Didn’t Even Need Scooby Doo

Ladies and gentlemen, the reason that GDP looks fine while to the rest of us the economy looks like a rusted out Ford Escort with a leaky power steering pump and a transmission that slips now and then: A typical hedge fund manager, in just one hour, “earns” what it would take you or I 47 years to accumulate. And at the end of the day, he doesn’t even make anything as useful or durable as a latte. After all, he did not cause the money he “makes” to come into being, only to come into his pocket. Even better yet, if you were to close one simple tax loophole, the top 25 of them would pay an additional $4,400,000,000 in taxes.

When even the IMF notices that we’ve got an income inequality problem in this country, you know it’s really bad.

In Closing: even Republicans think it’s a bad idea to slash Medicare; yeah, that could be why they’re fat; truly sad; stereotype theatre; I notice that sunshine and fortified milk are not on this list; the long version; riffing on a theme; caffeine!; oh yeah, that‘s gonna help; truth; incompetent photoshop tricks; better than it could have been; just in case you ever wondered what they ate; soldier fitness; have a Koch and a smile.

Canibal Shorties

Pesky Government Regulations: Saved lives.

A question of scale: Nope, not toys. It does make you wonder how big a quake caused this.

Tell me why we do this every Spring and Fall again: Not even cows like Daylight Savings Time.

They say they want to save money, then they prevent us from doing it: comparative effectiveness review and Medicare.

Doin It Live!: Public database for safety complaints.

Seriously?: Apparently I live in a dangerous Spring Break destination. Sorry, I’m not feeling it. Oh, I should probably say something about the Sahara closing down in a couple of months, but I’ll let Steve do it.

I love seeing a genuine economist say this: “Ayn Rand Is Full of Crap.” He has to point out that she wrote fiction.

That’s a real diet buster: It’s easier than you might think to eat a 2000 calorie meal at In-N-Out.

We’re off to a great start: 31 Most Ridiculous Quotes of 2011 So Far.

A New Political Party?: The People‘s Party.

Granny’s gonna live longer anyway: on the demographics of the employed and unemployed.

So Be It?: We may have added 222,000 private sector jobs last month, but massive government budget cutting may delete 710,000 old jobs. Can we afford that kind of budget cutting?

Wasn’t Universal Failure the Goal?: 82% of public schools may eventually be “failing,” even ones that by every other measure perform well. That’s what happens when “better” is your only goal.

A Nobel Winning Economist Isn’t Good Enough: for the Federal Reserve.

Flashbang: Potentially deadly against cops, deadly against suspects, deadly against the innocent.

She’s baaaaaack!: Sharron Angle.

Confused: If terraists can allegedly turn the oxygen masks in a plane into a weapon, why can’t terraists do it from their seats?

Only in Vegas: Ladies and gentlemen, the Chip Monk.

The Post on the Host

It seems that March’s second day
is a special birthing day,
for Dr. Seuss of children’s lore
joined our world in Nineteen Four!

Should I, could I make a cake?
That’s fattening, for goodness sake!
Maybe I should write a poem
Though, truth is, I didn’t know him.

You could go to a memorial,
or to a library for a tutorial.
Perhaps Seussville seems like fun
(think so? You’re not the only one!)

Perhaps we could slice up some rare, Who roast beast,
with Green Eggs and Ham for a tasty feast!
Could wacky Wikis be your speed?
Or should we just sit down… and read?

In closing: Canadians prefer their news be made of truth; on taxes; uh, bad idea; so be it; which version do you like better?; ok, that sounds like a spending cut I can support; Timmy stamps his foot; right to work; too much sugar still isn’t good for you; unclear on how the government gets revenue; I saw the news today, oh boy; we’re doin it wrong; and time warp.

This Just In

51% of Republicans polled are batshit crazy still think the President needs to show his original birth certificate.

Now here’s the thing. Go ahead and call the records office of the county where you were born. Tell them you need a copy of your birth certificate. It might cost you $10. I am willing to bet that 9 out of 10 of you will end up with a fresh computer printout of your birth certificate, rather than a certified copy of the “original” one with the signature of the doctor who delivered you. So by wingnut standards, you can’t prove you were born in the United States.

Furthermore, Hawaii is part of the United States. If you don’t know this, you really shouldn’t be allowed to vote.

And don’t even get me started on Boehner and the Budget. As Ezra Klein said on NPR this morning, if anybody in Washington were serious about cutting the deficit, they wouldn’t have extended the Bush tax cuts!

In Closing: 7 kinds of malicious hackers; truth; crime victims need not apply?; Susie‘s right; the House may have shoved it through, but the Senate can still stop the PATRIOT Act from being renewed; please tell me this was no shock; taking Kate to task; collider; and lessons of Star Wars.

