Do Not Panic

Yesterday, two elementary students were injured when a nutcase wearing black and spewing nonsense about the President opened fire with a gun.

Mark my words, by Monday some parent will be insisting that outdoor recess be abolished as “too dangerous.” The argument will be nothing more than “What if something like this happens again?? Better safe than sorry!”

But before we start herding all the children into the gymnasium, let’s look at some facts. According to these guys, there are over 38,000,000 elementary school students in the United States. The nice folks at the Census (plus my pocket calculator) say it’s only 37,811,132. For simplicity’s sake, let’s just say 38 million. This doesn’t include high school students.

Now then, how many students have been injured by guns at an elementary school? This is sufficiently rare that a Google search for “elementary school gun” turns up a collection of stories of kids expelled for having guns, toy guns, water guns, BB guns, stories of gun scares, etc.. Add the word “injured” and yesterday’s item fills most of the first page. If we go to Wikipedia’s page on “school shootings”, we find that in the last three years exactly 34 people have been killed in school shootings, including incidents on college campuses and high schools, including faculty and other adult victims. In fact, there have only been 27 school shooting incidents on elementary, middle, junior high, and grade school campuses in the United States ever, including yesterday.

So, we have a literal less than one in a million chance of being shot at school. You have more chance of dying today in a car wreck than being involved in a school shooting ever.

By way of contrast, an American child has a one in 3 chance of being overweight or obese, putting them at increased risk of diabetes, heart disease, sleep apnea, cancer, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and a host of other life shortening problems.

You want to play the “won’t somebody think of the children” card? Send them outside for recess. Let them go play.

In Closing: Could you pass the citizenship test?; People other than me are calling the foreclosure mess fraud (perhaps the BAMTOR Principle will crumble and people will go to prison?); if everybody eats there then how come I never see them?; disconnected; demented; decline of business casual (it’s all your fault!); and smell like a monster.

Follow-Up and Vegas Miscellany

In a way I wish I had waited until today to write The BAMTOR Principle. By some weird coincidence a bunch of other people have also noticed that Banks Always Make Their Own Rules that don’t necessarily have anything to do with the law. It turns out that many people knew that Wall Street was selling mortgage backed securities that were destined to fail. But what HuffPo didn’t bother to point out is that what those banks and brokerages did was in violation of the law. This blatant double standard — “laws are for little people” — will continue until the Feds start putting people in jail, levying huge fines against individuals who signed off on breaking the law, and states sue for the right to prosecute violations of state law.

In light of this, the banksters have the chutzvah to say that breaking up “too big to fail” institutions would create more risk. Yeah, more risk for their jobs.

As far as the economy goes, it turns out that 74% of Americans agree with me that regardless of what the government says about GDP, we are still in a recession. It’s getting more obvious that the numbers are being gamed. But don’t expect any administration in the near future to start talking about what inflation, unemployment, and GDP really are, because then we would all understand what deep doo-doo we are standing in and probably vote a lot of bums out.

Of course you need to be careful about voting bums out, as Christine O’Donnell and Nevada’s own Sharron Angle illustrate. Congruent Angle? Sorry I’m running out of Angle jokes.

And that brings me to an armload of local interest items. Let’s start with the spectacular view from the Cosmopolitan. Down the Strip a little bit, be careful about sitting by the pool at CityCenter’s Vdara, or you may experience their unique “death ray.” If you are planning on getting off the Strip, you will want to at least look over these amusing tips. One of the restaurants I visit regularly has been reviewed again, and I only recognize two of the things they were served. I haven’t talked a lot about it, but I am keeping an eye on the case of Erik Scott, killed in broad daylight by Metro in front of a Costco in one of our most yuppified neighborhoods. By the way, last week’s CSI did a great job of addressing it and not addressing it.

In Closing: electromagnetic spectrum; lies your teachers told you; cheap food costs dear; abortion does not have dire emotional consequences; Israel cannot have its cake and eat it too; people don’t like health insurance reform because it didn’t go far enough!; True Mud; a few words on taxes; Professor DeLong nails the Republican view of America; have we tried the simple stuff first?; Jack LaLanne is 96 (was I the only one who noticed Drew Carey’s homage in the blue “speed suit”?); and medical ignorance.

