Too Late

Great. Swell news. Twinkies will theoretically be back on the shelves next month.

Whatever, nobody cares anymore.

Go ahead. Visit a grocery store or a quickie mart. That shelf that used to have Hostess products is full of knock-off baked goods: Little Debbie; TastyKake, Mrs. Freshly’s; Bimbo Bakeries; even Krispy Kreme. Some of it even tastes better than what it replaced. That space is gone, taken over probably forever. That means no more room for Twinkies.

Stick a fork in Twinkie the Kid, he’s done.

In Closing: Paula Deen; a couple items on climate change; malicious prosecution; and falling wages.

Apparently She Got Religion

Maybe you remember a while back that I ragged on Paula Deen for the hypocrisy of hyping cake on the same magazine cover proclaiming she was going to talk about living with diabetes.

Well, that’s still bad. But at least she seems to be getting her own dietary house in order.

This week’s People Magazine features Paula on the cover, 30 pounds lighter than she used to be. She’s eating fruits and vegetables — without reducing them to cake form first. She’s giving up some of the decadent stuff she’s made over the years. She’s trying to exercise. And she’s trying to give up smoking.

Credit where credit is due. Keep up the good work, Paula.

In Closing: maybe letting the kid roast was higher “risk” than letting her have sunscreen (should people with that little judgement be in charge of children, ever?); sad; the problem isn’t really what they think; the Truth about Fast And Furious; get used to it! It’s a medical term for crying out loud! VAGINA!!!; physical activity and breast cancer risk; and a dictator’s worst nightmare.

Life with Diabetes

Sure, Paula. Let’s discuss “Life with Diabetes.” How about we start by talking about the importance of laying off the “Fresh Berry Cakes”? Even the American Diabetes Association says “sweet treats” are for “special occasions.” I get the impression that around the Deen household, Tuesday counts as a special occasion. The Mayo Clinic  suggests that a diabetic’s carbohydrates should come from “fruits, vegetables, whole grains, legumes (beans, peas and lentils) and low-fat dairy products.” I don’t see “cake” anywhere on that list. Add to that the latest research showing that fatty acids can “impair insulin action and lead to abnormally high blood sugar.” So yeah, the berries are fine, in moderation. The cake, not so much.

I’m not a doctor, and I’m not a nutritionist, but no research has ever found that large amounts of simple sugars are good for diabetics. If you have diabetes, pre-diabetes, metabolic syndrome, or are overweight (and therefore at risk of all the above), you should really talk to your doctor instead of making Paula Deen recipes.

Crap like this is why diabetics have complications. “Carb-smart” my tuchus.

In Closing: Hmm, maybe the Principal having a hissy fit in front of cameras over an event that the mayor thought was a great thing was a bad idea; “excuse me, before I tase you do you have any underlying health conditions or drugs in your system?”; turns police work into a freaking video game (right, totally not gonna abuse that!); Apple and the iPhone; Oof, it is that time of year; and Bill Clinton chilling out with porn stars.

Paint It Black

Since most of your favorite sites may be down tomorrow, here’s some things to keep you busy.

Why I Won’t Hire You.

Be Grateful to Your Wall Street Overlords.

Cop or Soldier? Take the quiz. I didn’t do very well.

35 Tips in One Infographic.

The Truth About Math.

About Paula Deen.

Dog Shames Shelter into Accepting Dogs.

And Modern Neanderthals Victorians Puritans Witch-Burning Hypocrites Slut-Shaming.