Too Mad to Write about Politics

Seriously. If I write about any of the crap spewing from Washington — whether from Congress, Timmy Geithner, or our gutless President who is more conservative than Nixon or Reagan — I’m likely to say something regrettable. So here’s what some other people have to say. As it is, I use a little more salty language than normal, so deal with it.

Here’s something on the U.S. Chamber of Commerce. You know, the group of fatcat businessmen that President Obama was begging to create jobs? What a bunch of “greedy fucks.”

Here’s what an 11 year old girl has to say about Gitmo. Notice where she admits that some of her information may be biased? I have hope for the critical thinking skills of the next generation, somewhat less hope that the War on Terror will ever end.

There’s a lot to be said about Egypt today. How about we start with a picture:
Bill Day

But really, this sums up my thoughts well.

There’s really a lot to say about the Anti-Woman forces calling themselves “Pro-Life”, but I’ll let Nancy start the parade. Remember, HR3 has a much wider reach than most people know. That’s even before we start talking about conscience clauses that would allow ignorant ******* to turn people away whose pregnancies can kill them. That’s before we talk about the fact that if these ******** had their way, women whose “babies” would be born with fatal birth defects would be forced to carry that corpse to term, endure dozens of well meaning people asking “Is it a boy or a girl? Have you picked a name??”, go through all the complications of pregnancy including the possibility of death in labor, all so some ******** can pretend he — and I do mean HE — is preventing abortions. People who think that is acceptable can rot in hell. Republicans want to cut family planning too, so we know they don’t really give a damn about preventing abortions.

Here’s something on states declaring bankruptcy to get out of paying people the retirement funds they were promised — and remember, state employees pay no Social Security taxes, so those pensions may be all they’ve got.

Speaking of bankruptcy, here’s something on how the bankruptcy “reform” of a few years back contributed to the foreclosure mess.

Nobody seems to remember that almost all regulations are put in place to protect somebody. Of course it’s dumb to say that regulations are automatically “job killing.” If the people whining about “job killing” gave a shit about jobs, maybe they wouldn’t be trying to cut and gut jobs programs! Here’s an urgent message for our elected officials: JOBS are still the number one issue on Americans’ minds. Put people to work, and some of the other problems — national deficit, social security, foreclosures — might start to fix themselves.

But this one really makes me mad. Ornery has it right when he calls the move to cut emergency funding for heating in the middle of a colder than average winter “so fucking tone deaf it boggles my fucking mind.” Heaven forbid we should raise taxes on people making, say, a million dollars a year when we can just freeze Granny to death! Who needs a death panel when you’ve got a blizzard? Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot!

See how mad I am, and all I’m really doing is quoting other people? Over the weekend I promise to have something happier to say… about something.

In Closing: Kafka-san; tip of the iceberg?; junk fees and foreclosure; too lazy; secret air travel; pot of gold; is it snarky if it’s true?; the status quo is bad; on conservatives and the Bible; city-states; zero tolerance means zero thinking; vaccinate; the budget.

Well Done, House of Representatives

Republican leadership in the House took a gamble on an expedited procedure to get the PATRIOT Act extended and lost. Moreover, 26 Republicans crossed party lines to vote against renewal, including 3 “Tea Party Caucus” original members and 9 newly-elected Congressmen. Let’s hear it for democracy.

In Closing: 100 views of Edo; create 1.5M jobs; no jobs; what??; criminally bad; damn straight; joblessness.

But the Recovery is Still On, Right?

The Dow and S&P were both up today. The economy is [allegedly] growing. Everything is on track and will be wonderful in the future, right?

Yeah sure.

The experts — at least the ones that don’t have their heads stuck in the sand — know that a real recovery means people will have to spend more money. In an environment where the Bureau of Labor Statistics quietly admits that real unemployment is 16.7%, and some groups have unemployment rates as high as 28%, that seems unlikely to happen.

Almost 11% of houses sit empty, mostly in urban areas. Eventually these homes will either be renovated or bulldozed. Experts predict a boom in apartments, without bothering to mention that’s because it will be a long time before a typical American has a downpayment. Just a reminder: the housing crash means that not only can workers not afford to move to Where The Jobs Are, workers can’t afford to start small businesses either.

Union membership is down. This does mean that wages are going down because nobody is there to fight for a living wage. It means that stable jobs are gone, because there’s nobody to demand them. It’s also a symptom of the fact that we can’t seem to make much of anything more durable than a latte in this country.

So wages are down, unemployment is high, houses are money pits rather than assets. But hey, they’re having a party on Wall Street. Maybe there’s leftover cake.

In closing: no; LOOKOUT (or just be sane); and how does that fix the radiation?; more on Jack LaLanne; an idea whose time has come; childhood obesity; solve the puzzle, win a prize; it must be nice; on health care; yes, Albania; that too; puzzling; and in case you wondered.

