The events I will describe are true. If WAMU would like to comment on this entry, their representative should contact me. Once I have verified the origin of such comments and the authority of the representative to send such comments to my satisfaction, I will gladly post their reply in an update to this post.
I have been a customer of Washington Mutual Bank for about 5 years now. I have had business and personal accounts; I have had accounts in two states. The nice people at the Harbour Pointe Banking Center have been very helpful, in particular a young man named Kyle.
However, since I have moved back to Nevada, it is a good idea to change my banking accounts to Nevada accounts. We have been through this before, and do not want to hear things like “I’m sorry, there’s a 5 day hold on your paycheck because it’s from out of state” or “I’m sorry, I can’t process a cashier’s check in that amount because you have an out of state account.” Problems like this are why we changed from
Bank of America 5 years ago. Well, that and charging me $0.25 to talk to customer service “too many” times and clear up a problem caused by their error.
So this morning I assembled all the various documents I would need to open a new checking account at the WAMU branch just 5 minutes away. To my delight, they were actually open a few minutes before their stated opening time of 9 AM. Within moments we were talking to a customer service representative, one of those folks we used to call a “bank teller”.
This representative told us that no, there was no need to open a new account. Not only would there be no problem continuing to bank using our old account, there would be no problems with checks and so forth (not even with the pizza guy? I think not!), but opening a new account would in essence be starting “a new banking relationship” and they would have to treat us as a brand new (implying “untrustworthy”) customer. We were furthermore told that the only services she could not do for us right there on the spot was address changes and ordering checks.
Ok, now remember that after a cross country move, two things I desperately need are to change my address with the bank, and get checks that reflect that address.
To do those things, all I need is to make a “quick call to customer service.”
I’ve had the occasion to talk to customer service over the years, and “quick” is never a word I would use to describe the experience.
But nevertheless, I went home and poured a cup of coffee and grabbed the telephone. It was now about 9:15 AM. After navigating an arcane voice-routing system, punching in my account number, giving it a phone password I didn’t even know I had, it insisted on giving me my balances before offering me any opportunity to speak with a human. Hint: just because a particular kind of information is commonly needed doesn’t mean everybody needs it every call before dealing with every problem.
I finally got to talk to a human. As nearly as I can tell, this human was Charlie Brown’s teacher. If calls really are recorded, some supervisor will hear me say multiple times “I’m sorry, I can’t understand what you are saying.” All I could hear was a woman’s voice and lots of background noise. It was as if she’d called in from one of those trendy restaurants that are way too loud so patrons will eat and leave right away. I finally told her that something was clearly wrong and I would call again.
I hung up and called again. Again the punch this number and that and listening to my balance which has not changed in the last 5 minutes and don’t I want my 5 most recent transactions…. At least these calls are toll free. For me anyway; who knows what this costs them every phone call.
Human Two was at least understandable. I explained that I needed two things today, and the first thing was to change my address. She told me that was fine, but it would take 30 days for the address change to go into effect, and in the meantime I would not be able to do things like order checks.
Um, that’s the second thing I needed to do.
She replied: Oh, If I need this done right away I could do it at my branch bank (where they just told me I need to call customer service).
She continues: Or I could do it instantly online, and then call her back to order checks.
So let me get this straight, if I change my address with customer service it takes 30 days, but if I do it instantly online then I have to order checks from customer service?
She replies: No, you can order checks online too.
Ok fine thanks for your [lack of] help I’ll go do that now. Click.
But wait! There’s a punchline!
By now it was past 9:30, not quite 9:45. I calmly walked over to my computer and logged into my online account. After a minute or so, I found the “change address” option buried in the “change personal information” section. I punched in my information and clicked the box marked “NEXT”.
A moment later, my computer screen informed me that this service was not available at this time, and that I should call customer service.
That’s when I screamed in frustration.
