Shorties Horizon

Dead Zombie Horse: a few thoughts on health insurance reform. And Immaculate Infection.

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree: you make a fine fish habitat.

Laughing all the way to the bank: Only $3 billion? Pshaw! Let me get my checkbook.

Speaking of Banks: FDIC may sue executives of failed banks to try and get some of their money back. Oh and if we won’t do anything about too big to fail, Europe will.

Just Call Him Phoenix: a real life superhero in Seattle.

Nice: The Westin St. Francis washes every coin it receives.

Nuts: the rift between environmentally conscious Christians and nutjobs who think Jesus will just fix the environment.

The Dude Abides: Well no, it’s really just Jeff Bridges.

Obligatory January Weight Items: most Americans think their weight and dietary habits are just fine, thank you. Here’s the 8 worst diet and fitness fads of 2010. And for the motivated, a kick-start workout guide (don’t forget to eat healthy foods in moderate quantities!)

On Poverty: officially and in reality. At least it’s creating jobs at Dollar General, for what it’s worth.

Nevertheless: I hope you never need to know this information.

On Republicans: Go ahead and read the Constitution. How do they get away with telling the same lies so much we start to believe it’s true? Three Cups of Tea (tell ’em, Howard!). Hey big businesses, what laws do you want to not follow anymore? Guide to Governance. The sane people are concerned. And an open letter.

On all the other parties: Ha! Seriously though, I’d like to see a big, televised debate between party leaders of all these “third parties,” live during prime time. It would be a great laugh (have you ever read some of the published party platforms??), and the few good ideas will get picked up by someone who can run with it.

Delicious: Bison.

Oops: I mean oats.

Immigration Reform: it’s more complicated than putting up a fence.

Images: ranging from merely amusing to mind-blowing.

Welcome to 2011.

Oh Noes, BE AFRAID!!!1!

So as I was in the midst of my morning newscrawl, I came across the headline “Report: Terrorists may poison US food supply.” Well, it turns out that the DHS knew about “a possible credible terrorism plot that targets food products in the restaurant and hotel industry, though the threat is non-specific about time and location for the plot.” And truth be told the Jerusalem Post reports that “Al Qaida planned to poison US hotel buffets, salad bars.”

Nevertheless, be afraid! The Evil Terrorists are wanting to poison your food!!

Of course it seems obvious to me that if we gave a damn about food security and really thought terrorism from foreign terrorist organizations was a risk, the first thing we would do is make sure that illegal immigrants are not harvesting and processing our food! But no, even many latte liberals think we somehow need underpaid, undocumented workers to get food from the farm to our plates.

In Closing: Amen; maps; food stamps; 308.7M; student loan debt; Dave Johnson is on a roll; CEOs; temps; and WTF.

Shorties Carpenter’s The Thing

Medical Breakthrough: 2 Hour tuberculosis test. Imagine being able to treat people now without risking that you’re treating something non-existent, and without waiting months to be sure.

When the Cows Come Home: Quite literally.

I owned one once: Bungalows.

On the President and the Economy: ‘Nuff said. Maybe we could use some good old fashioned labor uprising. And where are we going to get the jobs we really need out of tax cuts?

I am Lawful Evil: Heh.

Right On: Essential elements of filibuster reform.

About Effing Time: “You know, maybe we should hold banks to some sort of minimum capital standards!”  D’ya think??

Speaking of the Banks: Refreshing Candor.

Dave Nails It: “Can’t get by on $250K? Try leaving your bubble!”

One of the Smarter Things I’ve Read about Yesterday’s Court Ruling: Remember, only the individual mandate has been thrown out.

Worth Thinking About: I don’t agree with all of it, but these are things we need to think about.

I love Radly Balko: In an intellectual way of course. On the TSA and ACLU.

The 99ers: read this.

Hope for Following the Law: cracking down on firms that just turn employees into contractors.

Fail: The War on Drugs.

Robert Reich: Enthusiasm Gap.

