October 2010 – Shortwoman.com

In the Shorties of Madness

What’s Your Angle: In what I fervently hope will be the last thing I have to say about Sharron Angle ever, Angle announces that she won’t be answering any questions asked by the pesky [local] media until she is a Senator, darn it. And Channel 8? You are so not invited to her Election Night Party, so there! Listen sweetie, if you don’t want people asking you questions in public, don’t be a public figure.

Let common sense prevail: Did you know that something in your body is very likely subject to a United States Patent? Good thing that big corporations haven’t figured out a way to charge you for that. Anyway, it looks like the United States may revisit the idea that my genes and your genes can be somebody else’s intellectual property.

I keep saying this: sugary drinks are not good for you.

Fail: When trying to steal copper from a vacant home, make sure the power is in fact off first. Oh, and leave the kids at home rather than sitting in the car waiting for you.

They’re mad as hell: and worse yet, they think they have some right to hurt or even kill you if you dare to disagree with them and their vision of a Utopian past-future. I’m beginning to wonder if my “liberal” respect for life — endorsed by the 10 Commandments and Jesus himself! — might need some retooling in the face of reality.

It’s the fraud, stupid: That’s the short version. It’s starting to look like the various state Attorneys General don’t like the BAMTOR Principle and may even hold banks accountable for their criminal actions, even if the SEC merely thinks the law is some sort of a suggestion.

I realize you may never need to know this: Table Etiquette for Formal Dinners in Japan.

This could turn out badly: So most people aren’t willing to relocate for a job anymore. More to the point, they can’t relocate for a job because they can’t sell their house for anything close to what they paid for it (advantage to renters?). At what point will job seekers decide to take the job and walk away from the house they can’t afford without work?

Looking forward to it: a long overdue re-work of Power90, a follow-on to Insanity, and more details on P90X MC2.

Ezra is correct again: Since most people retire because they have to rather than because they want to, raising the retirement age is a really dumb idea.

Urine Drug Tests Must Stop: a woman had her newborn taken away because she foolishly ate a bagel with poppy seeds on it. Why do we tolerate businesses, schools, and government entities making decisions about our lives based on such an inaccurate test?

Bloody Romans: “I don’t get nothin from the government!” Except of course for my mortgage interest deduction, student loans, unemployment insurance, Social Security, VA benefits, Medicare, G.I. Bill benefits….

Clearly deregulation is the answer: after all airlines would surely keep planes in good repair all by themselves if there were no pesky regulations requiring it.

Nothing left for me to say: Comrade E.B. Misfit said it all.

A reason to encourage absentee voting: nobody to harass you at the polls for being too brown.

Hope you are having fun: at the Colbert–Stewart rally.

Blast from the past: old computer equipment ads.

And last but not least: at least they are honest about it!

So remember to vote this Tuesday if you haven’t already. And remember my handy tip for voter initiatives, just say no.

Extortion

Yesterday, we learned that Ford was planning to create 1200 new jobs in the state of Michigan. GM and Chrysler also announced job plans.

This morning I learned the truth: they planned to create those new jobs if they got certain tax breaks.

“Sure is a nice state ya got here, Miz Granholm. Sure would be a shame if somethin should happen to it.”

Seeing as Ford’s profit in just the last three months was $1.7 billion ($1700 million if you prefer), why do they deserve such a tax break at the expense of the everyday people who pay taxes? Don’t you suppose the tax break given to the large and newly profitable again auto manufacturers could do a lot towards fixing Michigan’s abysmal roads and Detroit’s crumbling infrastructure? Perhaps it would be easier to balance Michigan’s budget if they didn’t have to play tax games with their biggest taxpayers.

Of course every state and many municipalities have to play this game, and corporations are more than happy to play us off one another, threatening to pick up their factories and stores and go somewhere else if they don’t get their way. And since Congress is a wholly owned subsidiary of Big Business, we can’t expect them to level the playing field for us. All we can do is sit back and hope our state and local politicians don’t screw us too hard in the name of “economic development” that may never materialize.

