Oh Noes, BE AFRAID!!!1!

So as I was in the midst of my morning newscrawl, I came across the headline “Report: Terrorists may poison US food supply.” Well, it turns out that the DHS knew about “a possible credible terrorism plot that targets food products in the restaurant and hotel industry, though the threat is non-specific about time and location for the plot.” And truth be told the Jerusalem Post reports that “Al Qaida planned to poison US hotel buffets, salad bars.”

Nevertheless, be afraid! The Evil Terrorists are wanting to poison your food!!

Of course it seems obvious to me that if we gave a damn about food security and really thought terrorism from foreign terrorist organizations was a risk, the first thing we would do is make sure that illegal immigrants are not harvesting and processing our food! But no, even many latte liberals think we somehow need underpaid, undocumented workers to get food from the farm to our plates.

In Closing: Amen; maps; food stamps; 308.7M; student loan debt; Dave Johnson is on a roll; CEOs; temps; and WTF.

On Being a Responsible Consumer

I grew up in a household that values the power of the consumer. I have never crossed a picket line. My father refused to so much as ride in a Mercedes because of what the company did in World War 2, before he was born. I’m not sure, but I think when Mercedes bought Chrysler, he sold his 10 year old New Yorker in favor of a Ford. He had purchased it used. I have at least forgiven VW for things done over 60 years ago.

Alright then. Just about the time that Wal-Mart (mostly) rehabilitated it’s corporate image, Target got itself in hot water with the liberal/progressive communities with ill-considered campaign donations, and stayed there after some Halloween ads that were considered in poor taste by Parent-Americans. Ok, fine, looks like Wal-Mart has moved to be the lesser of two evils, at least until the other day when they “teamed up” with the Department of Homeland Security to “catch terrorists” (remember, terrorists do “suspicious” things). Clearly, no officials from the DHS have ever actually been inside a Wal-Mart.

So where am I supposed to shop? Albertsons apparently wants to get rid of unions; is it alright to shop at Smith’s or Von’s? Will it be acceptable next week? Even if I could afford to shop at Whole Foods, there’s still the scandal surrounding their purchase of Wild Oats. I could go down to the farmer’s market, but unlike those amazing markets in cities like San Francisco, there’s just not a whole lot available. This of course assumes that the vendors at my local farmer’s market aren’t practicing the exact same contemptible business practices of the worst factory farms. “Hey Mr. Farmer! You don’t mind if I drive on out to your farm and see if your workers are legal before I spend $3 on onions, do you??”

And now I’m supposed to get rid of my Amazon.com account because they decided that the rest of their clients were more important than one controversial one? Screw that!

Since I am clearly not allowed to shop anyplace convenient or close, that means I’ll be using a bunch more gas: do I buy it from the guys who polluted Alaska, the guys who poisoned the Gulf of Mexico, one of many that is stirring up Middle East unrest, or the Venezuelan “dictator”? How do I reconcile my bigger “carbon footprint” with avoiding businesses whose practices I don’t like? Do I buy the electric car from Japan, or the American one that unlocks all my doors and puts my life in danger every time I put it in park?

Things get even worse if you want to boycott products by a certain company. Let’s say for the sake of argument that Proctor and Gamble has done something you disapprove of: here’s everything you must avoid if you want to vote with your wallet! You’ll have an easier time getting by without Colgate-Palmolive’s products. If you decide you won’t give money to P&G, Colgate, or Unilever, give up any hope of cleanliness. Ever. We’ll just call you Pig-Pen. Unless you prefer “Dirty Hippie.”

And let’s not get started on banks! Even if you are willing to endure the hassle of changing banks, the only way to be sure your new bank won’t be taken over by one of the big players is to give up and bank with a “too big to fail” institution and just live with the BAMTOR Principle. It’s worse with mortgages: you can’t control who buys the note, you can’t control who your servicer is, and you may not be able to stop them from claiming you owe money even if you don’t.

So how exactly am I supposed to “vote with my wallet”?

I’m deadly serious about this. It has literally gotten to the point where I cannot avoid doing business with companies I don’t like. How can I possibly stick it to the Oligarchy when I can’t go a day and a half without giving them my money or using their products and services?

When Ted Kaczynsky starts to look sane, the nation has gone crazy.

Prepare for Battle

Sargeant?

Yes Sir!

Assemble the troops for inspection.

ATTENTION POINSETTIA ARMY! This is Commander Potted Palm. The time has come to rise up! You’ve trained long and hard for this mission, and I see all of you are in your dress uniforms. Let’s get out there and make people believe that yes, we do indeed celebrate both Hanukkah and Christmas in Las Vegas!

