Month: November 2010

How to Create a Few Hundred Thousand Jobs

Now, I’m normally a Westin kinda person, but I enjoyed seeing J.W. Marriott Jr. point out that “the government has made it far more difficult for foreigners to travel to the U.S., costing the nation tens of billions in lost revenue and hundreds of thousands of jobs“.

My favorite part:

Marriott said he has met repeatedly with officials at the State Department and other government agencies, but they have been largely unresponsive.“We keep talking and they look at us and say, ‘We’re protecting the country,’ ” Marriott said.

Yeah, protecting us to death.

Maybe I’m a little sensitive to this stuff, living in a city that was called “among the world’s worst economies” by a new study.

Anyway, it’s time to “take a sensible approach to air security” based on reality, not fear. Maybe we could get man’s best friend into the act. After all, dogs don’t profile.

In Closing: pterosaurs; “the official dietary recommendations are not sufficient for preventing obesity“; instant gratification; Senate passes “food safety bill” that kindly omits meat, poultry, and eggs (but does create a bureaucracy, so it’s all good, right?); homecoming; banks get richer off our money; 8 million fewer credit card users; privatizing Social Security is still a dumb idea!; and Sue Lowden is shocked — just shocked! — that Chickens for Healthcare didn’t send her to the Senate.

The Shorties Exorcism

Where Have You Been?: Playing Black Ops. CODBO or BLOPS if you prefer. No zombies.

Daddy Says So, and That’s That!: Jeb is not running for President in 2012. Even though Daddy admits that “he’s a good man, he performed as governor, he’s well-spoken, he’s not an extremist, he’s not a wild guy that attributes bad motives to those that disagree with him, and he’s good. And people that know him and hear him say the same thing.” In other words, all the stuff Dubya isn’t.

Totally Silly Acronym: It turns out that TSA screeners don’t like to touch your junk either. Mostly. But even though nobody finds the current system acceptable, the Boss says it’s not changing. Now, one thing that surprised me being trapped at an unexpected layover in Tucson is that the color-coded alerts are still in effect (“orange,” if you were wondering). Well, maybe not for long. Oh, and Ms. Napolitano thinks that nudie scanners should be installed for other mass transit as well! Way to kill any hope of relieving traffic congestion! The idea is that “terrorists are looking for vulnerabilities.” Then I got news for you, the mall is the next target. It’s soft, it’s easy to get in and out, and it’s full of people who aren’t thinking of security beyond “where’s my wallet”.

“What About My Options?”: Sharron Angle thinks she has political options. My neighbors think otherwise:

Lying With Statistics: Oh No! The Regulations!! They’re choking small businesses! Ok maybe not.

Ded body, snding pix: 911 may get upgrades allowing them to receive text messages and even video of emergencies in progress.

Meditation for Healthy Cells: Could be!

The Truth: Just Do It.

Think beyond the Infomercial: Tony Horton is.

Live From Sesame Street, It’s Saturday Night!:

That’s all folks. Happy Thanksgiving.

“Don’t Quit Your Day Job”

Seriously, some people need to be told not to quit their jobs while trying to get a mortgage. Everything you need to know about getting a mortgage in this week’s Getting REAL (Estate) in Vegas, starring me with special guest Kari Phillips of Southern Fidelity Mortgage.

In closing: Shut up and take it like a man, says the President; priorities; new Fiats; more extortion; Direct Instruction works; sounds like the setup for a blasphemous joke; Schneier; depression; and reconstructed.

Har Har Hardy Har Har

Today I was forwarded a hilarious item called “Classes for Women at the Adult Learning Center.” In it were such gems as the following:

  • Up in Winter, Down in Summer – How to Adjust a Thermostat
  • Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?
  • Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase–Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
  • How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program
  • How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
  • [And my personal favorite,] Health Watch–They Make Medicine for PMS – USE IT!

Oh ho ho! How amusing! Forward to all your guy friends! Try not to spray your monitor with beer!

Well, what’s good for the goose is indeed good for the gander. So in the interest of fairness I would like to flip the brochure over and look at possible classes for men (no offense intended to the many fine gentlemen I know that could easily teach these classes):

  • Toilet Seats: the Three Critical Positions and When to Use Them
  • How to Ask for Directions and Read Manuals (with lab)
  • Etiquette for the Twenty First Century, or How to NOT get Slapped in Bars
  • Psychology Seminar: Just because she’s talking doesn’t mean she wants you to tell her how to solve her problems
  • Freeway Driving: It’s Not a Race to See Who Finishes First
  • [and finally] Sexual Intercourse: It’s Not a Race to See Who Finishes First

Got any suggestions? Put them in comments.

