Mark my words, by Monday some parent will be insisting that outdoor recess be abolished as “too dangerous.” The argument will be nothing more than “What if something like this happens again?? Better safe than sorry!”
But before we start herding all the children into the gymnasium, let’s look at some facts. According to these guys, there are over 38,000,000 elementary school students in the United States. The nice folks at the Census (plus my pocket calculator) say it’s only 37,811,132. For simplicity’s sake, let’s just say 38 million. This doesn’t include high school students.
Now then, how many students have been injured by guns at an elementary school? This is sufficiently rare that a Google search for “elementary school gun” turns up a collection of stories of kids expelled for having guns, toy guns, water guns, BB guns, stories of gun scares, etc.. Add the word “injured” and yesterday’s item fills most of the first page. If we go to Wikipedia’s page on “school shootings”, we find that in the last three years exactly 34 people have been killed in school shootings, including incidents on college campuses and high schools, including faculty and other adult victims. In fact, there have only been 27 school shooting incidents on elementary, middle, junior high, and grade school campuses in the United States ever, including yesterday.
So, we have a literal less than one in a million chance of being shot at school. You have more chance of dying today in a car wreck than being involved in a school shooting ever.
By way of contrast, an American child has a one in 3 chance of being overweight or obese, putting them at increased risk of diabetes, heart disease, sleep apnea, cancer, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and a host of other life shortening problems.
You want to play the “won’t somebody think of the children” card? Send them outside for recess. Let them go play.
So lets start with President Obama feeling that part of the problem is that many schools are using outdated textbooks. Has basic reading or math changed recently? Will your child be laughed at for using an outdated form of Algebra? Sure, our understanding of science changes all the time. And foreign languages evolve — Latin excepted. As for history, does it matter inasmuch as they will never get to the last chapter anyway?
One problem with education is that the people who teach the teachers how to teach are failing to address the basics: things like classroom management and how to effectively meet the objectives of reforms like standardized testing. Or, “how to keep a job as a teacher.” In fact,”only 49 percent believe state governments should adopt the ‘same set of standards and give the same tests in math, science, and reading nationwide.'” Sorry professor. Colleges and modern employers expect a high school graduate to know certain things.
In Closing:Rest in PeaceTony Curtis; Happy BirthdayHoover Dam; health insurance changes; it’s not over ’til the crazy lady sings; I’ll have Honda on asphalt with mayo; Erik Scott leads to ch-ch-ch-changes; you can’t have both; on Social Security and Women; Kohl‘s is creating jobs (that’s more like it); why it’s a “bad thing” for household debt to decline (if you are an economist); once more the rich get richer; Dear Ben Stein, stop whining; worker’s health costs to rise 12% next year; and maybe the reason it “seems” that Americans don’t want jobs as migrant farm workers is that they don’t speak Spanish, don’t have “tractor skills” and like coming home to their families every night (certainly a barrier for single parents!). But we would rather pretend that it’s because we uppity high school and college grads are too good for back-breaking labor in an environment where only lip-service is given to labor laws.
In a way I wish I had waited until today to write The BAMTOR Principle. By some weird coincidence a bunch of other people have also noticed that Banks Always Make Their Own Rules that don’t necessarily have anything to do with the law. It turns out that many people knew that Wall Street was selling mortgage backed securities that were destined to fail. But what HuffPo didn’t bother to point out is that what those banks and brokerages did was in violation of the law. This blatant double standard — “laws are for little people” — will continue until the Feds start putting people in jail, levying huge fines against individuals who signed off on breaking the law, and states sue for the right to prosecute violations of state law.
As far as the economy goes, it turns out that 74% of Americans agree with me that regardless of what the government says about GDP, we are still in a recession. It’s getting more obvious that the numbers are being gamed. But don’t expect any administration in the near future to start talking about what inflation, unemployment, and GDP really are, because then we would all understand what deep doo-doo we are standing in and probably vote a lot of bums out.