In closing: stopping terrorism with pork; Computer Engineer Barbie got a phone upgrade (and she’s reasonably priced); body image fail; a few items on employment, unemployment, jobs, and our clueless government; it’s hard to hate a benevolent dictator; stop trying to kill Social Security!; now we might be getting somewhere, a couple of Harvard Law Students suing the TSA; Fed lent trillions of dollars rather than admit that our biggest banks should have been taken over by the government as insolvent; even a Fed Governor says some institutions are “too big to succeed“; it’s been a good week for Senator John Ensign; please, some freaking sanity about the Bush tax cuts!; close the Washington Monument; a strategy so simple even a Democrat can do it; I’m wondering why I canvassed for that man; and finally, Kim Jong-Il looking at things. Enjoy.

The Shorties Exorcism

Where Have You Been?: Playing Black Ops. CODBO or BLOPS if you prefer. No zombies.

Daddy Says So, and That’s That!: Jeb is not running for President in 2012. Even though Daddy admits that “he’s a good man, he performed as governor, he’s well-spoken, he’s not an extremist, he’s not a wild guy that attributes bad motives to those that disagree with him, and he’s good. And people that know him and hear him say the same thing.” In other words, all the stuff Dubya isn’t.

Totally Silly Acronym: It turns out that TSA screeners don’t like to touch your junk either. Mostly. But even though nobody finds the current system acceptable, the Boss says it’s not changing. Now, one thing that surprised me being trapped at an unexpected layover in Tucson is that the color-coded alerts are still in effect (“orange,” if you were wondering). Well, maybe not for long. Oh, and Ms. Napolitano thinks that nudie scanners should be installed for other mass transit as well! Way to kill any hope of relieving traffic congestion! The idea is that “terrorists are looking for vulnerabilities.” Then I got news for you, the mall is the next target. It’s soft, it’s easy to get in and out, and it’s full of people who aren’t thinking of security beyond “where’s my wallet”.

“What About My Options?”: Sharron Angle thinks she has political options. My neighbors think otherwise:

Lying With Statistics: Oh No! The Regulations!! They’re choking small businesses! Ok maybe not.

Ded body, snding pix: 911 may get upgrades allowing them to receive text messages and even video of emergencies in progress.

Meditation for Healthy Cells: Could be!

The Truth: Just Do It.

Think beyond the Infomercial: Tony Horton is.

Live From Sesame Street, It’s Saturday Night!:

That’s all folks. Happy Thanksgiving.

Dodged a Bullet

I was traveling last week — which explains the two picture posts — but did not have the *ahem* pleasure of doing nudie shots in the full body scanner or the full grope floor show. More on my trip another day, if I both feel like it and remember.

Of course by now everybody has heard about these special “x-ray” machines that leave nothing to the imagination. In fact, I think it’s a little misleading to call these things “x-ray machines” because they don’t do what the unit in your doctor’s office does; they are a virtual strip search. And yes, it has been demonstrated over and over again that they can and do save favorite pictures. These things being true, I hope some overzealous Attorney General decides to prosecute the TSA for producing kiddy porn.

Even if you are comfortable enough with your body that this does not concern you, there is the matter of radiation. Although the TSA insists that everything is fine and it’s all perfectly safe, actual scientists who aren’t being paid to tow the party line disagree strongly. Pilots of at least one airline have decided that just maybe the scientists are right.

Oh, and did you know that That Asshat Michael Chertoff* is making money off the damned things?

So fine, you can opt out. Sort of. You can choose to have your private parts fondled instead, in a manner that in any other circumstance would be called sexual assault. Again I must ask whether it is legal at all to touch minors in this way. And the kicker? None of this would have stopped 9/11, the Shoe Bomber, or even the Underpants Bomber.

This doesn’t even address the 4th Amendment issues that the TSA and Federal Government would like to pretend you’ve waived by trying to get home for Thanksgiving.

But thankfully, Joe and Jane Average are waking up and just starting to say “No!” And Congress is even saying “Now just wait a minute here.”

It’s time to object to this treatment, consider abolishing the TSA, and look at how they do security in countries where the risk from a bomb is greater than the risk of somebody saying no.

In Closing: Shadow Scholar; millionaires don’t need tax cuts; a plane affair; how not to kill roaches; Congress prepared to screw homeowners to hide fraud by too-big-to-fail banks; ten times as many people care about jobs and the economy than the federal deficit, but I’m clearly only pointing that out because I’m a liberal; call a waaaahmbulance; insurance erosion; goin hungry; at least we’re “pay[ing] off debt” (even if it’s by letting the bank take the house, and just letting the credit cards go); and Shatner sings.

