Tag: politics

Canibal Shorties

Pesky Government Regulations: Saved lives.

A question of scale: Nope, not toys. It does make you wonder how big a quake caused this.

Tell me why we do this every Spring and Fall again: Not even cows like Daylight Savings Time.

They say they want to save money, then they prevent us from doing it: comparative effectiveness review and Medicare.

Doin It Live!: Public database for safety complaints.

Seriously?: Apparently I live in a dangerous Spring Break destination. Sorry, I’m not feeling it. Oh, I should probably say something about the Sahara closing down in a couple of months, but I’ll let Steve do it.

I love seeing a genuine economist say this: “Ayn Rand Is Full of Crap.” He has to point out that she wrote fiction.

That’s a real diet buster: It’s easier than you might think to eat a 2000 calorie meal at In-N-Out.

We’re off to a great start: 31 Most Ridiculous Quotes of 2011 So Far.

A New Political Party?: The People‘s Party.

Granny’s gonna live longer anyway: on the demographics of the employed and unemployed.

So Be It?: We may have added 222,000 private sector jobs last month, but massive government budget cutting may delete 710,000 old jobs. Can we afford that kind of budget cutting?

Wasn’t Universal Failure the Goal?: 82% of public schools may eventually be “failing,” even ones that by every other measure perform well. That’s what happens when “better” is your only goal.

A Nobel Winning Economist Isn’t Good Enough: for the Federal Reserve.

Flashbang: Potentially deadly against cops, deadly against suspects, deadly against the innocent.

She’s baaaaaack!: Sharron Angle.

Confused: If terraists can allegedly turn the oxygen masks in a plane into a weapon, why can’t terraists do it from their seats?

Only in Vegas: Ladies and gentlemen, the Chip Monk.

Har Har Hardy Har Har

Today I was forwarded a hilarious item called “Classes for Women at the Adult Learning Center.” In it were such gems as the following:

  • Up in Winter, Down in Summer – How to Adjust a Thermostat
  • Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?
  • Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase–Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
  • How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program
  • How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
  • [And my personal favorite,] Health Watch–They Make Medicine for PMS – USE IT!

Oh ho ho! How amusing! Forward to all your guy friends! Try not to spray your monitor with beer!

Well, what’s good for the goose is indeed good for the gander. So in the interest of fairness I would like to flip the brochure over and look at possible classes for men (no offense intended to the many fine gentlemen I know that could easily teach these classes):

  • Toilet Seats: the Three Critical Positions and When to Use Them
  • How to Ask for Directions and Read Manuals (with lab)
  • Etiquette for the Twenty First Century, or How to NOT get Slapped in Bars
  • Psychology Seminar: Just because she’s talking doesn’t mean she wants you to tell her how to solve her problems
  • Freeway Driving: It’s Not a Race to See Who Finishes First
  • [and finally] Sexual Intercourse: It’s Not a Race to See Who Finishes First

Got any suggestions? Put them in comments.

The “it would be funny if it weren’t true” part? Today I had planned a post on the one thing Iran, Somalia, Sudan, Nauru, Palau, Tonga, and the United States have in common: they haven’t seen fit to ratify a treaty saying that women have human rights. Think about that just a moment — Saudi Arabia and Afghanistan have signed on, but the US hasn’t.

In Closing: confessions; caffeine and weapons; throw them in jail; submit or start driving; expert Ezra; back to the grassroots; Arizona boycott is working; obstruction; Advice for Kate Middleton; and skeptical.

Huh.

I’m going to start by saying the only thing I intend to say about politics today: if are an American adult and you didn’t vote in Tuesday’s elections, I have no desire to hear any of your opinions about politics, the law, or the economy. You had your opportunity to make your voice known,  even if it was to vote for “none of the above.” Got that? Now get lost.

Now that that’s out of the way!

This week I’ve been collecting stories that just make you say “huh.” Like the newly found San Diego to Tijuana drug tunnel, complete with lights, ventilation, and a rail system! You know, if pot were legal and regulated, not only would this stuff have come into the country in a relatively safe truck, it would have generated taxes and tariffs. As a bonus it would be easier to keep it out of the hands of kids because the nice lady at 7-11 is actually going to check IDs. It would also cut the head off Mexican drug violence. (Funny, you heard a lot less about American gangsters after prohibition was repealed).

Elsewhere, CNN took it upon themselves to point out that cat costumes, Starfleet T-Shirts, teeny tiny miniskirts, blankets, evening gowns, and swimsuits are not appropriate attire for a job interview. Oh Really??

Another good one was USA Today informing us that kids who use “electronic media at night” sent an average of 34 texts or emails, and were often woken at night by calls or texts. Not surprisingly, they “may have mood or learning problems during the day….” Do you think??

But by far my favorite is the FBI manhunt for a couple involved in a Ponzi scheme. They allegedly defrauded a dozen investors of $3,000,000. Now here’s the strange part: the man met several of their victims while in prison. Now, would you take investment advice from a guy who was in prison? Apparently some people would.

In Closing: immaculate conception of snakes; the Great Wall of Croatia; T-Shirts for travelers; disaster coloring books; on unemployment and interest rates; shades of grey; JP nails it; amazing cure-all proven in study after study; Happy NaBloPoMo; the damage doesn’t look as bad from out here; and Samurai Reformer.