Inland Shorties

To Paraphrase My Source: why do we demonize doctors for over-prescribing (and parents for over-demanding) antibiotics when 80% of them are used on the farm?

Don’t Panic: Yellowstone has risen by as much as 10″ in spots.

Useless: New food labels tell you everything they think you need to know at a glance on the front of the package! Except, of course, how big a serving is.

Follow Up: Great Jack LaLanne quotes.

Been a while since we had a Japanfilter: Old pictures, traditional recipes. Less traditional. Free Japanese lessons.

Holocaust Remembrance Day: Enough said.

About Jobs: It’s not about competition; this might take some time; if he’s right, his wife may be unemployed in 2 years.

ACLU: Oh Snap.

Unaffiliated: Monitor lizard.

When can I buy one?: VW‘s latest mileage monster.

Harry? Is that you??: Reid says we must “reintroduce truth into the public debate.” Among other things!

Sharron: Won’t rule out running for President in 2012. Shudder.

Google: strange sense of censorship.

Deficit: Why austerity is a sucker’s game.

Duh: Financial crisis was avoidable.

The War On Drugs Gets Silly: Drug catapult.

That Nixon Was Too Liberal: Newt Gingrich says the EPA must go.

JP Morgan Takes the Fifth: Won’t detail a half million loans.

No, really?: Housing bust means workers can’t move to new jobs, a key feature of the “job market.”

Rare Fossil: Pterosaur and egg.

How is this not Terrorism?

Mere minutes ago, I read about the shooting and death of third term Congresswoman, Rep. Gabrielle Giffords at a Tucson grocery store. She was trying to meet with voters; her last tweet invited people to come see and talk to her. She was a Democrat who supported health insurance reform and voted for last term’s bill. She won her last election by a narrow margin, and is the only member of Congress married to an active military officer (he was also an astronaut). Recently, her office was vandalized; she and several members of Congress have received threats over the health insurance reform bill that was passed last session.

Princeton University defines terrorism as “the calculated use of violence (or the threat of violence) against civilians in order to attain goals that are political or religious or ideological in nature; this is done through intimidation or coercion or instilling fear.” Dictionary.com‘s first definition is “the use of violence and threats to intimidate or coerce, esp. for political purposes.”

This woman was shot at the grocery store. Why? Because she was a supporter of health insurance reform? Because she was a damn broad woman in a position of political authority?

I’m going to make this very clear: she was killed for political purposes, and that is terrorism. But you won’t see the assassin prosecuted for terrorism, just murder. And you won’t see any admission by the Powers That Be that non-brown or non-Muslims could possibly commit terrorism because then we would have to address what really causes terrorism. And you certainly won’t see full-body scanners going in at the grocery store or the mall, because then we would all understand what security theatre is all about.

Update: I had forgotten about this. Funny, I hear it’s been taken down from Sarah Palin’s site!

In Closing: public option would cut the deficit; on unemployment and employment (oof); ok, 41% seems high to me, maybe we should reduce unwanted pregnancies; and bats in blankets.

Shorties Horizon

Dead Zombie Horse: a few thoughts on health insurance reform. And Immaculate Infection.

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree: you make a fine fish habitat.

Laughing all the way to the bank: Only $3 billion? Pshaw! Let me get my checkbook.

Speaking of Banks: FDIC may sue executives of failed banks to try and get some of their money back. Oh and if we won’t do anything about too big to fail, Europe will.

Just Call Him Phoenix: a real life superhero in Seattle.

Nice: The Westin St. Francis washes every coin it receives.

Nuts: the rift between environmentally conscious Christians and nutjobs who think Jesus will just fix the environment.

The Dude Abides: Well no, it’s really just Jeff Bridges.

Obligatory January Weight Items: most Americans think their weight and dietary habits are just fine, thank you. Here’s the 8 worst diet and fitness fads of 2010. And for the motivated, a kick-start workout guide (don’t forget to eat healthy foods in moderate quantities!)

On Poverty: officially and in reality. At least it’s creating jobs at Dollar General, for what it’s worth.

Nevertheless: I hope you never need to know this information.

On Republicans: Go ahead and read the Constitution. How do they get away with telling the same lies so much we start to believe it’s true? Three Cups of Tea (tell ’em, Howard!). Hey big businesses, what laws do you want to not follow anymore? Guide to Governance. The sane people are concerned. And an open letter.

On all the other parties: Ha! Seriously though, I’d like to see a big, televised debate between party leaders of all these “third parties,” live during prime time. It would be a great laugh (have you ever read some of the published party platforms??), and the few good ideas will get picked up by someone who can run with it.

Delicious: Bison.

Oops: I mean oats.

Immigration Reform: it’s more complicated than putting up a fence.

Images: ranging from merely amusing to mind-blowing.

Welcome to 2011.