* It is a sign of respect for me to address him by his full and complete title! There aren’t many guys I’d do that for.

Hold Your Nose and Pick One

The Nevada race for Senate continues to be close. But this week the Las Vegas Review Journal — our paper of record, serving roughly 75% of the state’s population — did a different poll. They found that 2/3 of people who support Sharron Angle wish the Republican candidate were someone else, along with 8 in 10 undecided voters.

Senator Reid isn’t out of the doghouse either: “Some 49 percent said they would have preferred another Democrat nominee over Reid, including 28 percent from his party, 66 percent of Republicans and 62 percent of the undecided or those aligned with other candidates.”

CBS has picked up the story, pointing out:

Before Angle’s nomination, Republicans were salivating over the likelihood that Reid would fall in the midterm elections in what was expected to be a demoralizing, high-profile defeat for Democrats. But Angle’s controversial positions on a variety of issues gave the majority leader an opening to portray her as too extreme for Nevada voters. Her nomination, coupled with Reid’s relative unpopularity, appears to have forced many in the state to have to choose between a pair of candidates about whom they have little enthusiasm.

So there is a question that we have to ask ourselves when we look at poll results: how many of those people who say they support one candidate will really go into that polling booth and select the other one? Where do the 66% of Republicans who wish Reid wasn’t the candidate overlap with the 68% who wish Angle wasn’t the candidate, and will some of them secretly vote for Reid? Will Angle say something between here and November so crazy that not even most Republicans can stand by her? Can Reid do anything to win over those who aren’t happy with her? Will voter turnout programs target at the unemployed matter in a state with one of the highest unemployment rates in the nation?

All these questions and more will be answered by November 2, 2010.

In closing: stop the rape; American birthrate at a new low; the Department of No Shit Sherlock (where did Susie find these great people to cover her blog while she’s away??); fighting for freedom, free of freedom; what on earth was the woman who tried to smuggle a baby tiger in a suitcase full of stuffed tigers thinking?? (cute little guy); when it comes to the GDP revisions, don’t forget to look at the huge gap between imports and exports (latte, anybody? Shame we can’t seem to export those); someone did a study showing children are likely to be underinsured (remember, children have no employers); 5 years after Katrina; how huge families make ends meet; garden porn??; riiight, nothing to do with fear-mongering talking-heads; and two blasts from the past that are relevant again, on public schools and Social Security. School starts Monday in Vegas and many other places; drive carefully.

Mortgapocolypse

Before we get to today’s news, let’s start with a bit of history and background on how banking and lending works. Long ago, the first bankers realized that the odds of everybody wanting their money at the same time were just astronomical. So if they were to lend some of that money out at interest, not only would they profit, but they could pass on a little bit of that interest to depositors, making people want to deposit money with them. Charging of interest is even discussed in the Bible, so we know it happened in Biblical times. This process in fact creates money, so it’s very important to the economy.

But let’s fast-forward to a mythical and highly simplified bank somewhere in America. We’ll call it Bailey Bank. Bailey’s got ten thousand depositors with an average daily balance of $1,000. Simple math says they have roughly $10,000,000 in deposits — small by modern standards but still nothing to sneeze at. The Federal Reserve Bank regulates how much money they need to have on hand, and also says how much needs to be deposited with them for emergency purposes. They still have plenty of money to lend out.

So Bailey makes a few dozen mortgage loans, and lends for a few farms and small businesses too. If they are short on cash, they can borrow money from nearby Potter Bank or from the Federal Reserve, at interest rates set by the Fed. These are the rates that Greenspan used to mess with, and the ones Bernanke can change today, not the rates that banks charge us but the rates they charge one another and the rate that the Fed charges them.

When they came to the point where they didn’t really have more money to lend, they sold a bunch of mortgages to Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Fannie and Freddie paid them to be the servicers — sending the bills and collecting the money — and paid Bailey most of the money they would have earned by keeping the mortgage until it was completely paid off. This left Bailey with more money to write more mortgages. But Fannie and Freddie have rules about what they will and won’t buy. So Bailey changed some lending policies to make sure that Fannie and Freddie would buy their loans. There are properties that you almost can’t get a mortgage on because other banks did the same thing.

You already know the sad story of banks being left holding the bag in the foreclosure crisis they created. And maybe you even have seen how banks are driving down property values in your neighborhood by dumping properties at ludicrously low asking prices.