I’m going to speak slowly….

Pedant aside: please note that I did not say “Imma” in place of “I’m going to”.

The end of August is upon us. This is normally I time of year that I republish A Little Message for the College Crowd, updated with the newest Beloit Mindset List. As important as I still believe that message is — and I encourage you to send that link to the college students you know — there’s something else I have to say this year.

What is with you parents and your dorm room obsessions? Have you lost your minds?

Ok, yes. The kid is “out on his/her own” for what is probably the first time (heaven forbid you sent them to summer camp for a couple of weeks). Still, the space they will be occupying is a room. Not an apartment. Not a luxury suite. They are unlikely to have access to a kitchen, and there will be restrictions on what cooking implements they are allowed to have in their room. Also remember that they will not have a lot of room for, well, anything. And finally, remember that they will have a roommate. The aforementioned roommate may have his/her own ideas about the space — or worse yet, roommate’s mom might.

Here’s what you need to send to the dorm: school appropriate clothes (including pajamas and a jacket); bedding and towels; personal toiletry items; a travel bag (1); an alarm clock; school supplies, including stuff that would normally live on the student’s desk; laundry supplies including a basket, hangers, and soap; a few small items of decor (favorite poster, fun lamp, picture of the kid’s dog, stuff like that); essential personal electronics (computer, cell phone, MP3 player, etc.). Ask whether they need a trash can. If you’ve missed something really essential, I bet there’s a store near the school.

Here’s stuff that’s nice to have but not necessary: mini-fridge, if allowed; microwave, if allowed; calendar; white-board or cork memo board; a small stereo system and a few favorite CDs (assuming his/her whole collection isn’t on the computer and/or MP3 player); a little tote for getting toiletries to and from the shower; an electric fan (check dorm rules for when it may be used).

Every dorm room I have ever seen has two beds, two desks, two chairs, two dressers, and two rather small closets. Usually there’s lamp or flourescent light, and sometimes a task lamp on the desk. Do not send furniture to the dorm. And no, the kid doesn’t need a 42″ flatscreen in his room. He doesn’t really even need a TV! There’s one of those in the floor lounge, and he should really be studying anyway! Sure, make a list so you don’t forget important stuff. But if you have to rent a truck to get it all there, you’ve got way too much junk.

In short, treat the dorm like a bare bones hotel room instead of Baby’s First Apartment and you’ll do fine. The kid is legally an adult; now let the kid get on with his or her life. Please.

Now I get to sit back and wait for Calvin’s Mom to tell us what all those little darlings say when they arrive….

Obtuse Angle: Just a little rundown of the various Sharron Angle stories out there. At an event where she wasn’t expecting recordings, she said that evolution is a theory (just like phrenology, right?) and NPR has too small an audience for debates so Harry Reid needs to agree to meet her on Fox News. Both candidates think Cordoba House shouldn’t be built (is it sacrilege to have an apartment near Ground Zero? And if so, is it alright to *ahem* make whoopie there?) Here she is trying to sound sane repudiate clarify all her previous positions. Here’s our local politics guy calling her out on it. Here’s a blast from Sharron’s past. If you wonder what became of the Chicken Lady, this link is for you. And as a bonus? I’m Voting Tea Party T-Shirts.

Phoney Argument: Right, because just what we all need is to turn our $400 smart phones into $5 transistor radios.

Finally, In Closing: If “the easy answer is yes,” what are all the extra words for?; turns out everybody is cutting back, Boomers and retirees more so; the things you can dig up; we can hope; Thanks to E.B. Misfit for pointing out that the U.S. Chamber of Commerce thinks that women need to “make the tough choices about work-life balance” including “choosing the right place to work and choosing the right partner at home.“; what does it take to get shut down??; on arguing with conservatives; and more than you wanted to know about Death and Sesame Street.