In Closing: How will they make enough money without bubbles to inflate??; college degrees by county; growth, accidents, and the poisoning of the Gulf of Mexico; the ACLU finally caught up to me on this one; I agree; how about we stop doing things we aren’t proud of instead?; Paul is Dead; and a novel way to get crime tips.

Grape Leaves Changing Color

Fall has officially arrived in Vegas.

In Closing: 22.5%; a brave man confronts ignorant women; it’s the continuing adventures of Harry and Sharron!; glad I’m not in Chicago this week; accidental gay marriage; is anyone really, honestly surprised they’ve found oil at the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico? Really?; no wonder things are tough all over; Vote For Jobs (and in my opinion, against ballot initiatives); the Problem with Charity; I bet that there may be jobs at the worlds largest solar-thermal plant; what is the Treasury hiding?; BlueGal‘s got your Contract With America; Hup, two, three, four, keep it up, two, three, four; trial balloon (notice that the things under consideration mostly effect working class people?); gee I can’t imagine why; the “step 2” problem with austerity; President Obama created more jobs this year than President Bush created in 8 years; on poverty and student performance; ZAP!; and Janitors with PhDs.

Facepalm

Or: Ha ha! Women Like Cupcakes!

The Christian Science Monitor is not the only news source that went with the headline “Obama targets women voters in Seattle trip with talk of jobs, cupcakes.” The title goes back to this paragraph:

The White House gathered a group of female business owners for the Seattle meeting to try and help Obama argue that his policies have benefited women. They included the owner of a metal products manufacturing firm, and the owner of a specialty cupcake bakery.

Goodness knows we couldn’t have gone on to say something about the non-stereotypical woman running a metal shop! Nope, we had to talk about cupcakes. Apparently Secret Service guys like them too. If I liked reinforcing stereotypes, I’d point out the similarity between cupcakes and donuts. After all, aren’t Secret Service guys a lot like cops? And cops love donuts, amiright?? Ha ha!

What a shame that small talk about pastries derailed the actual important point of the article:

[A new report available from the White House Domestic Council] notes that women are now over 50 percent of US college graduates, and close to a majority of the US work force. At his Seattle town hall, Obama made the argument that as women go, so goes the nation, jobwise.

“How well women do … will help determine how well our families are doing as a whole,” said Obama.

What a shame that this message — and the larger message that many of us need decent jobs in workplaces that do not hamper our ability to be part of our families — had to be buried under a pile of designer cupcakes.

In Closing: On the Yalie frat boyz (am I correct that we would already be talking about their expulsion if they were chanting “Lynch Them!” instead of high-spirited talk of rape? Please say I am); right, putting parents in jail will really make them better parents; try stomping your foot when you want a large corporation to do things your way; I NEVER NOTICED; I didn’t even notice The Great Nevada Shake Out; roar; water on the moon (everything you learned in grade school is suspect); “legal” pot in California might save more on law enforcement than it generates in revenues (like that’s a bad thing); yes, insurers will have to spend at least 80% of premiums on health care instead of profits; 2017??; our local paper may have to actually deal with the concept of “Fair Use“; the accidental girls school; an excellent question; noooooooo!; end of the CD?; wanna buy a live crab?; and a comic:

Shorties in the Sky

Impressive: America needs roughly $2,200,000,000,000 in repairs to things like roads, tunnels, bridges and the like. You don’t suppose doing something like that might result in some kind of fiscal stimulus?

Stick to feeding the poor and preaching peace: young people increasingly turned off by the hateful political crap spewed by many churches.

Do Not Grope the Pilot: He would also like you to not take naked pictures of him, and moreover he would like you to assume he is not a terrorist.

Is it time to resign yet?: Senator John Ensign (the guy who isn’t Harry Reid) raised a whopping $18,000 last quarter. Unfortunately he had to shell out over a half million dollars in legal fees.

Color By Numbers: There are more black men in prison today than were enslaved in 1850. You don’t really believe that’s because the overwhelming majority of crimes are committed by black people, do you? You don’t suppose that there could be just a wee tiny bit of racism going on?