This also left Fannie and Freddie behind the 8-ball, and it may yet cost American taxpayers $1,000,000,000,000 to fix it. Why bother? Because banks have stopped counting on holding mortgages until they mature and count on selling the paper to investors like Fannie and Freddie. Without someone to buy the paper and give banks more money to lend, lending will dry up even more than it already has. And that means almost nobody buys property without cash. It may already be too late to save Fannie and Freddie; they are being delisted from the New York Stock Exchange. It would be polite to say that’s a negative for the stocks.

But there is one ray of sunshine in the mortgage mess: the arrest of Lee Bentley Farkas of mortgage company Taylor, Bean & Whitaker. He and unnamed conspirators are accused of fraud in the TARP program, “misappropriating” $400,000,000, and causing the collapse of Colonial Bank by selling them $1,500,000,000 in bad mortgages. I agree that this prosecution is a good start.

In closing: Arizona still keen to repeal the 14th Amendment even as its schools wonder how to comply with state law; homelessness in America; China owns 13% of the publicly held national debt; some people said I was nuts when I suggested that some religious nuts favored the life of an embryo that couldn’t even become a baby over that of a fully grown woman; terrorist nitwits; and sometimes buttons are better than velcro.

A Fifth of Amendment

It’s been a long time since I talked about the Bill of Rights. Check out the previous installments: One, Two, Three, *crunch!* Four. Remember, all ten were written by guys who overthrew the legal government. Not that you’ll be learning that in Texas anymore.

The Fifth Amendment is probably the one people know the best, even if they aren’t aware of it. Thanks to almost a half century of police dramas like Dragnet and Law and Order, most people know this:

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you do say can and will be used against you in a court of law.

The actual words in the Fifth Amendment are a little more complicated:

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

So let’s pick this apart just a little. First: unless it’s a military matter, you’ve got to have a Grand Jury indictment before you storm off towards a trial. Second: you can’t prosecute somebody for the same thing twice. Third: and this is where Mr. Miranda comes into play — you can’t be made to testify against yourself (hence, “I’m taking the 5th“) or make statements against yourself that will be used as evidence (if you are dumb enough to blather on about how you did it while you are in police custody, it “can and will be used against you”), and moreover they can’t just arrest you or confiscate your stuff just because they feel like it. Finally, they can’t take your stuff “for public use” without paying you.

Asset forfeiture would appear to be pretty clearly not legal under the Fifth Amendment, but some judges said it was just dandy. Somehow “Activist judges” who “legislate from the bench” are only a problem when they do things ultra-conservatives don’t like.

So some very “conservative” people don’t think we should tell certain criminals that they have the right to shut up. That’s because — today at least — the “certain criminals” are terrorists, who under their definition are brown. After all, their logic goes, you never know when they might know about a threat that must be neutralized right away. Lives are at stake every moment they don’t talk! Therefore it is critically important to go all Jack Bauer on their asses immediately if not sooner.*

One must wonder if they would say the same thing if we were talking about nice white Christian terrorists like Tim McVeigh or William Krar.

As I see it, there are two huge problems with changing Miranda. First is the old “slippery slope.” Today it’s terrorists. Tomorrow it’s suspected serial killers. The next day it’s kidnappers or rapists. Pretty soon nobody’s got any rights once they’ve been accused of a felony. And don’t kid yourself, women and minorities would be less likely to be informed that maybe they should shut up and ask for a lawyer. It’s obvious that white boys never break the law, they only have “youthful indiscretions.”

The second problem is that the system we have actually works! The last two terrorists we caught were read their rights, and they were willing to talk to law enforcement anyway! A lot of people choose to give up their right to remain silent for reasons that are their own. There is no need to torture anybody, nor even a need to just shut up about their rights. Since one of the recent terrorists was a naturalized citizen, he might know his Constitutional rights better than some cops.

Seriously. The Fifth Amendment was good enough for guys like Alexander Hamilton, George Washington, Ben Franklin, James Madison, and a host of others. It’s good enough for me.

In Closing: Take Your Kids to the Park and Leave Them Day is Saturday; Volcanic Ash Maps; better get used to warmer temperatures (no more laughing about snowstorms “proving” global climate change is a hoax); reaping the whirlwind of Reaganomics; racial wealth gap quadrupled — yes quadrupled — since the 80s (don’t suppose that has anything to do with Reagan?); how important are small businesses to the economy?; Duhpartment of Research finds that reading skills in early grades are critical to academic success later; I could have told them that creative people tend to be a little crazy; oil in the water (and nothing BP does to try and cover up how much there is will change reality); and crazy architecture.

* Did you know that in 2007, an American General personally flew out to Hollywood to ask the producers of 24 to cut the torture and other illegal crap out?

Happy Greenery Day!