I spent the rest of my morning shopping for a new bank. I’m going with one that has competitve products/rates, and posts the phone numbers of individual branches on their website. When I called, the phone was picked up on the second ring by a human. No voicemail tree, no requests for my account number (which I don’t have yet), no press-this-to-get-that. Within 30 seconds I was talking to a New Accounts Specialist who told me all about the features of the various accounts they offered, asking helpful questions to eliminate products that would not suit my needs. She told me about branch locations, and pointed out that as a full service bank they had additional offerings such as investments and mortgages. WAMU could learn a lot from Colonial Bank.
In closing: It’s ok for a General to say Iraq must live with “sensational” attacks, but it wasn’t ok for John Kerry to talk about reducing terrorism to “nuisance” levels, go figure; The FDA knew about food that could kill us and did nothing; eventually I will get around to my own thoughts on the 9th Amendment; welcome back to the ’50s, a radio station is ditching traditional commercial spots in favor of sponsored hours of programming; fossil filter, fossilized rain forest and mystery fossil turns out to be a giant fungus; bad legislation on the horizon, “Let’s sum up. If the Spy Act become law, hardware, software, and network vendors will be granted carte blanche to use spyware themselves to police their customers’ use of their products and services. Incredibly broad exceptions will probably allow even the worst of the adware outfits to operate with legal cover. State attempts to deal with the spyware problem will be pre-empted and enforcement left up almost entirely to the FTC”; here’s a list of 50 places where you will probably never eat; must read item, 10 steps to fascism; clever wording, Muslims show only partial support for Al Queda rather than no support at all; I hate to agree with rightwingnews.com, but he’s right…. er, correct; someone who may have figured out why free trade isn’t a panacea; turnabout, a religious group says that if they want God in their personal reproductive issues, they will ask Him!; if you ever thought that what you got at the end of the fast food line didn’t look like what you wanted, you need fast food ads vs reality; a must bookmark item, how to reach a human in a voicemail maze and finally, How to Prepare for an Alien Invasion.
Wah-moo… sounds like the horn on my kid’s trike.
Say, I didn’t see Popeye’s on the list!
So why are they ignoring the zombies? There’s more than one threat out there.
In case it isn’t apparent, my last post was tongue in cheek.
You cracked me up, Spiiderweb!
i guess you should have looked at the list BEFORE calling the bank… I usually choose the “new customer” option for any automated menu because most companies will greedily take calls from fresh blood before dealing with the problems (and the dillution of profit) of existing customers.
I don’t recall “new customer” having been an option. One thing I can tell you for certain is that the first thing the Wells Fargo customer service number wants is an account number. Needless to say, since I was trying to get information on account types, I didn’t have one and couldn’t talk to a human. Sure, I could have punched through the system, but if they are making it that hard to find out about products, I guess they don’t want new customers.
Just press 0 instead of going through the “tree”. Also, when shopping for a new bank, call the number and see if you can get through with 0. If it doesn’t work, move on to another.
The ability to talk to a real human says a lot about how they plan on treating you.
Christopher,
By the time I realized I needed a way to break the phone tree, it was too late, alas.
My new bank doesn’t even have voicemail; all phones are answered by humans at all times, and according to the nice lady in “new accounts” they are in trouble if corporate catches them letting it go beyond 3 rings before answering.
I didn’t even mention the bank that put me on hold for 5 minutes while “customer service” looked up information about account types. I already had the info from their website — it only took half a minute — but I wanted to see how responsive and knowledgeable the customer service reps were. Um yeah, why isn’t info like that on a laminated card on your desk, sweetie?
WAMU may be the worst bank since the institution was invented.
I should have taken a hint when I made my initial deposit with one of their Orlando branches. They would not credit the deposit check for 10 days.
Their ATMs are broken. A lot.
I had one seize my ATM card the other day, called them, had them “hold it,” they said they would. They didn’t. They killed it out, and sometime in the next few months (WAMU’s very of “speedy service”), I fully hope to get a replacement.
Their customer service phone prompts put you through a ringer that resembles Chinese Water torture.
Their website knocks you out before you’re done, and then locks itself so you can’t get back in. A lot. I was just checking there in order to get the balance and close the account. Can’t even do that now.
I have banked in seven states with about a dozen institutions. They are the most inept I have ever encountered.