Tag: misogyny

At the risk of saying something offensive…

Ok, let’s all take a deep breath. In case you don’t know what happened in Santa Barbara yesterday, start here. Like Comrade Misfit, I will not glorify this man above his victims by naming him. Other people have done some terrific commentary, and a few have really stuffed their feet into their mouths as far as they would go.

So let me start by getting a bit obnoxious here for just a moment: How big a jackass did he have to be to be a rich kid in a BMW who still couldn’t get a date? Ponder that for a few minutes.

But seriously, I’d like to talk to all those guys who have some sympathy for Creepy BMW Murderer Guy. You might learn something that might help you actually interact with females.

Nobody owes you sex. Certainly, no “hot chicks” owe you sex.  This may surprise you. Somebody wiser than me pointed out that the Declaration of Independence says your inalienable rights only include the right to pursue happiness, not to catch it.

Indeed, women are human beings. They have their own desires, thoughts, and ambitions which may or may not include sex with you. They are not life sized sex robots that only exist for your pleasure and fantasies (such things do exist, and if you can’t change your ways of thinking, we are all probably better off if you bought one). Again, this could be surprising.

You will probably find that if you treat women like human beings rather than sex robots, your chances of spending time with one increase. You know, like you’d treat a man. With respect. Maybe a little humility. Perhaps give a complement. There’s a little zen thing going on here: think about things other than sex and you might actually have a chance at getting it.

Finally, there’s a lot of finger pointing here. And of course we are going to hear about how we have to “have a serious conversation about gun control” by the time everybody gets back to work. Once again I’d like to point out that the problem wasn’t the gun, but rather a batshit crazy man with a gun. And sadder yet? The same rules that kept the cops from forcibly getting him psychiatric help are the rules that prevent you or I from ending up in the happy home with no way out.

In Closing: Washington; climate change; if car seats were like vaccines; another study says what most people knew; another study shows what some people surely suspected; okay, okay, the NSA; whatever works, Logan; gridlock; more truth; and 29 beautiful beach pictures.

Musings of a Part-Time Feminist

I’m not very good feminist. I’m happily married and there’s very little I can’t do because of mere gender stereotypes. I’m no Amanda Marcotte. However, I know when I have to stand up for the fact that I am human even though I have no penis.

I recall being at work and a supervisor informing me that I should wear high heels. I politely asked if the guys would be wearing them as well. He made no reply and I never heard another word about it.

I do bristle when I get the “honey” and “little lady” treatment (it’s ShortWoman, Mrs. Magnus if you’re nasty!). I don’t like being told I’m a “smart cookie” and that “you’ll figure something out” when I ask for advice. I can detect a virtual pat on the head from a patronizing tone whether it is written or vocal. (Yeah, I’m talking to you, Senator Ensign’s office!)

Nevertheless, I am reluctant to ascribe to patriarchy what might just be stupidity.

However, that being said, I have to call stuff out when I see it. Consider this: in one week, two different men were arrested for making threats against two different members of Congress that both happened to be female. First, it was Senator Patty Murray — for whom I have had the pleasure of voting. Then mere days later it was Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi.

Anybody see a pattern here? Anybody? Bueller?

I am forced to concede that the rambling idiocy of the ultra-conservative, far right wing, “wing nut” and/or “teabagger” communities can only be explained by misogyny and racism. It isn’t particularly that they have a problem with health insurance reform, or taxes, or “freedom”, or gun rights, or the global climate change “myth”, or whatever they are on about this week. If it was ever about those things, those days are gone. Their problem is that there’s a negro in the White House and that a damn broad is the Speaker of the House. And to be honest, I don’t know which pisses these highly insecure people off more.

Consider also the double standard about what women are allowed to discuss publicly, including on their blogs. A great number of normal, natural things are NSFW. Discussion of breast feeding — the most natural way to feed a baby, even condoned in the Bible — even becomes about sex and gender. We can’t show that! We can’t even discuss that! “Can’t baby have his dinner in the toilet??”

Variations of this also permeate every discussion of “pro-life” ideals that condemns contraception. When you scratch the surface, it rapidly turns into “if you don’t want babies, don’t have sex, slut!” Or in this case, “How dare poor women on public assistance want to have sex but still control the size of their families.” Indeed, shame on them for wanting contraceptives, then double shame on them for bringing children into this world that they can’t afford to feed.

As I said, I’m not much of a feminist, but when the bullshit is heaped this high, even I can smell the attitude of men who think women aren’t as good and certainly don’t deserve nice things like recreational sex and seats in Congress.

In Closing: $200,000,000 per air marshal arrest; I hope you never need the first contact help sheet; for that matter I hope you never need these emergency tips; many of us were Pheobe Prince; Cash for Clunkers worked??; and the Jobs Report has nothing to do with that new operating system for the iPhone.