Category: Shorties

Breaking the Shorties

Otherwise Occupied: the OWS movement may actually be getting somewhere. It was really a bad idea to seriously injure a Marine, because they are serious about Occupy. Someone who can’t tell the difference between an enemy who wants to hurt you and an innocent that does not want to hurt you shouldn’t be allowed to carry a gun. Don’t forget other ways to peacefully protest the banks.

Maybe that wasn’t a good idea: B of A is backing down from their boil-the-frog fees.

Be Sure to Double Check the Name: Attention conservatives! Even the CATO guys think medical malpractice damage caps are a bad idea. Last I heard, those guys were just barely less conservative than the Heritage Foundation.

Speaking of Cato: Cato Fellow and extremely talented magician/comedian Penn Jillette has risen to Glenn Beck’s challenge to write 10 Commandments for Atheists.

Speaking of Republicans Being Wrong: The freaking World Bank says they’re wrong about the economy. Regulation is not preventing job creation and it never did.

Not Helpful: yet more talk of a foreclosure fraud settlement proposal that gives the banks a slap on the wrists for trashing our housing values and preventing a meaningful economic recovery. On the other hand, maybe doing something about mortgage debt will help. Good luck making the banks suck that up.

Yeah, it’s the FIZZ and not the SUGARS: Teens who drink non-diet “fizzy drinks” more prone to violence. Note the careful use of the phrase non-diet instead of sweetened.

Strike: General Strike November 2. Don’t work, don’t spend money, don’t do anything taxable. If you must go to work, don’t spend money.

Now will you make a freaking MLS client that runs on Lion???:  Turns out Mac users are more productive. And that includes the time we spend finding workarounds for cludgy Windows only and MSIE only things we need for work! I’m talkin to you, Marketlinx! Don’t tell me “you’re aware of the problem” just fix it.

And Finally: Happy 125th Birthday to the Statue of Liberty.

 

Clive Barker’s SHORTIESRAISER

Ok!  Let’s clear some browser tabs!

Yahoo!: Not so excited about Wall Street protesters.

Anybody Surprised?: OnStar selling your data. But have no fear, they won’t give it to the FBI for free. Unless they ask sweetly.

To think I’ve been paying money for this: How to make your own ricotta.

Explain it again: seriously, how does lower taxes for wealthy individuals cause these guys to create jobs?

It was still the damned scopes: Desai will stand trail.

From the Archive of Great Headlines: Anonymous US Officials push open government (HT).

Drew hits the nail on the head: How some people think it’s obviously meant to read.

More missing good old days that were only good for wealthy white Protestant folks: colleges becoming increasingly unaffordable, and scholarships becoming increasingly scarce.

Don’t travel with cash: Unless you can afford to lose it.

We’re Number One!: In a bad way. Nevada leads the nation in domestic violence killings. Remember SafeNest.

Silence: At what point do we get noisy?

About the Ladies: Middle Class White Guy and crimes vs. reported crimes.

Wish I were surprised: Fewer than one in 4 people can correctly identify all 3 branches of our Government.

And last…

Oh Hai!: I brought you something!

 

Bikini Bloodbath Shorties

Where the heck does Hollywood keep coming up with absurd titles for horror movies? Anyways, on to the shorties.

It wouldn’t be Shorties without the Economy:  Yeah, turns out it is a recession if you stop playing games with inflation. Gee, really? Maybe that’s why the stock market is picking up their money and going home. Maybe if somebody were, oh, I don’t know, creating jobs.

Is it a coincidence that I’ve been invited to 2 protests that they won’t even tell me where it is until I RSVP?: Maybe, Maybe not.

Up, Up, and Away: in my beautiful 1940s aircraft.

People with Idiotic Ideas Aren’t News: You tell em, Senator.

From the Top: The Secretary of Education says that No Child Left Behind is a **** piece of **** and urges states to opt out of the money associated with implementing it. Gee, maybe “better” isn’t a standard.

Bloody Socialists: Turns out they have a few good ideas about the practice of medicine.

Speaking of medicine: The Duhpartment of Research is at it again.

Cyrus: Shorties of a Serial Killer

8 Years: Somehow I managed to overlook my Blogiversary.

Next time you have a hard time getting through to your doctor’s office: Remember that the Feds are tying up the line trying to figure out how hard it is for you to get an appointment.

He’s just so nice: Matt Damon is trying to find ways to help African people get clean, safe water. And he’s good looking, and he can act.

