The Sheep and the Goat

If you’re easily offended, don’t click the “read more.” I’m warning you.

So let’s start with In Closing: well now the support for Keystone XL makes more sense; just a few women’s interest items; perspective on winter; heh; income inequality and the collapse of civilization; Pope Francis on God and Science; LPT; be afraid!; and oops. Oh yeah, and Happy Spring Equinox.

When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne.  All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

The line to get into Heaven was a long one, since many people die each day and there was no sense of urgency, eternity being what it was. And it came to pass that a little old lady made her way up to the Golden Throne.

The Lord asked “The second greatest Commandment is to love others. Tell me about your life, child. How did you show love to others?”

She clasped her hands as if she were nervous before answering “Well, Lord, I’m sorry. I didn’t do that much.”

“What?” He replied in surprise. “I seem to remember that you prayed for many people. You brought casseroles to families faced with births and with deaths. You provided a safe place for neighborhood kids to visit after school and fed them fresh baked cookies. You had kind words even for people you didn’t like very much. Welcome to Heaven!”

She thanked Him profusely as an Angel escorted her past the inner gate.

Another person approached, and again the Lord asked “The second greatest Commandment is to love others. Tell me about your life, child. How did you show love to others?”

He stood his ground and said “Well Lord, I’m not the best person in the world, but I tried real hard.”

The Lord smiled and said “Indeed you did. I remember the volunteer work you did when you had no money to give to charity, and the time you organized the winter coat drive for the elementary school on the other side of town, and don’t think I’ve forgotten about the litter of stray kittens you took in rather than leave them in the snow. Should I bring up that you learned CPR just in case you might need to save someone’s life someday?”

The man looked down at his feet and said “I guess I did do all those things.”

“Welcome to Heaven,” said the Lord as an Angel took him onward.

The next person looked up and smiled at the Lord as he repeated “The second greatest Commandment is to love others. Tell me about your life, child. How did you show love to others?”

He raised his arms as if in praise and prayer, and in a big booming voice, replied “Oh Lord in Heaven! I preached your Good News of salvation from sin to the masses! Every Sunday, I helped guide your followers in the paths of righteousness!”

The Lord cocked his head a little, and the smile melted off His face before he said “You told my precious children that they were going to Hell if they didn’t believe exactly as you did. You weren’t showing My love; you were showing your unholy hate. Get out of my sight forever.”

Two angels appeared, one on each side, and escorted the man to Hell, where some say he remains until the end of days.

I sincerely hope that preacher who died today has a big surprise coming.