That’s it for today. Keeping it Short but sweet.

On Being a Responsible Consumer

I grew up in a household that values the power of the consumer. I have never crossed a picket line. My father refused to so much as ride in a Mercedes because of what the company did in World War 2, before he was born. I’m not sure, but I think when Mercedes bought Chrysler, he sold his 10 year old New Yorker in favor of a Ford. He had purchased it used. I have at least forgiven VW for things done over 60 years ago.

Alright then. Just about the time that Wal-Mart (mostly) rehabilitated it’s corporate image, Target got itself in hot water with the liberal/progressive communities with ill-considered campaign donations, and stayed there after some Halloween ads that were considered in poor taste by Parent-Americans. Ok, fine, looks like Wal-Mart has moved to be the lesser of two evils, at least until the other day when they “teamed up” with the Department of Homeland Security to “catch terrorists” (remember, terrorists do “suspicious” things). Clearly, no officials from the DHS have ever actually been inside a Wal-Mart.

So where am I supposed to shop? Albertsons apparently wants to get rid of unions; is it alright to shop at Smith’s or Von’s? Will it be acceptable next week? Even if I could afford to shop at Whole Foods, there’s still the scandal surrounding their purchase of Wild Oats. I could go down to the farmer’s market, but unlike those amazing markets in cities like San Francisco, there’s just not a whole lot available. This of course assumes that the vendors at my local farmer’s market aren’t practicing the exact same contemptible business practices of the worst factory farms. “Hey Mr. Farmer! You don’t mind if I drive on out to your farm and see if your workers are legal before I spend $3 on onions, do you??”

And now I’m supposed to get rid of my Amazon.com account because they decided that the rest of their clients were more important than one controversial one? Screw that!

Since I am clearly not allowed to shop anyplace convenient or close, that means I’ll be using a bunch more gas: do I buy it from the guys who polluted Alaska, the guys who poisoned the Gulf of Mexico, one of many that is stirring up Middle East unrest, or the Venezuelan “dictator”? How do I reconcile my bigger “carbon footprint” with avoiding businesses whose practices I don’t like? Do I buy the electric car from Japan, or the American one that unlocks all my doors and puts my life in danger every time I put it in park?

Things get even worse if you want to boycott products by a certain company. Let’s say for the sake of argument that Proctor and Gamble has done something you disapprove of: here’s everything you must avoid if you want to vote with your wallet! You’ll have an easier time getting by without Colgate-Palmolive’s products. If you decide you won’t give money to P&G, Colgate, or Unilever, give up any hope of cleanliness. Ever. We’ll just call you Pig-Pen. Unless you prefer “Dirty Hippie.”

And let’s not get started on banks! Even if you are willing to endure the hassle of changing banks, the only way to be sure your new bank won’t be taken over by one of the big players is to give up and bank with a “too big to fail” institution and just live with the BAMTOR Principle. It’s worse with mortgages: you can’t control who buys the note, you can’t control who your servicer is, and you may not be able to stop them from claiming you owe money even if you don’t.

So how exactly am I supposed to “vote with my wallet”?

I’m deadly serious about this. It has literally gotten to the point where I cannot avoid doing business with companies I don’t like. How can I possibly stick it to the Oligarchy when I can’t go a day and a half without giving them my money or using their products and services?

When Ted Kaczynsky starts to look sane, the nation has gone crazy.

Self-Serving Bunch of Asshats

Today, Bank of Asshat America said “Investors should be buying bonds in all categories of U.S. securitized debt, in part because the market will continue to shrink next year.”

Securitized debt. That’s bonds backed by things like real estate loans and leases.

Now let’s see, Bank Of Asshat, where might you come up with those? Perhaps from Countrywide??

How convenient that your analyst thinks we should buy the thing that you just happen to be selling. Very convenient.