Of course you need to be careful about voting bums out, as Christine O’Donnell and Nevada’s own SharronAngle illustrate. Congruent Angle? Sorry I’m running out of Angle jokes.
And that brings me to an armload of local interest items. Let’s start with the spectacular view from the Cosmopolitan. Down the Strip a little bit, be careful about sitting by the pool at CityCenter’s Vdara, or you may experience their unique “death ray.” If you are planning on getting off the Strip, you will want to at least look over these amusing tips. One of the restaurants I visit regularly has been reviewedagain, and I only recognize two of the things they were served. I haven’t talked a lot about it, but I am keeping an eye on the case of ErikScott, killed in broad daylight by Metro in front of a Costco in one of our most yuppified neighborhoods. By the way, last week’s CSI did a great job of addressing it and not addressing it.
As you are no doubt aware, each of your students has 5 other classes. Each of these classes has their own supply requirements, although some things like “pencils” and “notebook paper” are universal. There is only a 5 minute or so passing period between your class and the previous or next class. While it seems like many schools are set up with an area dedicated to students at one particular grade, the fact remains that some of your students will have classes in another part of the building (such as gym, choir, art, or foreign language) and not have an opportunity to visit their respective lockers during some passing periods. Furthermore, it is highly likely that a student might have homework in multiple subjects, requiring that quite a few things be taken home.
These are things that I would have thought obvious to a professional in your position. However, it seems clear that some teachers have not considered the idea that students might have no choice but to carry supplies for multiple subjects at once. I can think of no other explanation for the extraordinary supply lists that have come home for the last several years, including fact that several of your colleagues each require a minimum 1″ binder, and a couple have required 2-3″ three ring binders.
Really? They need that much stuff for one class? Do you really think it’s important for them to carry around every scrap of paper issued in your class from now until June? Is every assignment, every graded quiz, every set of scribbled class notes of such critical importance? Can’t we use this opportunity to teach prioritization? Frankly, I didn’t need multiple 3″ binders per semester in graduate school!
Further, there is the issue of space and weight. These are still kids we are talking about. There is a finite amount of physical room in their book bags, and heaven forbid they should need to cram a book in there. Experts recommend that they put no more than 10-15% of their bodyweight in a backpack — including the weight of the bag itself. Let’s say for the sake of argument that these kids weigh the same 120 pounds I do. That means no more than 12-18 pounds. Have you considered putting your required supplies on a scale to see how much you are contributing to the load? The 500 sheets of paper that will fit in just one of those 3″ binders is 5 pounds alone.
Please understand that I don’t even want to address the expense of all these supplies despite the fact that 1 in 5 American workers is living paycheck to paycheck. I consider myself fortunate that I can just go out and get all this stuff without worrying about whether I can pay all my bills.
Just do parents a favor and think about the whole picture rather than your one class when preparing your list of required supplies.
Over the weekend, the people who brought us TaintedEggs™ said that anybody who got sick? It was their own damn fault. Yes, that’s right, it’s our fault for enjoying eggs over easy, Hollandaise sauce, and Caesar Salads. These aren’t your grandmother’s farm fresh eggs, sweetie! Treat them like toxic waste that must be incinerated to be healthy!
Today the FDA pointed out that maybe, just maybe, letting 8 foot tall piles of chicken poop accumulate and having rats around might be part of the problem. I wonder how long until they find a way to make that our fault too.
