Stupid Government Tricks

It’s hard to know where to begin.

Yesterday, Joe Biden announced the White House’s attempt to slam the barn door after the horse is gone. Or rather, “try again” to end tax cuts for the rich. Mr. Obama already had that opportunity: it’s called a veto.

Let’s not forget Joe LIEberman and the so-called “Internet Kill Switch” that has been getting a lot of press coverage lately — especially since it turns out Egypt can and did turn of the Internet this week. Senator LIEberman of course denies that his bill contains any such provision, but with bills being multi-hundred page monstrosities often partly written by corporate interests, who can tell. Of course the truth is that this is old news, recycled for the new year (how very environmentally friendly). More truth, it would be difficult to implement in the United States, to say nothing of probably unconstitutional. Not that this matters to the current crew in Washington.

Speaking of “who cares about whether it’s constitutional,” the PATRIOT Act is up for renewal. Further, it looks very much like it’s going to be quietly rubber-stamped while everybody is busy arguing about gun control, the National Debt, Social Security, austerity, and tweaks to last year’s health insurance “reform” bill. If you think that sucks scissors, click here and voice your objections. Look everybody from MoveOn to the Cato Institute thinks it stinks; let’s get rid of it.

Once we’re done with the PATRIOT Act, perhaps we can have some meaningful reform (or abolition) of the TSA, who decided this week that they aren’t going to let any airport exercise their legal right to opt out of having TSA grope their passengers. This despite the fact that “”Nearly every positive security innovation since the beginning of TSA has come from the contractor screening program….”

While we’re on the topic of unilateral decisions by government agencies that fly in the face of public opinion, the USDA has decided that not only can farmers plant genetically engineered alfalfa, it won’t even keep track of how much is out there or where it is. Since alfalfa is bee-pollinated, the genetic material from these plants cannot help but to spread wildly. This means, in the words of Alternet, that “you can now kiss organic beef, dairy, and many vegetables goodbye.” It also puts every farmer at risk of owing Monsanto a royalty for foolishly allowing bees to deposit proprietary genes on their land. (Yes, it has been a long time since I quoted Alternet).

But back to Congress. Is there anybody here who thinks it’s a good idea for girls 10, 12, or 14 years old to be having babies? Anybody? Bueller? Well, John Boehner and 173 co-sponsors think that’s just fine. At least, they don’t want any of their precious tax dollars or even your dollars in your own tax-exempt Health Savings Account to be used for an abortion if it turns out your daughter is molested. They have proposed that “rape” be redefined as “forcible.” So, drugged at a party and wake up with no underwear and find out you’re pregnant a couple months later? Pony up your own abortion funds or live with the “consequences”, sweetie. Your sister who was left quadriplegic in a car crash and was subsequently molested by somebody at the rehab hospital? Hope you’ve got cash. But clearly, I’m just being “emotional.”

Maybe John Boner is one of the few people to whom I should ascribe a special nickname. He’d be in rarefied company with Joe LIEberman, Pat “Go f*** yourself” Leahy, and That Asshat Michael Chertoff.

In closing: at this rate we’re on target for another record year of bank closures (and even bigger “too big to fail” institutions); too young not to work, too old to get a job; compare and contrast; HealthSouth; more VW; and 8 wacky jobs at great companies. Sorry, these positions are all filled.

In the Shorties of Madness

What’s Your Angle: In what I fervently hope will be the last thing I have to say about Sharron Angle ever, Angle announces that she won’t be answering any questions asked by the pesky [local] media until she is a Senator, darn it. And Channel 8? You are so not invited to her Election Night Party, so there! Listen sweetie, if you don’t want people asking you questions in public, don’t be a public figure.

Let common sense prevail: Did you know that something in your body is very likely subject to a United States Patent? Good thing that big corporations haven’t figured out a way to charge you for that. Anyway, it looks like the United States may revisit the idea that my genes and your genes can be somebody else’s intellectual property.

I keep saying this: sugary drinks are not good for you.

Fail: When trying to steal copper from a vacant home, make sure the power is in fact off first. Oh, and leave the kids at home rather than sitting in the car waiting for you.

They’re mad as hell: and worse yet, they think they have some right to hurt or even kill you if you dare to disagree with them and their vision of a Utopian past-future. I’m beginning to wonder if my “liberal” respect for life — endorsed by the 10 Commandments and Jesus himself! — might need some retooling in the face of reality.

It’s the fraud, stupid: That’s the short version. It’s starting to look like the various state Attorneys General don’t like the BAMTOR Principle and may even hold banks accountable for their criminal actions, even if the SEC merely thinks the law is some sort of a suggestion.

I realize you may never need to know this: Table Etiquette for Formal Dinners in Japan.

This could turn out badly: So most people aren’t willing to relocate for a job anymore. More to the point, they can’t relocate for a job because they can’t sell their house for anything close to what they paid for it (advantage to renters?). At what point will job seekers decide to take the job and walk away from the house they can’t afford without work?

Looking forward to it: a long overdue re-work of Power90, a follow-on to Insanity, and more details on P90X MC2.

Ezra is correct again: Since most people retire because they have to rather than because they want to, raising the retirement age is a really dumb idea.

Urine Drug Tests Must Stop: a woman had her newborn taken away because she foolishly ate a bagel with poppy seeds on it. Why do we tolerate businesses, schools, and government entities making decisions about our lives based on such an inaccurate test?

Bloody Romans: “I don’t get nothin from the government!” Except of course for my mortgage interest deduction, student loans, unemployment insurance, Social Security, VA benefits, Medicare, G.I. Bill benefits….

Clearly deregulation is the answer: after all airlines would surely keep planes in good repair all by themselves if there were no pesky regulations requiring it.

Nothing left for me to say: Comrade E.B. Misfit said it all.

A reason to encourage absentee voting: nobody to harass you at the polls for being too brown.

Hope you are having fun: at the ColbertStewart rally.

Blast from the past: old computer equipment ads.

And last but not least: at least they are honest about it!

So remember to vote this Tuesday if you haven’t already. And remember my handy tip for voter initiatives, just say no.