In Closing: How enterprise crashed the economy; katsudon; too frustrated about the DINOcrats folding on tax cuts for people who don’t need them to say anything rational; Steven King will rip the throat out of your Twilight whiny sparkly vampires; bank failures; full one way, empty the other; you think Sarah Palin is bad?; jobless rate by level of education; young adult fiction; it never occurred to her that you might not be able to afford cereal and a banana (fine, b****, you adopt them all!); and this:
Rob Rogers

Prepare for Battle

Sargeant?

Yes Sir!

Assemble the troops for inspection.

ATTENTION POINSETTIA ARMY! This is Commander Potted Palm. The time has come to rise up! You’ve trained long and hard for this mission, and I see all of you are in your dress uniforms. Let’s get out there and make people believe that yes, we do indeed celebrate both Hanukkah and Christmas in Las Vegas!

In closing: stopping terrorism with pork; Computer Engineer Barbie got a phone upgrade (and she’s reasonably priced); body image fail; a few items on employment, unemployment, jobs, and our clueless government; it’s hard to hate a benevolent dictator; stop trying to kill Social Security!; now we might be getting somewhere, a couple of Harvard Law Students suing the TSA; Fed lent trillions of dollars rather than admit that our biggest banks should have been taken over by the government as insolvent; even a Fed Governor says some institutions are “too big to succeed“; it’s been a good week for Senator John Ensign; please, some freaking sanity about the Bush tax cuts!; close the Washington Monument; a strategy so simple even a Democrat can do it; I’m wondering why I canvassed for that man; and finally, Kim Jong-Il looking at things. Enjoy.

How to Create a Few Hundred Thousand Jobs

Now, I’m normally a Westin kinda person, but I enjoyed seeing J.W. Marriott Jr. point out that “the government has made it far more difficult for foreigners to travel to the U.S., costing the nation tens of billions in lost revenue and hundreds of thousands of jobs“.

My favorite part:

Marriott said he has met repeatedly with officials at the State Department and other government agencies, but they have been largely unresponsive.“We keep talking and they look at us and say, ‘We’re protecting the country,’ ” Marriott said.

Yeah, protecting us to death.

Maybe I’m a little sensitive to this stuff, living in a city that was called “among the world’s worst economies” by a new study.

Anyway, it’s time to “take a sensible approach to air security” based on reality, not fear. Maybe we could get man’s best friend into the act. After all, dogs don’t profile.

In Closing: pterosaurs; “the official dietary recommendations are not sufficient for preventing obesity“; instant gratification; Senate passes “food safety bill” that kindly omits meat, poultry, and eggs (but does create a bureaucracy, so it’s all good, right?); homecoming; banks get richer off our money; 8 million fewer credit card users; privatizing Social Security is still a dumb idea!; and Sue Lowden is shocked — just shocked! — that Chickens for Healthcare didn’t send her to the Senate.

Dodged a Bullet

I was traveling last week — which explains the two picture posts — but did not have the *ahem* pleasure of doing nudie shots in the full body scanner or the full grope floor show. More on my trip another day, if I both feel like it and remember.

Of course by now everybody has heard about these special “x-ray” machines that leave nothing to the imagination. In fact, I think it’s a little misleading to call these things “x-ray machines” because they don’t do what the unit in your doctor’s office does; they are a virtual strip search. And yes, it has been demonstrated over and over again that they can and do save favorite pictures. These things being true, I hope some overzealous Attorney General decides to prosecute the TSA for producing kiddy porn.

Even if you are comfortable enough with your body that this does not concern you, there is the matter of radiation. Although the TSA insists that everything is fine and it’s all perfectly safe, actual scientists who aren’t being paid to tow the party line disagree strongly. Pilots of at least one airline have decided that just maybe the scientists are right.

Oh, and did you know that That Asshat Michael Chertoff* is making money off the damned things?

So fine, you can opt out. Sort of. You can choose to have your private parts fondled instead, in a manner that in any other circumstance would be called sexual assault. Again I must ask whether it is legal at all to touch minors in this way. And the kicker? None of this would have stopped 9/11, the Shoe Bomber, or even the Underpants Bomber.