In closing: “Maybe we can get Yaphet Kotto to play Captain Picard”; inside Trader Joe’s; a criminally misleading article about what doctors make; investors are nervous; Japanfilter double feature, Space Cruiser Yamato and the truth about Kobe beef; banks still only follow laws that they want to follow; 5 fastest growing occupations (the top two paying jobs reflect a premium for people willing to work the overnight shift); orders for durable goods — things that last longer than a latte — are up a whopping 0.3%; Turn Off Fox; when you start calling the citizenry “a cow with 310 tits [sic]”, you shouldn’t hold down a government position; Direct Instruction is a little more complicated than “nuns in a classroom,” but his point is taken that it in fact works; the smartest thing on unemployment that you’re likely to read this week; “cut government spending… someplace else!”; the next Dalai Lama could be an attractive woman?; you’ve got the time, get out and vote; Righthaven is perfectly willing to go after bloggers, but not a Senate candidate; on American Apparel; mysterious heiress (Clark County, Nevada is named for her father); and finally, The Doctor is In.
I remember it was probably over a decade ago, I first saw somebody make a monte cristo sandwich on TV. The chef might have been Emeril. It was the most decadent thing I had ever seen: a ham and cheese sandwhich, made with thick, egg-drenched slices of french toast. This made eggs benedict seem tame.
Time passed, and stuff like the KFC Famous Bowl came out, described by one blogger as “like throwing up in reverse.” But that wasn’t enough! Since then we’ve had KFC’s Double Down, Friendly’s Mac and Cheese Quesadilla, IHOP’s cheesecake filled pancakes, thousand calorie burgers (before the fries!) marketed as “healthy“, and a bunch of other things that look like somebody was trying imagine what they would submit to a Top ChefMost Calories with Stuff Already Here Quickfire Challenge.
Today’s entry:
That thing is a grilledcheesesandwich, made with melted American cheese and 4 deep fried mozzarella sticks, on sourdough bread. Served with marinara sauce and of course a heaping helping of fries. Available at Denny’s for a mere $4. Nutrition information is not yet available. It probably replaces the 650 calorie 3 Cheese Melt, which had been at least served with a choice of soup or salad.
I’ve got to agree with the Awesomer on this: Why didn’t they deep fry the whole thing? But remember, it’s only “culinary terrorism” if you actually eat it.
You probably weren’t aware that I spent most of the last week in San Francisco. Something that few people will mention to you is that takeoffs and landings from McCarran in 110+ degree heat can be a little, um, bumpy. When we arrived at SFO it was substantially cooler. I do have to give Virgin America points for having really nice seats on their planes and a nifty in-flight entertainment system. Oh, and just a little word about air travel in general: if it’s big and heavy enough that it needs wheels, it is by definition not a “carry on“.
We rode the subway from the airport into downtown and from there walked to our hotel, the Westin St. Francis. It’s a great hotel on Union Square that actually survived the Great Earthquake. The Clock Bar in the lobby is a very nice place to have a drink, but it does fill up in the evenings. Pro-tip: you don’t have to leave the building to get to Victoria’s Secret but you do have to go outside to get to the Pink boutique.
I know this sounds dumb, but riding BART gave me a new appreciation for 20th Century music.
After settling in, walked to Chinatown, wandered through some shops, and ate at Sam Wo’s. This place has been there over a hundred years now, and there’s just no way it would ever open today. Here. Let Conan explain it to you:
In any event, we recommend the pork rolls and the chow fun. And try not to look like a tourist. Just go up the stairs, find a place to sit down, and pretend you’ve been there a million times.
In the morning, it was back to Chinatown for the kind of treat you just can’t get in most neighborhoods, dim sum for breakfast! Ask about where to get dim sum in San Francisco, and a lot of people are going to start telling you about Yank Sing, a wonderful little place that you have to know exactly where it is to have any hope of finding it. It’s always packed and frankly, kinda pricey. We bagged that in favor of the Hang Ah Tea Room, off one of Chinatown’s historic alleys. The food was just almost as good, but a third the price.
Then it was back onto BART towards Daly City, where friends picked us up at the station to go to a little place called Montara. Last time we were out there, we got to see whales breaching, but no such luck this time. It’s still just gorgeous out there. A great time was had by all, even their dog.