On Fitness: Ladies, please ignore the fact that it comes from a publication called “Men’s Journal.” The Truth is unisex.

Let’s Get This Out of the Way: Everybody knows that yet another appeals court says there’s no Constitutional problems with the Affordable Care Act, right? Ok, moving on then.

In other news, Bill Gates Doesn’t Understand Capitalism: Ignoring the diseases of poverty isn’t a failure, it’s a sign that there’s no money in it. That’s why it’s called “poverty.”

Shut up and get back to work!: Yeah, it sure would be nice to have paid sick days. I have no idea how you’d do that for those of us who are self-employed.

Professor is Correct Again: Cutting the budget deficit won’t put a single person to work. In fact, it will put some government employees out of work. It will also reduce GDP — which by definition includes government spending. Who are the President’s economic advisers? The ghost of Herbert Hoover? A least he understands that there is no way to balance the budget without taxes.

Computer Security: Don’t stick strange memory sticks in your computer! You don’t know where they’ve been! Stupidity makes hacking possible.

Missing Cute White Girl of the Week Club: Why it’s bad for all of us. Amen, brother.

Senator Bernie Sanders: Speaking Truth in a place where it has been lacking.

To those of you who just got out of medical school: Sage words of a Dinosaur.

Too Big To Fail: Simply must be Too Big To Exist.

Sahara: The sign is going to be at the Neon Museum.

Most expensive used car ever: A painstakingly restored 1963 Volkswagen Microbus.

Looking forward to it: Shatner‘s latest film is a documentary wherein he interviews all 5 actors who have played a Star Trek captain.

Speaking of documentaries: Everything you know is probably wrong.

Screw Infrastructure: Apparently it is more cost effective to build a bridge in China and have it shipped here. We won’t have any lasting recovery until we get away from the Latte Economy.

Tomorrow, I’ll have some exciting news for you. In the meantime, stay cool.

Red Riding Shorties

In other news, sky blue, water wet: The cable industry recognizes that poverty is as big threat to their subscriber base as Netflix.

Duhpartment of Research: What do cats do all day? Mostly sleep and rest.

World’s Oldest Known Museum: Turns out to have been in ancient Babylonia.

Views of Vegas: From the Strip and from one of the mountains north of town.

Couldn’t have anything to do with it: Worker’s share of national income is plunging faster than a supermodel’s neckline.

Congress Can’t Outlaw What They Aren’t Told About: surveillance programs go unnoticed. It’s a bad thing.

Cancer Needs Sugar to Survive: Low carb diets prevent cancer.

Sure Would Be Handy: Let’s see, we have lots of unemployed people, and we have roads to fix, schools to build, and lots of infrastucture that needs to be constructed or repaired. Gee, why don’t we try putting those things together??? Aw, that’s crazy talk.

If you say so: Has anybody come up with a really good use for these things? Lots of people say I need them and then they can’t explain why.

Can’t Resist: I know I said it earlier elsewhere, but HA HA! Righthaven smacked down! Yes, the source of that article was intentionally ironic.

I Saw the Shorties

I have got to get into the habit of little posts throughout the week. Today’s items are a little mind-blowing.

On Taxes and Debt: Two graphs.

On Inflation: Core rate is crazy.

Explains the Popularity of Certain People: Most people just don’t read books.

I wonder if they’ll remember this come fall: Americans want to nearly double fuel efficiency standards.

Danger, Mistress: Alert the Doctor, Sarah Jane has been traveling solo.

Sadly, probably not a world record: One man eats 25,000 Bic Macs over 13,800 days. I feel bloated just thinking about it.

Speaking of bloating: 513 illegal immigrants in 2 trucks.

Sure, that’s your money, but you can’t have it! You’d just spend it on food and shelter: The Senate wants to “save” you from spending your own 401k funds in an emergency.

Record Used Car Prices: and it’s not just “Cash for Clunkers” that got us here, but the recession and Japan’s earthquake/tsunami issues.

“Banks Say Simpler Mortgage Form Could ‘Stifle’ New Products”: by “stifle“, they mean “make it harder to trick you into getting a mortgage that will gradually strangle your finances.”

On living within your means: If it weren’t for credit cards, the American economy would suck even worse.

On Bid Laden’s Security: It involved about 100 flash drives.

Millenials Have No Clue: They think that they are precious snowflakes that deserve jobs, despite reality.

