Bikini Bloodbath Shorties

Where the heck does Hollywood keep coming up with absurd titles for horror movies? Anyways, on to the shorties.

It wouldn’t be Shorties without the Economy:  Yeah, turns out it is a recession if you stop playing games with inflation. Gee, really? Maybe that’s why the stock market is picking up their money and going home. Maybe if somebody were, oh, I don’t know, creating jobs.

Is it a coincidence that I’ve been invited to 2 protests that they won’t even tell me where it is until I RSVP?: Maybe, Maybe not.

Up, Up, and Away: in my beautiful 1940s aircraft.

People with Idiotic Ideas Aren’t News: You tell em, Senator.

From the Top: The Secretary of Education says that No Child Left Behind is a **** piece of **** and urges states to opt out of the money associated with implementing it. Gee, maybe “better” isn’t a standard.

Bloody Socialists: Turns out they have a few good ideas about the practice of medicine.

Speaking of medicine: The Duhpartment of Research is at it again.

Be Afraid of Everything

Ok, seriously. Our obsession with terrorism has veered off into paranoia.

Two unidentified “U.S. security officials” says we need to be afraid of terrorists with implanted explosives, and the TSA director agrees that this is a possible concern — adding that there’s not a damn thing even the nudie scanners and patdowns that violate some states’ sexual assault laws can do about it.

Never mind the fact that such a bomb is much more likely to shower bystanders with gore than actually kill them. Don’t let reality stand in the way of losing some more civil liberties; after all it’s for our safety!

Right?

In Closing: more than you really wanted to know about the fake budget crisis, the economy, Republicans, and how politicians plan to screw you out of Social Security; Heinlein; stupid products for children; and camels at the oasis.

The Recovery

I was reading along, minding my own business, when I came across this USAToday item about how Americans have come to expect that they won’t be in any better financial situation next year. Near the bottom is buried this little gem, emphasis mine:

A typical recovery pattern goes like this: stock market bottoms, economic growth bottoms and then hiring and wage increases return. What’s unique and scary about this recovery is that the last piece of the recovery is not there.

The author goes on to talk about how weak job creation has been throughout this “recovery”. It’s almost like he was thinking of this chart from Calculated Risk:

 

Now let’s keep in mind the various bits of financial news we’ve had this week: there were only 54,000 jobs created in May, barely enough to employ a third of the people new to the job market; housing prices are officially in a “double dip“; major stock market indexes are down for the 5th week in a row; 45 banks have failed this year, and almost a thousand more are in trouble; certain forces in government are talking about severe austerity that would cripple job growth and throw millions of people into poverty and disease, despite the contrary wishes of the American people.

Now tell me, where exactly do we get the idea that despite all this, we are actually in some sort of “recovery”? Only if you measure corporate profits without any regard for Human-Americans do we have anything of the sort.

In closing: history for sale; Roman fishing vessel may have had a live storage tank; sluts must be punished; at least they admit that meat isn’t the only source of protein (I also like the emphasis on fruits and veggies over grains); damned liberal facts!; truth isn’t what the media wants you to believe; I don’t quote the good professor enough; depressing; 3rd grade; 60 small changes; HA! Manager comes up with a check fast when the moving truck and sheriff’s deputies show up!; turns out that physical activity is good for kids (who knew???); and the War On Drugs is officially a FAILURE.

Just a few items on the economy

So let’s just start with Robert Reich, pointing out the disconnect between Washington and the economy.

The economy, by the way, is in lousy shape. It’s just that between inflation reporting that automatically inflate GDP and corporations raking in record profits, it’s easy to pretend that things like anemic jobs numbers, people leaving the workforce, dropping housing prices, declining wages, high fuel prices, and all the other things that effect those of us in the trenches don’t matter.

But here’s an odd glimmer of hope. One Fed official thinks it’s time to start raising interest rates. His reasoning is that it will encourage saving. Traditionalists should be ripping their hair out yelling about how it will kill the “recovery” (you know, the one we aren’t really having) by making it harder for businesses to borrow money (you know, the money banks aren’t really lending).

