Reality Break

Dear Democrats on the Internet:

Have you lost your everlovin mind?

We just finished an election where the American voters rejected not just one, but two political dynasties. Furthermore, just about everybody except Maddie Albright rejected the notion of “vote for the girl ’cause she’s a girl.” And finally, voters rejected the notion of a “everything is fine nothing is broken” politics-as-usual candidate.

Michelle Obama would be a terrible choice for Democratic nominee in 2020. Not because she’s a woman. Not because she’s black. Not even because certain Republicans have spent the last 8 years criticizing literally everything about her.

Because we don’t pass down the Presidency like it’s some kind of crown.

And furthermore, she’s not interested.

Some Thoughts on the Democrats

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Why a picture of Joe Biden? Why not? It’s a pretty cool picture of him!

The Democratic National Convention was this week, so I’d like to share some miscellaneous musings.

On the Email Hack: So some are accusing the Russians of orchestrating this hack to manipulate our elections. None of these people are saying that the emails in question are fake, forged, false, or anything of the sort. So it sounds very suspiciously like they are mad they got caught. The FBI is investigating, but remember this: they are investigating the hack, not the fact that these emails seem to indicate that the Democratic primaries were rigged. And no, Trump did not invite the Russians to hack more. He made a joke about how maybe they have the missing emails. So shut up already about this “threat” to “security.” Remember which candidate had security features turned off on the private email server. This is the online equivalent of closing the store for the night and leaving the door unlocked.

And one more reminder: Read the last few lines. Now repeat after me: Never put anything on the internet that you wouldn’t proudly show to your mother, your boss, and a judge.

On Kaine: People keep saying he’s a Progressive. Ok, Hillary keeps saying he’s a progressive. I don’t see anything to justify that statement. He’s not just in favor of the TPP — at least he was until days ago — he voted to fast-track it. He’s pro-“life”. He’s “tough on crime.” Whoop-dee-doo he speaks Spanish. And did you know he used to be the DNC chair?

On Little Debbie: You know I don’t give political nicknames lightly. Little Debbie Wasserman-Schultz has achieved this dubious honor. She deserves the lawsuit she’s received from rigging the primaries, and more. Matt Taibi graciously calls it a “slanted campaign.” I am frustrated with Democrats who are willing to ignore this and say fuggedaboutit just because they find the opposing candidate scary.

On Bernie: Some people called him a sell-out, but what the hell else was he going to do? Change parties? The man played his role of The Grown Up In The Room and he did it with grace.

On Bernie Supporters: There is mounting evidence that they are getting a raw deal to follow up the non-binding pat on the head of “the most progressive Democratic party platform evar!” Interesting how many times it mentions Mr. Trump. I do not quite think that the Democratic party understands that they do in fact need those voters not just for Hillary, but for all the down-ticket races as well.

Yeah yeah yeah woman President: Michelle Obama said “And because of Hillary Clinton, my daughters and all our sons and daughters now take for granted that a woman can be president of the United States.” No, your daughters can be President, probably Chelsea and Dubya’s girls too. The rest of us, not so much. And no, it isn’t that America isn’t ready for a woman President. For pity sake, India, a nation with a less-than-stellar record on women’s rights, has had a female head of state. Whether any given American kid can become President boils down to money, and what college you went to, and who you know, and a bunch of things that boil down to the fact that most of us will get no closer to the White House than a tour.

And One Last Thing: Fact Checking Hillary and Donald respectively.

Shortiesface

Another Bad Trade Agreement: TTIP is turning out to be a bad deal too. At least the Europeans seem to have figured that out. It’s yet another deal so bad, they can’t actually let people know what’s in it.

Democrats: More than a few choice words about Hillary, Bernie, and the future of the Democratic Party (which can’t get rid of Debbie quickly enough for me).

Losers: On keeping weight off once you’ve lost it. Hint: if you go back to the stuff that made you fat, you will get fat again. Oh, and here’s some free exercise tips.

I’ll believe it when it’s law:A law has been proposed in Congress saying that companies can’t prevent you from saying not nice things about them online. I seriously doubt their corporate masters will allow this to come to pass.

Can’t decide if this is innumeracy or racism: Economist removed from plane for doing a differential equation.

Don’t forget about the NSA: They are doing more warrantless searching of American citizens than ever.

Music Monday: It’s still over a year from now….

So Scott Pelley pointed out that it’s “only” 594 days until the 2016 elections and what were candidates waiting for. Um, what?

So anyway I have this survey from the Democrats about Hillary’s potential presidential bid. I notice there’s not an option for “No, I don’t think she should run at all!” And no, I don’t want candidates who have to be “pressed” to run on progressive ideals; I want an actual progressive to run! Better yet, I want that progressive to stay progressive after election day.

No, not Elizabeth Warren. She’s more important where she is.

In Closing: Waah; interesting; throwback; the radioactive man; on Obamacare.

Wacky Democrats

So today I received a “One question poll” on which Democratic accomplishments make me the most proud. Let’s examine these a little more closely.

