Some Advice on School Programs

By now, most schools have already had their Christmas programs, and planning for some sort of Spring Extravaganza may well be well underway. Have no fear, next year’s Christmas program will be planned by the end of summer. This being the case, you might consider forwarding this to a school drama or music teacher, or saving it until the proper time.

Over the years I have attended, performed in, and planned many amateur productions with groups that ranged from preschoolers to adults and absolutely everything in between. These productions have included concerts, plays, pageants, musicals, operas, cantatas, recitals, competitions, and some things I am probably willfully forgetting. I would like to think I have learned a thing or three about such endeavors, and thus would like to share my extremely limited wisdom with you.

Consider your audience. It’s size, that is. With an adult production you can control attendance by issuing tickets, even if you don’t charge for them. When you are out of tickets, you don’t let anybody else in. If there is enough demand, you run a second night. That’s pretty simple. With a school production you must assume that each and every student will be accompanied by at the very least two parents, and perhaps five or six people once siblings and grandparents are figured in. It is safe to say that your bare minimum audience size will be three times the number of performers. Now think about that for a minute: Do you have enough room for all of them to sit? In chairs? Will the Fire Marshal be alright with that? Is there enough parking? If the answer to any of these questions is “no,” you must either reduce the number of performers — maybe break the performance into separate grade levels or groups — or find another performance hall.

Shorter is Better. Trust me, I speak for everyone when I say that it is better to do four musical numbers well than six badly. Furthermore, your younger performers and their parents will truly appreciate a shorter program. Not even movies usually run two hours anymore; what makes you think your production is worth that kind of time? This is another case for having multiple performances by separate groups. So some people will have to *gasp* be there for two nights. That’s show-biz.

Remember the Basic Rules of Stagecraft. Things like “risers are for standing on, not dancing and stomping.” “When performers turn around, their voices don’t go out to the audience.” “Large groups of children speaking in unison cannot be understood.” “Singing and choreography are at least three times as hard as either thing alone.” Please, make sure every performer knows the very first thing I ever learned about drama: YOU MUST SPEAK LOUDLY AND SLOWLY FOR THE AUDIENCE TO UNDERSTAND YOU. Oh, and I don’t care how much you loved “Cats,” it is a bad idea to send performers running through the audience, particularly if you have ignored my advice about audience size and thus have a standing-room-only crowd.

Avoid Anything Labeled “A Musical for Young Voices.” Seriously. Especially if it butchers old songs with cutesy lyrics. Particularly if it comes with an accompaniment tape or CD. A minimum of 95% of such works stink, and you have better things to do that try to find the one that doesn’t. We aren’t talking Rodgers and Hammerstein here. The plots are usually insipid, the lines designed to showcase the handful of kids with good stage presence and otherwise give a token line to everybody. The music is usually mercifully forgettable, although each song tends to be at least one verse too long — and you can’t cut verses when using a pre-recorded accompaniment. If you just have to do a musical, why not write it in house? Older kids can write the lines, or you can adapt a short book. As for music, we live in a world with thousands of folk songs and hundreds of Christmas songs. These are familiar songs which students might encounter again someday, not some throwaway tune that they will never hear again.

Consider and Communicate Logistics. This is absolutely vital when you have multiple groups of performers! Not one person in your audience came to see somebody move music stands for 10 minutes. Consider the most efficient way to use your performance space over the course of the entire show. Use curtains, risers, scenery, judicious intermissions, announcements, and multiple stage hands to advantage whenever possible. Furthermore, be sure your performers know where to go before the show, how to get to their place in the show, and where to go after the show. Do not assume they know. When your performers are students, make sure their parents know when and where to drop them off, pick them up, and what they should be wearing. Make this known at least two weeks before the show, and remind them as critical times approach.

Thank you for your patience. Season’s Greetings, everyone!