This doesn’t even address the 4th Amendment issues that the TSA and Federal Government would like to pretend you’ve waived by trying to get home for Thanksgiving.

But thankfully, Joe and Jane Average are waking up and just starting to say “No!” And Congress is even saying “Now just wait a minute here.”

It’s time to object to this treatment, consider abolishing the TSA, and look at how they do security in countries where the risk from a bomb is greater than the risk of somebody saying no.

In Closing: Shadow Scholar; millionaires don’t need tax cuts; a plane affair; how not to kill roaches; Congress prepared to screw homeowners to hide fraud by too-big-to-fail banks; ten times as many people care about jobs and the economy than the federal deficit, but I’m clearly only pointing that out because I’m a liberal; call a waaaahmbulance; insurance erosion; goin hungry; at least we’re “pay[ing] off debt” (even if it’s by letting the bank take the house, and just letting the credit cards go); and Shatner sings.

* It is a sign of respect for me to address him by his full and complete title! There aren’t many guys I’d do that for.

In the Shorties of Madness

What’s Your Angle: In what I fervently hope will be the last thing I have to say about Sharron Angle ever, Angle announces that she won’t be answering any questions asked by the pesky [local] media until she is a Senator, darn it. And Channel 8? You are so not invited to her Election Night Party, so there! Listen sweetie, if you don’t want people asking you questions in public, don’t be a public figure.

Let common sense prevail: Did you know that something in your body is very likely subject to a United States Patent? Good thing that big corporations haven’t figured out a way to charge you for that. Anyway, it looks like the United States may revisit the idea that my genes and your genes can be somebody else’s intellectual property.

I keep saying this: sugary drinks are not good for you.

Fail: When trying to steal copper from a vacant home, make sure the power is in fact off first. Oh, and leave the kids at home rather than sitting in the car waiting for you.

They’re mad as hell: and worse yet, they think they have some right to hurt or even kill you if you dare to disagree with them and their vision of a Utopian past-future. I’m beginning to wonder if my “liberal” respect for life — endorsed by the 10 Commandments and Jesus himself! — might need some retooling in the face of reality.

It’s the fraud, stupid: That’s the short version. It’s starting to look like the various state Attorneys General don’t like the BAMTOR Principle and may even hold banks accountable for their criminal actions, even if the SEC merely thinks the law is some sort of a suggestion.

I realize you may never need to know this: Table Etiquette for Formal Dinners in Japan.

This could turn out badly: So most people aren’t willing to relocate for a job anymore. More to the point, they can’t relocate for a job because they can’t sell their house for anything close to what they paid for it (advantage to renters?). At what point will job seekers decide to take the job and walk away from the house they can’t afford without work?

Looking forward to it: a long overdue re-work of Power90, a follow-on to Insanity, and more details on P90X MC2.

Ezra is correct again: Since most people retire because they have to rather than because they want to, raising the retirement age is a really dumb idea.

Urine Drug Tests Must Stop: a woman had her newborn taken away because she foolishly ate a bagel with poppy seeds on it. Why do we tolerate businesses, schools, and government entities making decisions about our lives based on such an inaccurate test?

Bloody Romans: “I don’t get nothin from the government!” Except of course for my mortgage interest deduction, student loans, unemployment insurance, Social Security, VA benefits, Medicare, G.I. Bill benefits….

Clearly deregulation is the answer: after all airlines would surely keep planes in good repair all by themselves if there were no pesky regulations requiring it.

Nothing left for me to say: Comrade E.B. Misfit said it all.

A reason to encourage absentee voting: nobody to harass you at the polls for being too brown.

Hope you are having fun: at the ColbertStewart rally.

Blast from the past: old computer equipment ads.

And last but not least: at least they are honest about it!

So remember to vote this Tuesday if you haven’t already. And remember my handy tip for voter initiatives, just say no.