Today is Midori No Hi, or Greenery Day. Originally celebrated in late April as the [previous] Emperor’s Birthday, Hirohito-sama’s love of nature prompted the current Emperor Akihito-sama to make it a permanent holiday celebrating the great outdoors. It is part of a “Golden Week” of holidays, so don’t plan on getting anything done with business associates in Japan this week.

Picture taken by the ShortWoman in April of 2007. It’s an Asian pear tree in blossom.

In Closing: Stuff you thought you would never hear the President say; the economy is a very different place depending on whether you are an American family or an American auto manufacturer; Tony Horton is the man (except when Henry Rollins is); the hole this school district is in keeps getting deeper; Would Jesus Be Accepted by the Conservatives?; Airline fees are out of hand; Just a few choice words about BP and the oil disaster in the Gulf; Porn Star saves man from prison; unHappy Mothers Day; look, it’s called the 5th Amendment and it applies to all Americans; Baseball players against racial profiling; Audit the Fed!; and two amusing items, I Shot the Serif and Nunderwear.

Low Hanging Fruit on the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil

This is a special post for Blog Against Theocracy Weekend. Yesterday’s post was a repost of my 2007 offering.

Nobody is harmed by the fact that “In God We Trust” appears on our money.

Most of us can ignore public prayers at a public school event —  or compose our own alternate prayers and meditations in our minds.

Some of us held our noses when considering the political implications of who was chosen to offer prayers at President Obama’s inauguration, but nobody died as a result.

But church meddling in our newly passed Health Insurance Reform bill may well cause harm and perhaps even death to some people. However, since those people are women, some people don’t care. Moreover, church meddling in civil law may well bring harm to the poor in Washington DC.

It is of course the low hanging fruit: the Catholic Church.

In a petulant fit of pique, Catholic Charities threatened to cut off services to Washington DC if they actually made it legal for gay people to marry. When they realized that they could not in fact do that without legal repercussions, they instead decided to deny benefits to all new employee partners, gay or straight. Further, they demanded that new employees sign a statement that they won’t violate the tenets of the Church!

Remove the plank from thine own eye, Catholic Church!

If there were ever a stronger case for a public safety net rather than depending on the fickleness of charitable organizations deciding that this issue is important and this not, I am not familiar with it. As much as we all appreciate the work that charities do, it is simply not acceptable to pick up your ball (or shelter, or food kitchen) and threaten to go home if you don’t get your way. And pressuring new employees into signing documents regarding their private lives is just a little onerous, particularly in the middle of a recession where the only new jobs really being created are temp positions with the Census. Denying partners health insurance within weeks of a law being signed requiring mandatory insurance in a few years? Just twist the knife already in the new employee’s back.

Of course, it is now well known how the Catholic Bishops meddled in the Health Insurance Reform Bill, even over the objections of the Catholic Nuns — who for all their own faults aren’t accused of covering up dozens of priests who committed sexual crimes against thousands of minors under the age of consent. There. I didn’t call them pedophiles, but what they did is criminal and should be prosecuted. Since there was a clear conspiracy, no statute of limitations applies.

So then, when something tragic happens to a woman in your life and she must make the terrible decision to abort an embryo or fetus, remember that it would have been covered under her mandated health insurance policy if it weren’t for these meddling kid-molesters. If she finds it difficult to find a provider who will help her, remember that it is Catholic groups that have hounded doctors out of the business. And remember, not a single one of these Bishops will ever get pregnant, will ever have a wife who might get pregnant, will ever have a daughter who might get pregnant. Talk about no skin in the game.

As easy as it is to lob shots at the Catholic Church right now, I don’t want to overlook another serious threat to the separation of Church and State. Susie Madrak has pointed out that there is now an investigation by CREW into whether the shadowy religious group known as “The Fellowship” or “The Family” has been breaking the law by providing below market rents to the Congressmen who live in their C Street residence. Rep. Stupak and Sen. Ensign both could have [additional] problems as a result. Since it is relatively well documented that the purpose of this group is to put control of Congress in “godly” handstheir narrow definition of godly, of course — this investigation is necessary and overdue.

In Closing: They don’t make recoveries like they used to; job creation looks even worse compared to population growth; huh, I guess it is possible to teach a large number of students at once; I’ll say it again on the 19th, but this is what Militias are about; You can’t talk bad about your boss!; bankruptcy filings up you say? Well, as long as they aren’t spiking!; it’s surely a sign of Armageddon for me to link to Politico, but Banking Hypocrisy; melanoma may be more complicated than staying out in the sun too long (which never seemed to hurt our great grandparents much); and no, you should not laugh out loud if you see somebody drowning.