This time it’s The Beach Trees. Go check it out!
In Closing: The Burger Economy; bang; Amen; Social Security; Dodd-Frank; hold on to your hats; credit; thank goodness somebody is telling the truth; it turns out that “green” technology employs more people than the oil or gas industries; nudie scanners getting less nude (still bombarding you with radiation!); and tea ceremony.
Thank heaven for Alan Grayson and — still! — Howard Dean. Harry Reid? Not so much.
If you don’t read Toothpaste for Dinner, you should!
In closing: 10 ways to get fat; pretty pictures; revisionist “history” (go ahead and read the Constitution, Newt); fearmongering; reality check. Sorry, I’m just not feeling like a long post right now.
Ok, seriously. Our obsession with terrorism has veered off into paranoia.
Two unidentified “U.S. security officials” says we need to be afraid of terrorists with implanted explosives, and the TSA director agrees that this is a possible concern — adding that there’s not a damn thing even the nudie scanners and patdowns that violate some states’ sexual assault laws can do about it.
Never mind the fact that such a bomb is much more likely to shower bystanders with gore than actually kill them. Don’t let reality stand in the way of losing some more civil liberties; after all it’s for our safety!
Right?
In Closing: more than you really wanted to know about the fake budget crisis, the economy, Republicans, and how politicians plan to screw you out of Social Security; Heinlein; stupid products for children; and camels at the oasis.
Can we please all stop with the name-calling?
Seriously, I don’t care if you’re liberal or conservative, we need to stop hurling around insulting names. It doesn’t do a bit of good, certainly doesn’t persuade anyone to your way of thinking, and it makes everyone who agrees with you look like an asshole.
I’m tired of hearing about Mooselini, the Chimpinator, McLame, Speaker Boner, Rummy, General Betray-us, Tweetie, Slick Willy, George Snuffleupagus, the O-Bomber, Wiener’s wiener, Rahmstein, Bachman-Poptart-Underdrive, Al Frankenstein, the Koch-heads, Dumb-o-craps, Repuglicants, MoDoDo, GingGrinch, and any other creative insults you can think of. Can’t we refer to people with their names and/or titles like civilized adults? “The President,” or “Senator So-and-so”, or “Mr. Clark”?
Now, I will concede a handful of exceptions. The Governator earned his nickname fair and square. So did “Heckuva Job” Brownie — the President himself gave him that nickname. To refer to Pat “Go F*** Yourself” Leahy is a compliment to his restraint. The Cyborg Dick Cheney, well, he is a cyborg.
The rest of it? Knock it off, already! It’s a distraction from real issues, like our eroding Constitutional rights, the developing American oligarchy, the endangered social safety net, the disappearing middle class, our crumbling infrastructure, the failed War on Drugs; our anemic economy, and the elimination of women‘s rights.
In Closing: Dam, dam, dam; Hollywood‘s out of ideas; the most sensible thing I’ve read about the Wal-Mart ruling; it’s a good start; and exercises at work.
If you’ve noticed that a bunch of your favorite blogs that usually update every day don’t have new posts, there’s a reason. I have it on good authority that Blogger is down. This good authority goes on to wonder how “fun” it would be to have a cloud computing outage when trying to get work done.
In Closing: Nat Geo decides they don’t want any trouble with the Yakuza; dead terrorist; happy; reality; new thing to do in Vegas (no gambling or drinking required); homeless in Vegas; scrutiny; states‘ rights; McCain regains sanity; awwww; reading; kids are capable when we let them be; on immigration; Social Security; and does Michelle Bachmann know more than a high schooler?
I am completely disgusted with pretty much all politicians, and even more so with politicians that try to position themselves as “I’m a [insert noun] first, not just another politician.” Those ones are dangerous because half the time they don’t understand what the heck they are dealing with. I’m talking to you, Dr. Joe Heck!
I’m tired of politicians who think we can balance the budget without increasing taxes.
I’m tired of politicians who think we can balance the budget without addressing our 2 1/2 wars.
I’m tired of politicians who think that just because I’m not 55 yet, I just need to kiss Social Security goodbye.
I’m tired of politicians who are so ignorant of history that they think there can be a “private sector” solution to Medicare.
I’m tired of politicians who use the phrase “death tax,” when only a few thousand people will ever pay it.
I’m tired of politicians who use coded words to whip the ignorant into a frenzy. (“Domestic enemy”? Why not just call him Satan or the Anti-Christ? What a shame that you really mean he’s an “uppity ******”!)