Shorties in the Sky

Impressive: America needs roughly $2,200,000,000,000 in repairs to things like roads, tunnels, bridges and the like. You don’t suppose doing something like that might result in some kind of fiscal stimulus?

Stick to feeding the poor and preaching peace: young people increasingly turned off by the hateful political crap spewed by many churches.

Do Not Grope the Pilot: He would also like you to not take naked pictures of him, and moreover he would like you to assume he is not a terrorist.

Is it time to resign yet?: Senator John Ensign (the guy who isn’t Harry Reid) raised a whopping $18,000 last quarter. Unfortunately he had to shell out over a half million dollars in legal fees.

Color By Numbers: There are more black men in prison today than were enslaved in 1850. You don’t really believe that’s because the overwhelming majority of crimes are committed by black people, do you? You don’t suppose that there could be just a wee tiny bit of racism going on?

I Dare you?: D.A.R.E., encouraging children to put their parents in prison and themselves in foster care, all for the unworthy goal of the long since lost “War On Drugs.” Heck, we couldn’t even win the “War On Drugs” by re-destroying the #1 opium producing nation in the world!

Go Ahead, Make the Case for Medicare For All: Some insurance companies are threatening to stop writing policies if they are forced to follow the law in 2011 instead of a largely theoretical future date of their choosing. Yeah, you just go on and do that, suckers. In the meantime, the Feds are taking on Michigan Blue Cross for stifling competition in a way that raises prices. Nice to see them the Feds actually giving a darn about normal people over corporations for a change.

Obligatory Items on the Economy: Reich’s Perfect Storm; donations down 11% at the top 400 American charities; the problem with the economy so that absolutely anybody can understand it.

No Woman Should Have to Put Up with This Crap:Some students and the Yale Women’s Center board complained after pledges were videotaped last week, chanting about necrophilia and a specific sexual act.” Pledge activities have been suspended, but as far as I am concerned, some wealthy young [insert offensive plural noun] needs to get suspended or expelled. Let them explain to their daddies and mommies what they did on videotape and why. “Boys will be boys” my ass!

Password protection for your internet connection is a good idea: “Deputies arrested Candice Miller only after they raided the wrong house. Investigators busted into the neighbors’ house suspecting they were sending child porn. Turns out Miller’s neighbors didn’t secure their wireless Internet connection.”

The Difference Between Theft and Piracy: boils down to what you’ve got afterward.

If Only: Myth Busted! Can we move on to where you were born?

Smart people drink more: Alcohol consumption correlates with intelligence.

I guess I know what I’m wearing tomorrow: purple. Relevant.

It’s less annoying than air travel: record number of riders on Amtrak.

No I don’t really need this: but a pizza cutter shaped like the Enterprise is still pretty cool.

I promise it’s the only thing I’ll say about it here: (But expect a post over at BridgetMagnus.com about foreclosures later) Ladies and gentlemen I present the dumbest thing anybody has said about a moratorium on foreclosures! “For instance, in Cleveland, where there are over 18,000 vacant homes, lives Millie Davis who recently earned her Master’s Degree in Urban Planning from Cleveland State University and just bought her first home – one that had fallen into foreclosure and sat abandoned for years. Had a blanket moratorium been in place, that sale would have fallen through — not only deferring her dream of homeownership but leaving neighbors on the block to stand by and watch as their property values continue to plummet.” Now then first of all her Master’s degree couldn’t possibly have less to do with the situation. I’ve got one of those myself and a fat lot of good it’s done me. Second, I don’t think anybody is talking about going back and examining the paperwork on homes that “sat abandoned for years.” That is all water under the bridge. The priority right now is to make sure that the banks or other entities that are foreclosing on homes a) have the legal right to do so and b) follow all the applicable laws when they do it (and they probably don’t). Failing to find this out now could result in millions of homes that can’t be sold at all because nobody can prove who really owns them. Oh, and c) “vacant” and “foreclosed” are two different things, which is something I would have expected the Secretary of HOUSING and Urban Development to know.

And one last thing: great descriptions of things on TV.