The “it would be funny if it weren’t true” part? Today I had planned a post on the one thing Iran, Somalia, Sudan, Nauru, Palau, Tonga, and the United States have in common: they haven’t seen fit to ratify a treaty saying that women have human rights. Think about that just a moment — Saudi Arabia and Afghanistan have signed on, but the US hasn’t.

In Closing: confessions; caffeine and weapons; throw them in jail; submit or start driving; expert Ezra; back to the grassroots; Arizona boycott is working; obstruction; Advice for Kate Middleton; and skeptical.

Dodged a Bullet

I was traveling last week — which explains the two picture posts — but did not have the *ahem* pleasure of doing nudie shots in the full body scanner or the full grope floor show. More on my trip another day, if I both feel like it and remember.

Of course by now everybody has heard about these special “x-ray” machines that leave nothing to the imagination. In fact, I think it’s a little misleading to call these things “x-ray machines” because they don’t do what the unit in your doctor’s office does; they are a virtual strip search. And yes, it has been demonstrated over and over again that they can and do save favorite pictures. These things being true, I hope some overzealous Attorney General decides to prosecute the TSA for producing kiddy porn.

Even if you are comfortable enough with your body that this does not concern you, there is the matter of radiation. Although the TSA insists that everything is fine and it’s all perfectly safe, actual scientists who aren’t being paid to tow the party line disagree strongly. Pilots of at least one airline have decided that just maybe the scientists are right.

Oh, and did you know that That Asshat Michael Chertoff* is making money off the damned things?

So fine, you can opt out. Sort of. You can choose to have your private parts fondled instead, in a manner that in any other circumstance would be called sexual assault. Again I must ask whether it is legal at all to touch minors in this way. And the kicker? None of this would have stopped 9/11, the Shoe Bomber, or even the Underpants Bomber.

This doesn’t even address the 4th Amendment issues that the TSA and Federal Government would like to pretend you’ve waived by trying to get home for Thanksgiving.

But thankfully, Joe and Jane Average are waking up and just starting to say “No!” And Congress is even saying “Now just wait a minute here.”

It’s time to object to this treatment, consider abolishing the TSA, and look at how they do security in countries where the risk from a bomb is greater than the risk of somebody saying no.

In Closing: Shadow Scholar; millionaires don’t need tax cuts; a plane affair; how not to kill roaches; Congress prepared to screw homeowners to hide fraud by too-big-to-fail banks; ten times as many people care about jobs and the economy than the federal deficit, but I’m clearly only pointing that out because I’m a liberal; call a waaaahmbulance; insurance erosion; goin hungry; at least we’re “pay[ing] off debt” (even if it’s by letting the bank take the house, and just letting the credit cards go); and Shatner sings.

* It is a sign of respect for me to address him by his full and complete title! There aren’t many guys I’d do that for.

Huh.

I’m going to start by saying the only thing I intend to say about politics today: if are an American adult and you didn’t vote in Tuesday’s elections, I have no desire to hear any of your opinions about politics, the law, or the economy. You had your opportunity to make your voice known,  even if it was to vote for “none of the above.” Got that? Now get lost.

Now that that’s out of the way!

This week I’ve been collecting stories that just make you say “huh.” Like the newly found San Diego to Tijuana drug tunnel, complete with lights, ventilation, and a rail system! You know, if pot were legal and regulated, not only would this stuff have come into the country in a relatively safe truck, it would have generated taxes and tariffs. As a bonus it would be easier to keep it out of the hands of kids because the nice lady at 7-11 is actually going to check IDs. It would also cut the head off Mexican drug violence. (Funny, you heard a lot less about American gangsters after prohibition was repealed).

Elsewhere, CNN took it upon themselves to point out that cat costumes, Starfleet T-Shirts, teeny tiny miniskirts, blankets, evening gowns, and swimsuits are not appropriate attire for a job interview. Oh Really??

Another good one was USA Today informing us that kids who use “electronic media at night” sent an average of 34 texts or emails, and were often woken at night by calls or texts. Not surprisingly, they “may have mood or learning problems during the day….” Do you think??

But by far my favorite is the FBI manhunt for a couple involved in a Ponzi scheme. They allegedly defrauded a dozen investors of $3,000,000. Now here’s the strange part: the man met several of their victims while in prison. Now, would you take investment advice from a guy who was in prison? Apparently some people would.

In Closing: immaculate conception of snakes; the Great Wall of Croatia; T-Shirts for travelers; disaster coloring books; on unemployment and interest rates; shades of grey; JP nails it; amazing cure-all proven in study after study; Happy NaBloPoMo; the damage doesn’t look as bad from out here; and Samurai Reformer.