Health Care Reform: You mean Romneycare 2.0? I concede that Obamacare is an improvement over what we had. However, it still “fixes” the problem by forcing us to do business with the very profitable corporations that got us into this mess. I’d feel better if there were a public option. I’d feel a lot better if there were some concession that kids can’t control coverage: they don’t have employers to provide it and they don’t have a way to make their parents able to afford coverage. Don’t tell me this can’t be fixed, because Howard Dean DID. By the way, it’s not in any way health care reform, but rather health care insurance reform.

60 Straight Months of Private Job Sector Growth: Tell that to JP. If the there’s so much job growth, how come there’s no wage growth? How come Forbes has to promise it will start any minute now? How come underemployment is such a huge problem?

Rescuing the Auto Industry: Yeah, I guess they did that. Of course the corner that used to have a HUUUUGE Chevy dealer in town is now a vacant lot.

Reforming Wall Street: Big reform. Now the bankers have to be more careful how they screw you. Too Big To Fail still exists, banks still only follow their own rules, very few corporate criminals have ever even been charged let alone convicted, and the attempts to water down an already watered down law continue.

Historic Action on Climate Change: Really? Activists had to work too hard to kill Keystone XL, the gas industry still markets itself as “clean,” and we’re all excited about a “target“?

Expanding Equality: I have not the faintest idea what they’re talking about.

So six items, all but one done at best halfway. I am not proud at all.

In closing: my mom would have liked that manager; still an awful idea; not all ideas are equal.

Big Bad Shorties

It’s the Food: It turns out that people do pay attention to nutrition labels. That’s a good thing, because soon and very soon obesity will overtake tobacco as the #1 killer of Americans. Have some truth in comic form.

Zombies!!: Well sure, they aren’t allowed to try and collect it, but they can still claim you owe it!

Act Two is Coming to Ferguson: The grand jury will speak soon. And it looks like the police are prepared for anything that happens… by which I mean that they are heavily armed in a manner that is itself inflammatory.

On Privacy, not Piracy: Americans are aware of how little privacy they may have.

A few last election items: Yeah, voters are disappointed in Democrats. Yeah Republicans simply “lost less.” And yeah, anybody who wants to win in 2016 better pay attention to how things are going for normal Americans.

And Finally: It would appear that I am the one person in America that does not give a single **** about Kim Kardashian’s ass.

Dear Nevada Democratic Party:

If it’s not too much trouble, could you folks find some additional candidates that I don’t have to hold my nose to vote for? And would it have killed you to run some ads for the guy you’re running for Governor? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think anything can stop Sandoval from getting a second term, but you guys haven’t said much of anything about the Democratic candidate beyond the fact that he is fortunate enough to have the last name “Goodman.” It’s like you guys aren’t even trying.

In fact, in general if you guys could start acting like Democrats, that would be great. You know, you could stand up for things like reproductive rights and getting the freaking spooks to at least give lip service to the 4th and 5th Amendments? Oh hey, and if you’d kindly admit that the War on [brown people using] Drugs is a failure, that would be great.

Sincerely, ShortWoman.

In Closing: Everybody PANIC!!!; that’s Mrs. Bach; any time in jail can easily become a death sentence, no conviction required.

I’m not actually an optimist, but I play one on the Internet

The problem with the unexpected is that, well, it’s unexpected.

A decade ago, some guy was running for Senate in Illinois as a Democrat. I’m not sure anybody thought he had a chance — after all, he’d already lost in a bid for a seat in the House — until the unexpected happened. In this case, details about the divorce of the front running Republican from his very pretty actress wife happened to be disclosed by the courts to the Chicago Tribune. And the details regarding his sex life were absolutely devastating.

The end result of this *ahem* unfortunate turn of events is that the Republican candidate was replaced by someone deemed “more electable,” and the underdog Democrat went on to win a seat in the Senate. Just a few years later, that man went on to become President of the United States.

So, when Serious People say that a Democrat’s only shot at winning is “a Republican screwup“, remember that stranger things have happened.

A quick break: To bring you a metric ton of NSA and NSAreform” and Ed Snowden and NSA related items.

And, In Closing: on the Class of 2014; someone noticed; given up; most popular Google searches by state; and ironic photos.

Shorties Academy

One last thing on Microbiology: We have perfectly good vaccines that prevent deadly diseases. Use them!

Freakin NSA: please, help yourself to the links.

Can you feel the love tonight: A wolf falls in love.

This is apparently a thing: Maybe I should have waited until Caturday, but heck, enjoy some Catios.

TIL: Anderson Cooper is the son of Gloria Vanderbilt — which means he is of Old Money. And that’s not even the most interesting thing about him. He was a model as a boy, and a CIA intern for a couple summers.

Radley is Back: And he reminds us that cops (and others) have no expectation of privacy in a public place.

Politics as Usual: Words of wisdom for Republicans and Democrats.

Study proves fruits and vegetables are good for you: duh.

Let’s end happy: A nice news story with a happy ending and a pretty picture.