Sargeant?
Yes Sir!
Assemble the troops for inspection.
ATTENTION POINSETTIA ARMY! This is Commander Potted Palm. The time has come to rise up! You’ve trained long and hard for this mission, and I see all of you are in your dress uniforms. Let’s get out there and make people believe that yes, we do indeed celebrate both Hanukkah and Christmas in Las Vegas!
In closing: stopping terrorism with pork; Computer Engineer Barbie got a phone upgrade (and she’s reasonably priced); body image fail; a few items on employment, unemployment, jobs, and our clueless government; it’s hard to hate a benevolent dictator; stop trying to kill Social Security!; now we might be getting somewhere, a couple of Harvard Law Students suing the TSA; Fed lent trillions of dollars rather than admit that our biggest banks should have been taken over by the government as insolvent; even a Fed Governor says some institutions are “too big to succeed“; it’s been a good week for Senator John Ensign; please, some freaking sanity about the Bush tax cuts!; close the Washington Monument; a strategy so simple even a Democrat can do it; I’m wondering why I canvassed for that man; and finally, Kim Jong-Il looking at things. Enjoy.
Close the Washington Monument huh? Okay. We may as well close the STATUE OF LIBERTY too, because at the rate we’re going we aren’t going to have any Liberty left. I have some bright ideas to further foul things up. We have ‘checkpoints’ at the airport, how about the trains …. including commuter trains. What about buses … school buses too, little Johnie might have a pocket knife or a piece of string to tie up the teacher! Then we have THE MALL! Do ’em there too, oh yeah … the grocery store … they sell KNIVES there! Restaurants will ONLY have plastic tableware, you can gnow your vittles offn’ the bone! “Waiter, can I get an extra napkin?”