And most of all, I’m tired of the other politicians who won’t call them out on this nonsense. Don’t even get me started on the media that lets them lie on the air and call it the truth.
Go ahead. Close down the government. Do it! Do it right at “tax day” and completely screw yourselves.
In Closing: defense; a man and his boat; two takes on dessert sushi; WHY??; if you won’t stop for humane reasons, or justice reasons, how about fiscal reasons?; about time; I like Kathy; it’s all about cheap labor; gaming inflation through housing prices; if you haven’t heard about the real Tea Party yet, watch it today; resist BAMTOR; I knew this would happen! Throw the book at them!; and a picture of a random cat. If anybody knows the source, put it in comments so I can attribute it:
The President keeps talking about making the hard budget decisions that families make around their kitchen tables. Let’s turn that table.
Once upon a time — ok, long about 2001 — there was a family that was finally coming up for air. Once they paid off their bills each month, there was actually money left over. Of course, they were still making the minimum payment on all their credit cards, and they still had mortgages and car payments and all the little expenses of suburbia. And like most Americans, they didn’t have nearly enough money saved for retirement. Nevertheless, this little budget surplus was a big deal!
They thought for several months about what to do with this extra money: Pay down the credit cards? Put it in the retirement account? Buy a boat? In the end, they decided to cut back on their hours at work so they could use the extra time to pursue a dream: an online business selling homemade wicker baskets. (A real basket case!)
Years passed.
The economy went sour. It turned out that not only did they really not have enough patience to spend all their free time making wicker baskets, but few people wanted one for the price. After all, cheap, Asian made wicker baskets are available lots of places. They had a couple babies. A raise they were expecting didn’t pan out. They ended up underwater on their house — thankfully not New Orleans style. One of the cars needed a new transmission, and it wasn’t under warranty. The water heater at the house had to be replaced.
And not surprisingly, their debts went up. Finally, those debts got to the point where they got alarmed and decided something had to be done.
So they got a free consultation with a financial adviser down at the bank. “Free” was a price they could afford!
The adviser confirmed that their situation was completely unsustainable, because at some point they would reach the limit on their credit cards. Visa and Master Card were unlikely to extend them more credit at this point, and there was no equity in the house for a loan. However, bankruptcy was simply not an option. So, the adviser asked, what have you thought about doing to get back on track again?
“Well,” answered the woman of the house, “We’re thinking of getting out of the house and renting a cheap apartment. And we might get rid of the cars. Cable TV has gotta go, and even though the kids love Sesame Street, we’re going to have to stop giving to PBS.”
“Let them get commercial sponsors like everyone else!” the man of the house interrupted.
“Actually we’re going to have to stop all donations, even giving clothing to Goodwill. After all you never know when something’s going to be handy. No more discretionary shopping, of course” the woman of the house continued.
“Oh, and one more thing,” the man of the house announced, ” she’s gonna stop taking birth control pills. That’s another $20 copay every month!”
“Um, ok,” said the adviser, and he looked down at the notes he had been scribbling while they talked. “Let’s think this through. I don’t know if you’ve priced apartments lately, but I think you’ll find you won’t save very much. Particularly once you figure in the mortgage interest tax deduction. Plus a foreclosure will show up on your credit report and could make trouble for you at work.”
“Nobody said foreclosure! Just send the bank the **** keys!” the man shouted.
“That’s called deed in lieu of foreclosure. It’s pretty close to the same thing. Now, about the cars. Why do you want to get rid of them?”
“Well, there’s the payments of course. And gas is so expensive. And then there’s repairs and oil changes and things like that,” the woman answered.
“I see,” said the adviser. “If you sell them, how will you get to work every day?”
There was a silence. The man and the woman looked at one another for a moment, and stammered something about walking and the bus.
“Let’s move on,” the adviser suggested. “I think you’re on to something cutting cable, but that’s still not much money. So, uh, what other shows do the kids like?”
“Oh, our oldest loves Pokemon!”
“Bugs you to buy cards for him all the time, doesn’t he?”
“Oh yes!”
“Do you really want Sesame Street to have commercials?”
“Well, when you put it that way, I guess not.”
“Ok then. No donations doesn’t hurt anything, but it’s not helping you either. And remember, you can take a tax deduction on stuff you give away, so you might reconsider that one too.” The advisor took one more look at his notes before going on, “Have you discussed the birth control together, before today?”
“She’s my wife and I can make decisions for us!” The man announced.
“Well, that’s between the two of you, but have you considered how expensive it would be for her to get pregnant again? You could have thousands of dollars in expenses! It seems to me that $20 a month is a bargain.”