If you’re going to be out of town for a while, make sure somebody is watching your place: you never know when somebody might set up a brothel inside.

Reid Dares Them: Yeah, go ahead and vote to gut Medicare. Do it. I dare you.

Huh?: Obama says Israel needs to go back to its 1967 borders and like it?? Oy, that will put some people in a tizzy.

Here’s a Hint, Janet: Stop treating us all like criminals. Enough with the nudie scanners. Enough with the probulators. Enough with confiscating our water bottles while letting real threats through. Enough with the Do Not Fly list and other shit that doesn’t keep us safe.

That is all.

Tucker and Shorties vs Evil

Inspirational Story of the Day: Teen disappointed that he didn’t make the soccer team, so he loses 60 pounds and deadlifts 308 pounds. There are lots of things you can do if you want to badly enough.

Um, Yeah: I can see where meeting a co-worker in such a place might be bothersome. Just say “but it’s the Wall Street Journal! I thought it was business news!” if you get caught reading that at work.

Hi-Ho Silver! Away!: Now might be a good time to sell?

That’s a Good Point: Charity and God may go well together, but not always.

What Would Your Doctor Do?: Say no to nudie-scanners.

Let’s just put all this economic news in one spot: First, we’ve got payroll numbers, which are “rising” but at too slow a pace. Campaign for America’s Future reminds us that “it’s the economy, stupid” and “Americans want government to play a larger role in economic recovery.” Because big business doesn’t give a damn; after all there’s an entire rest of the world to exploit. Tiger Beatdown has a nice item on the ongoing class war that nobody [wealthy] wants to talk about. Meanwhile, more and more families are feeding their families with help from food stamps. Inflation is going to make things even worse for those of us who aren’t millionaires. Tim Iacono points out that the savings rate is even worse that we think. Teen joblessness may reach record levels this summer — which means expect idle teens to find ways to get into trouble. People are defaulting on their student loans. But hey, at least small businesses are borrowing money; maybe they’ll actually hire people.

How interesting: So with gas prices what they are and our nation importing oil, American oil companies are exporting more oil than they sell here! And best of all they are sucking down American tax dollars at the same time!

Even Shutting It is Controversial: Yucca Mountain. I guess some good padlocks aren’t sufficient, eh?

Fortune is Right: What good is a consumer protection agency that can’t protect? If Congress waters down consumer protections, or Elizabeth Warren doesn’t get to head the CFPB, you will know that our lawmakers have sold our souls to the banksters that ripped us off.

Susan’s Got a Point: It is called “special education” for a reason.

Eric Holder’s Vow is Worthless: Back in 2009 he vowed to stop raids on medical marijuana facilities (yeah, I’m no HuffPo fan, but the only better link was NYT). But I guess whatever forces really control the War On Drugs Used By Poor And/Or Brown People told him how stuff is: his office has warned states that they will prosecute anyone they think they can prosecute for medical marijuana. Never mind what the people think. Their opinion only counts on election day, after all.

The More Things Change, the More They Stay the Same: Marie Osmond celebrated her wedding to her third husband… who just happened to have been her first husband. She even got to recycle her original wedding gown. Thanks, NutriSystem!

Shorties Highway

A few things about the Economy: Standard of Living; broke; working for nothing.

Wonder Wonder, Wonder Woman!: The History of the Universe as told by Wonder Woman.

Is it time to stop?: I don’t know.

Um, Yeah: Stock photos.

A sign of the Catpocalypse: Hello Kitty Hell tells you to buy Hello Kitty stuff by the 31st to support earthquake and tsunami relief.

A few things about Politics: Dems, Ur Doin It Wrong; Budget; Tax the Super Rich or Face a Revolution; Tom Hartmann.

Springtime in Vegas: Mojave Max says so.

Adapting: Sake.

And now for something cute: Smokey the Purring Cat. I bet that will wake you in the middle of the night!

Canibal Shorties

Pesky Government Regulations: Saved lives.

A question of scale: Nope, not toys. It does make you wonder how big a quake caused this.

Tell me why we do this every Spring and Fall again: Not even cows like Daylight Savings Time.

They say they want to save money, then they prevent us from doing it: comparative effectiveness review and Medicare.

Doin It Live!: Public database for safety complaints.

Seriously?: Apparently I live in a dangerous Spring Break destination. Sorry, I’m not feeling it. Oh, I should probably say something about the Sahara closing down in a couple of months, but I’ll let Steve do it.

