We interrupt this post to point out the obvious. Torturing, humiliating, and murdering prisoners is a bad thing. Even the President of the United States says so. It isn’t even acceptable when it happens in American prisons. Don’t dare excuse it by saying these were all “bad” people. The bottom line is they are all people. Maybe they don’t deserve deluxe accommodations and gourmet meals, but they surely don’t deserve what has happened either. Enough said.
We now return you to your previously scheduled commentary.
When I took English 1302 in college, they took great pains to remind us that when writing an essay, we must consider our audience: who will be reading it; what will they be expecting to see; what do we want to say to them. There was the tacit understanding that through most of our collegiate career, our primary audience would be our professors, who would among other things expect to see good grammar and spelling, and an adequate understanding of the things you were supposed to have learned in class. Depending on the professor — and this was something you might hear in passing or something you might experience first hand — you might be expected to adhere to a certain party line, and at least pretend to espouse liberalism, conservatism, feminism, chauvanism, capitalism, socialism, Protestantism, Darwinism, or the theory of the day. Failure to adhere to this unwritten rule is failure to consider and cater to your audience.
This principle can be applied to business too. In fact, I like to summarize it as follows: Do not annoy your customers. This includes both people who use your product/service, and those who might do so someday. This may come as a shock, but people don’t like to do business with companies that annoy them. There are some exceptions to this rule of thumb, for example if you are fortunate enough to have a monopoly (telephone, cable, computer operating system). Or perhaps if you are in a situation where the people who pay the bills are different from the people who actually use your services (any business that depends on insurance companies for reimbursement).
The bottom line is that I will avoid giving you money if you annoy me. That being the case, don’t stuff flyers under my windshield wiper. Don’t stick them in my front door. Don’t send me spam, don’t call me, don’t send me junk faxes (who the heck are these people buying OTC penny stocks on the basis of a fax tip anyway? And when I want a new mortgage, I’ll call a mortgage broker rather than check my fax machine). Think about it for a minute: do you do business with companies that advertise this way? No? Then why on earth would you waste time and money doing it? I don’t really mind junk mail, because most of it recycles. Besides which, every once in a while I actually find a company to do business with from junk mail. Just the same, how many AOL CDs do I really need?
Make it easy to get ahold of you. I shouldn’t have to play tag just to find a valid phone number for you. When I do call, I do not want to navigate an arcane voice-mail system, I want to talk to you and arrange service or solve a problem. And if you have a web site, it should be simple, fast loading, and easy to navigate. Oh, and it should definitely include a way to reach you someplace.
I’m already your customer? Then return my phone calls promptly. Show up when you say you will, and have all the equipment you need to do the job. Do what I need done, and do it right the first time. I will not be happy if you have to come back to my property to fix things you messed up, missed, or just plain didn’t do correctly. Be responsible. Don’t tell me how reliable and professional you are, show me. Gee, another business rule you could have learned in English class.
Don’t talk down to me, don’t try to sell me goods and services I don’t need, and for goodness sake don’t you dare call me “dear” or “honey.” You can darn well call your customers by their title and last name: Mr. Jones, Miss Smith, Dr. Stewart; your customer is not your buddy. If you have a customer who feels this is too formal, he or she will correct you. Smile and comply with his or her wishes. The “topic sentence” of this paragraph — and this essay — is treat people with respect.