The next day was a bit of a hike. After some yoga in the morning, we walked to the Ferry Building, had coffee at Blue Bottle Coffee, and a late breakfast of sandwiches at Il Cane Rosso. From there, we walked down the waterfront, occasionally distracted by interesting things, until we arrived at Pier 39, or as we like to call it, Admiral Ackbar’s Pier. It’s a tourist trap! The smell of sugar and fried stuff is overwhelming, and you’re on the ocean! Just about the only thing you can do for free is see these guys, the famous sea lions of Pier 39:
A bit further down the waterfront is Fisherman’s Wharf, from which you can easily see Alcatraz:
But wait… what’s this?? A World War 2 Liberty Ship and a submarine! We went ahead and toured the sub, the USS Pampanito. By chance, there happened to be a gentleman touring with his grandkids who had actually served on such a vessel. Nothing exists on a sub that doesn’t have a purpose. Oh, and there’s no way Tony Curtis’s character on Operation Petticoat had private quarters.
Now, I haven’t the faintest idea why I decided to put a couple bucks worth of quarters in my wallet before leaving town. Perhaps I was thinking of vending machines? In any event, I was happy to have them when we arrived at the Musee Mechanique. Free admission, and an amazing array of picture viewers, player pianos, mechanical plays, pinball machines, music boxes, and even old video games, all operational and taking quarters.
Once we got down to the Cannery, we started back towards Little Italy. Not as famous as Chinatown by any means, but it has a special place in American History. Specifically, the history of banking in America. By this time it was mid-afternoon, and a great time for a snack! We stopped for pizza (and a bit of the house Chianti) at Panta Rei Restaurant. We wandered back through Chinatown to the hotel to chill out.
Dinner was at John’s Grill, home of the Maltese Falcon. The original. Honest. It’s one of those places that people have told us we just have to try. I don’t think the menu has changed much during my lifetime — seriously, you can still get the lamb chops with baked potato and sliced tomatoes that Sam Spade ordered in the book — and under normal circumstances that makes for an episode of Kitchen Nightmares. However, they pull it off perfectly. And don’t be afraid to order a cocktail; they serve all the classics in that department too.
Now, for those keeping track, that was all on foot. No rent car, taxis, buses, streetcars, trolleys, bikes, or boats. Over 5 miles of hilly sidewalks.
After our workout the next morning, we headed back to the Ferry Building. Moar Coffee! The farmer’s market was open and that meant plenty of tasty little food vendors. Pastrami burger for the win! Fresh organic peaches for dessert.
Again we went down the waterfront, but not too far. Next to the famous Fog City Diner is a peaceful spot called Levi Park:
Back behind the park, there’s this stairway. It’s a big, big stairway. And if you turn around at the landings, you get to see some spectacular views. Keep going all the way to the top — as if there’s anyplace else to go — and you end up on Telegraph Hill at Coit Tower. For $5 you can take the elevator to the top and get a truly spectacular view of the whole city.
Getting down from Telegraph Hill is almost as fun as getting up there in the first place. Remember that although pedestrians may have the right of way there are certain laws of physics that can’t be changed: cars are heavy and hills are steep. On the way back to Union Square, we stopped at Sam Wo’s for an afternoon snack. We’ve got to get our Chinese food when the getting is good. And so that’s why we ended up walking back to Chinatown for dinner at the Far East. Somehow we had trouble making our waitstaff understand that yes, we understand that certain dishes are spicy, and moreover we like it that way!
Another 5+ mile day. In the immortal words of Tony Horton, “It’s fun to be fit!”
Unfortunately, in the morning we had to start getting ready for the trip home: pack up, get breakfast on the go, walk to the train station (realize that yes you can get into the mall from the subway station), back to SFO, figure out what terminal we need (the international terminal? Really?), get through security, go home, do laundry.
These day-glo monstrosities were sold as “Summer Fun Cakes” at a grocery store near me. Looks like something Marge Simpson would serve in honor of Nuclear Power Day. Don’t look too long without applying sunscreen! I’ll pass, thanks.
