Har Har Hardy Har Har

Today I was forwarded a hilarious item called “Classes for Women at the Adult Learning Center.” In it were such gems as the following:

• Up in Winter, Down in Summer – How to Adjust a Thermostat
• Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?
• Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase–Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
• How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program
• How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
• [And my personal favorite,] Health Watch–They Make Medicine for PMS – USE IT!

Oh ho ho! How amusing! Forward to all your guy friends! Try not to spray your monitor with beer!

Well, what’s good for the goose is indeed good for the gander. So in the interest of fairness I would like to flip the brochure over and look at possible classes for men (no offense intended to the many fine gentlemen I know that could easily teach these classes):

• Toilet Seats: the Three Critical Positions and When to Use Them
• How to Ask for Directions and Read Manuals (with lab)
• Etiquette for the Twenty First Century, or How to NOT get Slapped in Bars
• Psychology Seminar: Just because she’s talking doesn’t mean she wants you to tell her how to solve her problems
• Freeway Driving: It’s Not a Race to See Who Finishes First
• [and finally] Sexual Intercourse: It’s Not a Race to See Who Finishes First

Got any suggestions? Put them in comments.

The “it would be funny if it weren’t true” part? Today I had planned a post on the one thing Iran, Somalia, Sudan, Nauru, Palau, Tonga, and the United States have in common: they haven’t seen fit to ratify a treaty saying that women have human rights. Think about that just a moment — Saudi Arabia and Afghanistan have signed on, but the US hasn’t.

In Closing: confessions; caffeine and weapons; throw them in jail; submit or start driving; expert Ezra; back to the grassroots; Arizona boycott is working; obstruction; Advice for Kate Middleton; and skeptical.