“That’s right, dear,” the woman said, glaring at her husband.
The adviser sighed, then said “Look, these are all very interesting ideas, but even if you add them all up that’s just a teeny bit of your budget. And we haven’t even talked about the fact that you don’t have nearly enough in your retirement accounts, and you have absolutely nothing put aside for your kids’ education.”
“What are we going to do?” the woman asked. Now she was starting to panic.
“You’re going to have to get some more income. Is there any chance of getting more hours at work?”
Sheepishly, the man admitted “My supervisor offered me more hours just a couple months ago. But I turned him down. After all, if I take those hours I won’t have time for our wicker basket business. I’m investing in the future! Someday those wicker baskets will mean I don’t need that job anymore.”
“That’s interesting. How long have you been in the wicker basket business?”
“Nine years.”
“Really? How much money did it bring in last year?”
The man started to stammer about the recession, but the woman cut in, saying “Net profit of $99.12.”
“Seriously? Oh come on, you’ve got to be kidding me. Nine years building a business and all you’ve got to show for it is a profit of $99.12? You know that at your hourly wage, you can earn that in a day?”
The man looked at his hands in his lap. The woman glared at him.
Finally the adviser spoke: “If you are serious about digging yourself out of this financial hole, you need more work. I’ll help you out, but not until you get those hours back. If you’ll excuse me, I have other clients waiting.”
In Closing: one more time, if your job requires you to do something that goes against your conscience, quit!; WI and more WI; middle class incomes going down; talk about the wrong guy to hassle; and about time somebody did the right thing.
The man who revolutionized exercise in America, Jack LaLanne, died yesterday at the age of 96. He performed several spectacular public stunts, set world records, had a popular exercise show for decades, preached weight-bearing exercise and healthy eating, owned health clubs, and invented a bit of equipment you’ll find in every serious gym, the Smith Machine (click there to find out why it’s called the “Smith”machine instead of the LaLanne Machine). Oh, and although I can’t find signs that he practiced, he was a Chiropractor (it was probably the most efficient way to learn anatomy and physiology for him).
Rest in peace. I do hope some of today’s fitness superstars have enough class to attend his funeral.
Follow-Up: Steve Edwards (the other guy behind P90X) did this item.
In closing: coincidence; why not just troll Google Street-View for evidence?; rehab; truth; regulations; and Reich is right correct.
Surely the nice folks at Old Navy just choose a bad place for the maternity mannequins. Or maybe this is a commentary on childhood obesity!
In Closing: I know I packed it; food by state; claiming profit on money never paid; Dog Fort; WTF; Con, duh; safety net; science; wolves; the truth about buying a smart phone; lost daughter; Peach and Zelda; love story; begging; nachos; how to read a legal opinion; consensus; on birth control.
Dead Zombie Horse: a few thoughts on health insurance reform. And Immaculate Infection.
Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree: you make a fine fish habitat.
Laughing all the way to the bank: Only $3 billion? Pshaw! Let me get my checkbook.
Speaking of Banks: FDIC may sue executives of failed banks to try and get some of their money back. Oh and if we won’t do anything about too big to fail, Europe will.
Just Call Him Phoenix: a real life superhero in Seattle.
Nice: The Westin St. Francis washes every coin it receives.
Nuts: the rift between environmentally conscious Christians and nutjobs who think Jesus will just fix the environment.
The Dude Abides: Well no, it’s really just Jeff Bridges.
Obligatory January Weight Items: most Americans think their weight and dietary habits are just fine, thank you. Here’s the 8 worst diet and fitness fads of 2010. And for the motivated, a kick-start workout guide (don’t forget to eat healthy foods in moderate quantities!)
On Poverty: officially and in reality. At least it’s creating jobs at Dollar General, for what it’s worth.
Nevertheless: I hope you never need to know this information.
On Republicans: Go ahead and read the Constitution. How do they get away with telling the same lies so much we start to believe it’s true? Three Cups of Tea (tell ’em, Howard!). Hey big businesses, what laws do you want to not follow anymore? Guide to Governance. The sane people are concerned. And an open letter.
On all the other parties: Ha! Seriously though, I’d like to see a big, televised debate between party leaders of all these “third parties,” live during prime time. It would be a great laugh (have you ever read some of the published party platforms??), and the few good ideas will get picked up by someone who can run with it.
Delicious: Bison.
Oops: I mean oats.
Immigration Reform: it’s more complicated than putting up a fence.
Images: ranging from merely amusing to mind-blowing.
Welcome to 2011.