The Shorties Saga: New Moon

Merry Zappadan: It has been brought to my attention that Zappadan began last night. Felicitous greetings those who celebrate, and of course the admonition to dance like a fool and not eat yellow snow.

Can’t He Eat Dinner in the Toilet? Geez!: That is what some ignoramuses are really saying when they tell a lactating mother to go nurse in the bathroom. Get over your bad selves; the original purpose of breasts — God Given if you believe in God — is to feed babies. Why don’t you go eat dinner in the toilet?? Now that being said, most mothers try to be discreet: they nurse at home before going out, they use modesty covers, they pump. But **** you if you disagree, anyplace it’s ok for a baby to have a bottle, it’s ok for him to eat the all natural diet that was intended for him.

Banks do as they please, we pay the fees: 6 more bank failures yesterday. That brings us to 130 for the year and no sign of slowing down in 2010. But the surviving banks aren’t accountable to their customers — an obvious breach of free market thinking, wherein banks that screwed customers should be the first to fail as we take our business elsewhere. Instead, they have to be “pressured” to do the right thing, and “regulated” to keep them from screwing us harder. We can’t just take our business elsewhere because either our small local bank will fold and be sold off to Faceless Conglomerate Bank Co or our mortgages will be bundled and sold piecemeal to them. And while it’s easy to say “I’m not doing business with Chase, close my credit card account and move my checking account”, it’s hard if not impossible to control who owns your mortgage. How nice that B of A suddenly has the money to rid itself of its largest and most meddlesome investor. Since when doesn’t the Fed have the ability to regulate them anyhow?

Say goodbye to all this, and hello to oblivion: (obligatory) Escalation in Afghanistan is teh win… for the bin Laden anyway. Heaven forbid we should learn from those who tried to fight “the good war” there before us.

It’s the Jobs, Stupid: The people want to go to work. They want to work more than they are worried about the deficit or much of anything else, and that’s actually kind of smart: you see, working people pay more taxes than those who don’t work! If we don’t get these people jobs, we risk losing the middle class altogether. (Yeah, I know I swore off HuffPo, but it’s Elizabeth Warren). Here’s a handy fact sheet.

Obligatory Health Insurance Reform Roundup: Remember, if the insurance companies want it, it’s probably bad for consumers — and that’s what Forbes says! Women have unusually high stakes in this thing. Poor Aetna having to cut all those customers so they can remain fabulously profitable! And remember that when they talk about “cost controls” they aren’t talking about controlling your premiums, but rather what your doctor and hospital gets paid. Oh, and this clip, wherein Shatner wishes the Vulcan neck pinch and mind meld were real… and that Nimoy were standing behind his guest.

Why Police Confiscations Must Be Further Regulated: “We think your passenger is a hooker so we’re taking your car… Oops we’re mistaken, you owe us $1400 to get your car back!”

And Last: A handy Wall Street to English translator.