I love seeing a genuine economist say this: “Ayn Rand Is Full of Crap.” He has to point out that she wrote fiction.

That’s a real diet buster: It’s easier than you might think to eat a 2000 calorie meal at In-N-Out.

We’re off to a great start: 31 Most Ridiculous Quotes of 2011 So Far.

A New Political Party?: The People‘s Party.

Granny’s gonna live longer anyway: on the demographics of the employed and unemployed.

So Be It?: We may have added 222,000 private sector jobs last month, but massive government budget cutting may delete 710,000 old jobs. Can we afford that kind of budget cutting?

Wasn’t Universal Failure the Goal?: 82% of public schools may eventually be “failing,” even ones that by every other measure perform well. That’s what happens when “better” is your only goal.

A Nobel Winning Economist Isn’t Good Enough: for the Federal Reserve.

Flashbang: Potentially deadly against cops, deadly against suspects, deadly against the innocent.

She’s baaaaaack!: Sharron Angle.

Confused: If terraists can allegedly turn the oxygen masks in a plane into a weapon, why can’t terraists do it from their seats?

Only in Vegas: Ladies and gentlemen, the Chip Monk.

Mulholland Shorties

Was I Wrong About Rahm?: He’s not even sworn in yet, and he’s announced that something he wants to do is enlarge a good old-fashioned public works project! Granted, it’s just bike lanes, but it will put people to work and help other people get around when it’s done.

Food Insecurity is just a fancy word for Going Hungry: Here’s a viewpoint from somebody who once had to endure it. It turns out there are a lot of issues in play.

So You Want to be a Revolutionary: This man wrote a book about non-violent revolution. There’s a link to the PDF, which is credited with change around the world.

Income Inequality: When people in other nations notice it, it’s bad. If that has too many words, this one has lots of pretty pictures. Here’s more.

Release the Hounds: An Indiana Deputy Attorney General suggested using live ammunition on protesters in Wisconsin. Thankfully, he didn’t have the authority to order such a thing. But sanity did prevail: he is now unemployed on the grounds that a man in his position must demonstrate civility.

Speaking of Shafting the People who Teach Your Kids: Providence just sent lay-off notices to each and every teacher. They will decide later who actually gets the axe. Way to promote morale! And just a reminder, the average teacher in Wisconsin makes less than the Wisconsin median income.

Your Insurance Company Believes in Global Climate Change: Because 2010 was one of the worst years for climate disasters ever! That would include things like storms. Oh, and I sure hope those of you in San Francisco enjoy the expected snow.

Too Big to Fail is Too Big to Exist: Seriously, even people from the Fed say so.

Making the Situation Worse: Banks are moving branches from poor neighborhoods to wealthy ones — despite laws requiring them to serve the entire community. In this vacuum, payday lenders and check cashing businesses spring up out of need. And did you know that one in nine banks is in danger of collapse?

Some People Have Never Heard of the First Amendment: Some people think you can outlaw “shariah.”

Who Knew: It turns out Americans like having clean air and water.

Priceless: It turns out you can download sheet music of the classics for free. Mozart’s copyright rights are long since expired.

Truth in Comics: Drew and Bors.

Can we Stop Calling it the Party of Lincoln?: It turns out President Lincoln would disagree with almost everything the current Republican party stands for.

They Really Would Prefer All Women were Pregnant: No word on whether they think we should be allowed to wear shoes.

Plastic Tubes and Pots and Pans, Bits and Pieces: Kids need to do more science.

Batshit Crazy: Qaddafi.

The Only Evidence that I am “Moderate”: I’m clearly somewhere between these two crazy extremes. Honestly, I think of myself as left of center. You know I think that the banks are the root cause of much of our current economic woes, but it would be childish to assert that “Wall Street causes all bad things.”

Placebo: Dogs just want to please their masters. That’s why drug sniffing dogs only have an accuracy rate of 44%. That rate drops to 27% when the person in question is Hispanic.

Lily the Pink: Or, Who Knew Moldovans Drank So Much?

Advice for Democrats: Stop using the Republican’s terminology! I want to scream every time i hear one of you talk about the “death tax” or “tax reform” or “Obamacare” or “Social Security reform.” For pity sake, all these things have names that don’t admit that their way of looking at it is correct!

What Happens When This One Pops?: College textbook price bubble.