Music Monday

If you don’t know of these talented and funny ladies, allow me to introduce you.

In Closing: Good enough for Israel but not good enough for you; How many times must I point out that the 9/11 terrorists were frequent fliers??; socialism; tell me something new; yeah; beware of a new scam; and government regulations put fishermen out of business!!! Oh wait, no, it turns out that government regulations made fishermen both safer and more profitable.

Music Monday: Something Borrowed

Today I’ve got a little “music theory” lesson for you. I’m going to explain that chord that’s driving you crazy. You know the one, the second one.

Most of the “happy sounding” songs you know are in what are called “Major keys.” That includes everything from Happy Birthday and Yellow Submarine to Pomp and Circumstance and the Star Spangled Banner. In fact, I can’t think of a single American “patriotic” song that is not in a Major key.

There’s another kind of key called a “Minor” key. You can express a lot of different emotions using it. Gloria Gaynor used it in “I Will Survive” to show determination and frustration. The Beatles used it in “Eleanor Rigby” where it echoed the loneliness and insignificance of the characters in the song. Anger, sadness, and a host of other things can be implied simply with a Minor key.

Chords can be Major or Minor too. Usually we capitalize Major chords. When a musician analyzes a piece of music, he or she will usually use Roman numerals. So if we build a chord on each step of a Major scale, we get this:

I  ii  iii  IV  V  vi  vii°

That last one is a third type of chord called “diminished.” Don’t worry about it right now, since it’s not important to this song. All of these chords are perfectly normal in a Major key, although there are some arcane rules about what order you can use them. An alarming number of songs use the chord progression I  V  vi  IV.

On the other hand, if we build chords on a Minor scale, these are the chords you will most frequently see (this bit is slightly simplified from what you’d be taught in a music class):

i  ii  III  iv  V  VI  vii°

So back to our song. The first chord is a nice big Major chord, I. The next chord is built on the 4th note of the scale, so it should be IV. However, they’ve fooled us with a jarring minor chord, iv! What are you supposed to be feeling? Happiness of being loved? Or fear of being rejected?

This is called a “borrowed chord.” Even though most young composers discover the neat, unexpected sound before High School, the fancy term is usually not taught until well into a college music theory curriculum. Now you’ve got a fun trivia item.

In Closing: it was worth a try; Samurai; interesting thing about the workforce; another reason we don’t need police drones; these guys think the Affordable Care Act is here to stay; no kidding; Montanans elected this person; high speed rail (I would worry about how they hold up in an earthquake, but Japan has it); Casablanca at 70; wanna buy a couple skyscrapers, cheap?; and Happy Wedding Day to Barney Frank and James Ready.

Over the Milky Way Tonight

Once upon a time, there was a divine, weaving princess. She spent much time weaving, and was sad that it left her no time for love. So her father arranged for her to meet the cow-herder of the stars. They immediately fell in love and spent all their time together. However, this meant the divine clothes for the stars went unwoven, and the cows roamed all over the heavens as each of the lovers neglected their jobs. Her father had no choice but to separate them with the Milky Way. They are only allowed to meet one day a year — the seventh day of the seventh month — and then only if she’s done with her work.

Happy Tanabata.

In closing: can we just admit that the TSA’s job is to make us do what we’re told?; let’s ignore the fact that most of us choose a hospital based on what our insurance will cover or what’s closest to the accident; recycling; Bond, James Bond; ha; careful when you write a resume; fat; “could” is the important word; just what I don’t need; maybe if people would read; good luck explaining that to your insurance agent; and Cowboys and Indians.

One heck of a life

Sad news today. Andy Griffith has passed away. Maybe you knew him from television? The man only had two monstrous TV hits and 6 decades of acting credits! What I didn’t realize is that he had a degree in music.

Rest in Peace.

In Closing: it’s more than a “sex” scandal; the bad idea of a national ID card is back; common sense on diet selection; hmm; let’s not confuse the issues with a bunch of facts; free ebooks; the very idea of stranger danger is dangerous; turns out drivers have to pay attention when driving a stick shift; I’d like to see this poster hanging in every high school in America; Reagan; racism and food stamps; they needed a study to say “gluten free doesn’t necessarily mean healthy”; sounds like a neat place; what’s illegal in Vegas stays in Macau; not a bad idea; and I thought I’d seen a bunch of these around town (just think if the dealership weren’t so teeny and there weren’t construction out front for most of the last year).

And it Happened in Texas

Sorry, I’m not going to add my somewhat useless two cents worth to the discussion of the Supreme Court and the Affordable Care Act. You can get that from almost every other blog on the interwebs today. I still hope we end up with an option beyond being forced to pay the highly profitable insurance companies that arguably created the problem in the first place.

A couple weeks ago in the In Closing bits, I said that “the case that will show ‘stand your ground’ laws have gone overboard involves a grade school teacher who was killed because the stereo was a little loud.”

It turns out that in a rare victory for common sense, I was right.

A unanimous jury was smart enough to say “Hey wait a minute, you were so scared that you went and confronted an elementary school teacher with a freaking gun because his stereo was a little loud?? Didn’t think to call the cops on a noise complaint?”