Some of those traditionalists might stop for a moment to consider that it would also stifle inflation (the inflation the feds have been trying to pretend hasn’t existed since the Clinton Administration). None of them will point out that it will make it more attractive for everyone to own bits of the national debt (the debt that Congress is arguing about). It is too much to hope that anyone other than myself is beginning to question whether super-low interest rates actually do much for the economy.

 

In Closing: porn; abortion; blast from the past; War on Drugs; humiliation; security; and cats.

Tucker and Shorties vs Evil

Inspirational Story of the Day: Teen disappointed that he didn’t make the soccer team, so he loses 60 pounds and deadlifts 308 pounds. There are lots of things you can do if you want to badly enough.

Um, Yeah: I can see where meeting a co-worker in such a place might be bothersome. Just say “but it’s the Wall Street Journal! I thought it was business news!” if you get caught reading that at work.

Hi-Ho Silver! Away!: Now might be a good time to sell?

That’s a Good Point: Charity and God may go well together, but not always.

What Would Your Doctor Do?: Say no to nudie-scanners.

Let’s just put all this economic news in one spot: First, we’ve got payroll numbers, which are “rising” but at too slow a pace. Campaign for America’s Future reminds us that “it’s the economy, stupid” and “Americans want government to play a larger role in economic recovery.” Because big business doesn’t give a damn; after all there’s an entire rest of the world to exploit. Tiger Beatdown has a nice item on the ongoing class war that nobody [wealthy] wants to talk about. Meanwhile, more and more families are feeding their families with help from food stamps. Inflation is going to make things even worse for those of us who aren’t millionaires. Tim Iacono points out that the savings rate is even worse that we think. Teen joblessness may reach record levels this summer — which means expect idle teens to find ways to get into trouble. People are defaulting on their student loans. But hey, at least small businesses are borrowing money; maybe they’ll actually hire people.

How interesting: So with gas prices what they are and our nation importing oil, American oil companies are exporting more oil than they sell here! And best of all they are sucking down American tax dollars at the same time!

Even Shutting It is Controversial: Yucca Mountain. I guess some good padlocks aren’t sufficient, eh?

Fortune is Right: What good is a consumer protection agency that can’t protect? If Congress waters down consumer protections, or Elizabeth Warren doesn’t get to head the CFPB, you will know that our lawmakers have sold our souls to the banksters that ripped us off.

Susan’s Got a Point: It is called “special education” for a reason.

Eric Holder’s Vow is Worthless: Back in 2009 he vowed to stop raids on medical marijuana facilities (yeah, I’m no HuffPo fan, but the only better link was NYT). But I guess whatever forces really control the War On Drugs Used By Poor And/Or Brown People told him how stuff is: his office has warned states that they will prosecute anyone they think they can prosecute for medical marijuana. Never mind what the people think. Their opinion only counts on election day, after all.

The More Things Change, the More They Stay the Same: Marie Osmond celebrated her wedding to her third husband… who just happened to have been her first husband. She even got to recycle her original wedding gown. Thanks, NutriSystem!

Stop Lying about the Economy


Judge Judy had a little saying which I’m sure wasn’t original: “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining.” Well, by my way of thinking, The Experts who compile and release data have been peeing on our heads and telling us what a good thing golden rain is!

When Wal-Mart’s CEO says their shoppers are running out of money, things are bad. Seriously. Wal-Mart, for pity sake.

Unemployment is a serious problem. In fact, there’s one job for every 4 unemployed job seekers. That means that even if by some miracle we were able to fill every job vacancy with someone currently unemployed, we still couldn’t get unemployment down below 7%. And more people file for unemployment every week. Nevertheless, instead of doing anything that might create desperately needed jobs, Congress is hell-bent on slashing the deficit created by the Bush tax cuts. Never mind that creating jobs would be creating employees who earn an income and pay income tax.

Over a quarter of renters are paying more than half their income on housing — a number that should alarm anyone with a passing familiarity with the rental industry. This is despite the fact that “multi-generational housing” — double-speak for “I had to move in with the kids/parents” — is “hot.”

So now GDP growth has “slowed.” I still contend that if inflation were calculated fairly, we wouldn’t have had much in the way of “growth” in a decade. How can we have “growth” when so many people are jobless, underemployed, not even looking for work anymore, losing their homes, losing their savings, losing their retirement plans, not even having enough money to shop at Wal-Mart anymore? I bet it has a lot to do with companies like Exxon, Pepsi, and Microsoft having great earnings. These are large, multi-national businesses that earn money — and have workers — in many countries. Offshoring jobs is only part of the story. Remember, earnings season is just starting, so expect a lot more of these happy-Wall-Street stories.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the trade deficit. Granted, that’s already figured into GDP, so you can’t blame it for manipulating GDP, only causing a decline. That $45 thousand million dollars represents money that used to be in America, that is now in other nations, raising their standard of living. In one month! And do not forget that this number is as high as it is because here in America, we no longer make many things more durable than a latte.

So sure, the economy is great if you are a large corporation, or wealthy. To the rest of us, that golden rain is just someone else’s pee.

In closing: taking personal responsibility to it’s illogical extreme; better apply for that passport now; amen, CSM; on nutrition; Ezra comes >< this close to blaming the media for the Birthers; how come if ObamaCare is so bad, Republicans want to dismantle Medicare in favor of something just like it?; being poor is hazardous to your lifespan; you never know when you might spot something new; let me save you some time; more on student loans; and yeah, that will help.

Didn’t Even Need Scooby Doo

Ladies and gentlemen, the reason that GDP looks fine while to the rest of us the economy looks like a rusted out Ford Escort with a leaky power steering pump and a transmission that slips now and then: A typical hedge fund manager, in just one hour, “earns” what it would take you or I 47 years to accumulate. And at the end of the day, he doesn’t even make anything as useful or durable as a latte. After all, he did not cause the money he “makes” to come into being, only to come into his pocket. Even better yet, if you were to close one simple tax loophole, the top 25 of them would pay an additional $4,400,000,000 in taxes.

When even the IMF notices that we’ve got an income inequality problem in this country, you know it’s really bad.

In Closing: even Republicans think it’s a bad idea to slash Medicare; yeah, that could be why they’re fat; truly sad; stereotype theatre; I notice that sunshine and fortified milk are not on this list; the long version; riffing on a theme; caffeine!; oh yeah, that‘s gonna help; truth; incompetent photoshop tricks; better than it could have been; just in case you ever wondered what they ate; soldier fitness; have a Koch and a smile.

Shorties Highway

A few things about the Economy: Standard of Living; broke; working for nothing.

Wonder Wonder, Wonder Woman!: The History of the Universe as told by Wonder Woman.

Is it time to stop?: I don’t know.

Um, Yeah: Stock photos.

A sign of the Catpocalypse: Hello Kitty Hell tells you to buy Hello Kitty stuff by the 31st to support earthquake and tsunami relief.

A few things about Politics: Dems, Ur Doin It Wrong; Budget; Tax the Super Rich or Face a Revolution; Tom Hartmann.

Springtime in Vegas: Mojave Max says so.

Adapting: Sake.

And now for something cute: Smokey the Purring Cat. I bet that will wake you in the middle of the night!

The Post on the Host

It seems that March’s second day
is a special birthing day,
for Dr. Seuss of children’s lore
joined our world in Nineteen Four!

Should I, could I make a cake?
That’s fattening, for goodness sake!
Maybe I should write a poem
Though, truth is, I didn’t know him.

You could go to a memorial,
or to a library for a tutorial.
Perhaps Seussville seems like fun
(think so? You’re not the only one!)

Perhaps we could slice up some rare, Who roast beast,
with Green Eggs and Ham for a tasty feast!
Could wacky Wikis be your speed?
Or should we just sit down… and read?

In closing: Canadians prefer their news be made of truth; on taxes; uh, bad idea; so be it; which version do you like better?; ok, that sounds like a spending cut I can support; Timmy stamps his foot; right to work; too much sugar still isn’t good for you; unclear on how the government gets revenue; I saw the news today, oh boy; we’re doin it wrong; and time warp.

Well Done, House of Representatives

Republican leadership in the House took a gamble on an expedited procedure to get the PATRIOT Act extended and lost. Moreover, 26 Republicans crossed party lines to vote against renewal, including 3 “Tea Party Caucus” original members and 9 newly-elected Congressmen. Let’s hear it for democracy.

In Closing: 100 views of Edo; create 1.5M jobs; no jobs; what??; criminally bad; damn straight; joblessness.