He probably thought he was being clever recording the incident on video. Maybe he shouldn’t have “bragged about his guns and told [a neighbor] a person could avoid prosecution in a shooting by telling authorities you were in fear of your life and were standing your ground and defending yourself.”

What a shame that somebody had to die for logic to prevail. It’s one thing to shoot at someone who is trying to kill you. It’s another thing to make up a threat to justify murder.

Comrade E.B. Misfit has a knack for putting thinks briefly: “Stand Your Ground” Does Not Mean “Go Looking for Trouble”.

In Closing: funny how libertarian utopias are only grand in the absence of disaster; and Americans would rather have Obama than Romney in charge should there be an alien invasion. Nice to see we have our priorities straight.

Apparently She Got Religion

Maybe you remember a while back that I ragged on Paula Deen for the hypocrisy of hyping cake on the same magazine cover proclaiming she was going to talk about living with diabetes.

Well, that’s still bad. But at least she seems to be getting her own dietary house in order.

This week’s People Magazine features Paula on the cover, 30 pounds lighter than she used to be. She’s eating fruits and vegetables — without reducing them to cake form first. She’s giving up some of the decadent stuff she’s made over the years. She’s trying to exercise. And she’s trying to give up smoking.

Credit where credit is due. Keep up the good work, Paula.

In Closing: maybe letting the kid roast was higher “risk” than letting her have sunscreen (should people with that little judgement be in charge of children, ever?); sad; the problem isn’t really what they think; the Truth about Fast And Furious; get used to it! It’s a medical term for crying out loud! VAGINA!!!; physical activity and breast cancer risk; and a dictator’s worst nightmare.

Shorties: The Hands of Fate

The Things One Finds: Roman beads in ancient Japanese burial mound.

Well, we all gotta go sometime: Ok, sure, we have more heart disease and cancer. We also have a whole lot less tuberculosis, flu, gastrointestinal infections, and diphtheria.

Because the real purpose is to make Chertoff a nice chunk of change: Not a single terrorist has been arrested through the use of whole body scanners.

It’s a good start: Two slimeballs convicted, one for molesting kids and one for standing by and doing nothing about it.

Oh really, USA Today??: “Supreme Court’s health care decision could affect millions”? Really? You don’t think that’s a given? By the way, it’s not a health care decision. It’s a health insurance decision and don’t ever forget it.

This is what rock bottom looks like: Former high school principal “went on a drug- or alcohol-induced rampage on Friday, stabbing several people — killing two — before driving his car into a crowded porch and brutally attacking a couple at a motel they ran. ‘You’ll be very proud of me, I just killed 10 drug dealers,’ Giancola told his mother afterward….”

Jill’s Got a Point: If already-low taxes and record profits aren’t enough to make “job creators” actually create jobs, what is?

Hillary’s at it again: saying radical stuff like how women need to be able to decide for themselves whether to have children. Hey Hillary, be sure to keep that message going once you get back to the States, mmkay?

How to Prevent the SWAT Team Bashing Your Door Down at 3 AM: boils down to “don’t be poor.” Because middle class and wealthy people never ever run drug operations or anything like that. Never. And the low level poor people never work for higher-ups who have money and don’t live in “the hood”. Couldn’t possibly happen!

Why That Burger Doesn’t Look Like the Picture: Truth be told, it’s a pretty good reason.

More Comedy Gold from USA Today: Are they running a newspaper or what? Apparently there are some Baby Boomers who have money to blow on $100,000 classic car restorations. Seriously? Because most of the Boomers I know are worried about whether they can afford retirement. Don’t get me wrong, I love to look at old cars and I have a soft spot for classic VWs. Even so, I can’t justify spending that kind of money on any car. I keep thinking “That could buy 3 nice sedans. Or maybe a sedan, a pickup truck, and a convertible.”

Another reason to take the bus: License plate scanners are on the rise, telling authorities (and anybody who cares to subpoena the records) everywhere your car has been for the last 2-5 years. Expect this data to end up in a criminal or divorce court near you.

And last: Here’s what 100 grams of protein looks like.

What?

Well, I had no idea that my lunchbox could impact the taste of my lunch. Any readers want a taste that doesn’t make sense? Anybody?

This Japanese food transport system was found in my local Asian grocer. I have no idea what the original brand name was, since Japanese doesn’t have an L sound. Gurit and Burirria? Sounds awkward.

In Closing: turns out Anderson knows that the CBO is something called “non-partisan”; let’s confuse everybody some more!; War on Drugs turns into War on Perfectly Legal Pain Medications that Some People Desperately Need; I think I’d rather have the stack of iPads; fat kids can’t do math?; duh; related; I wish I thought he was right; and part of me wishes this were a real audiobook.

My Boss Had Some Things to Say about Fear

He gives us a video update every week at our office meeting. I thought this one was more general interest, not really about real estate this week.

One thing though: why was he smiling about the idea of a knife to one’s throat?

In closing: movie; Zoinks, a ghost ship!; REAL done; don’t let them make it about sluts; moderate levels of chocolate and exercise work well together; the simple version of why mandatory health insurance isn’t the answer; I’ve been wondering the same thing; going in my blogroll; and exercise myths.

An Update: Ok, he wasn’t a good man. He probably would have robbed the place if nobody were home to stop him. Still, I don’t know of any court that sentences someone to death for sneaking into a back yard.