I Dare you?: D.A.R.E., encouraging children to put their parents in prison and themselves in foster care, all for the unworthy goal of the long since lost “War On Drugs.” Heck, we couldn’t even win the “War On Drugs” by re-destroying the #1 opium producing nation in the world!

Go Ahead, Make the Case for Medicare For All: Some insurance companies are threatening to stop writing policies if they are forced to follow the law in 2011 instead of a largely theoretical future date of their choosing. Yeah, you just go on and do that, suckers. In the meantime, the Feds are taking on Michigan Blue Cross for stifling competition in a way that raises prices. Nice to see them the Feds actually giving a darn about normal people over corporations for a change.

Obligatory Items on the Economy: Reich’s Perfect Storm; donations down 11% at the top 400 American charities; the problem with the economy so that absolutely anybody can understand it.

No Woman Should Have to Put Up with This Crap: “Some students and the Yale Women’s Center board complained after pledges were videotaped last week, chanting about necrophilia and a specific sexual act.” Pledge activities have been suspended, but as far as I am concerned, some wealthy young [insert offensive plural noun] needs to get suspended or expelled. Let them explain to their daddies and mommies what they did on videotape and why. “Boys will be boys” my ass!

Password protection for your internet connection is a good idea: “Deputies arrested Candice Miller only after they raided the wrong house. Investigators busted into the neighbors’ house suspecting they were sending child porn. Turns out Miller’s neighbors didn’t secure their wireless Internet connection.”

The Difference Between Theft and Piracy: boils down to what you’ve got afterward.

If Only: Myth Busted! Can we move on to where you were born?

Smart people drink more: Alcohol consumption correlates with intelligence.

I guess I know what I’m wearing tomorrow: purple. Relevant.

It’s less annoying than air travel: record number of riders on Amtrak.

No I don’t really need this: but a pizza cutter shaped like the Enterprise is still pretty cool.

I promise it’s the only thing I’ll say about it here: (But expect a post over at BridgetMagnus.com about foreclosures later) Ladies and gentlemen I present the dumbest thing anybody has said about a moratorium on foreclosures! “For instance, in Cleveland, where there are over 18,000 vacant homes, lives Millie Davis who recently earned her Master’s Degree in Urban Planning from Cleveland State University and just bought her first home – one that had fallen into foreclosure and sat abandoned for years. Had a blanket moratorium been in place, that sale would have fallen through — not only deferring her dream of homeownership but leaving neighbors on the block to stand by and watch as their property values continue to plummet.” Now then first of all her Master’s degree couldn’t possibly have less to do with the situation. I’ve got one of those myself and a fat lot of good it’s done me. Second, I don’t think anybody is talking about going back and examining the paperwork on homes that “sat abandoned for years.” That is all water under the bridge. The priority right now is to make sure that the banks or other entities that are foreclosing on homes a) have the legal right to do so and b) follow all the applicable laws when they do it (and they probably don’t). Failing to find this out now could result in millions of homes that can’t be sold at all because nobody can prove who really owns them. Oh, and c) “vacant” and “foreclosed” are two different things, which is something I would have expected the Secretary of HOUSING and Urban Development to know.

And one last thing: great descriptions of things on TV.

Following Up

Earlier this week, I said the FDIC was preparing for a too-big-to-fail institution to fail, and I speculated that Bank of America was the most likely candidate. Looks like bond investors figured the same thing.

Just yesterday I was on about an article suggesting that instead of blaming the banks for committing fraud, we instead blame the victim for not paying his mortgage. I wasn’t the only person who took offense at that ill-considered piece of garbage.

It’s been a while since we’ve heard much stink about property rights cases like Kelo vs. New London, where property was taken simply because somebody thought there was a market for something nicer. It turns out there are “environmental costs” to those developments, many of which are no longer viable since the real estate bubble burst.

And here’s one from way way back there. Somebody needed a study to show that small businesses create jobs? Next thing you know we’ll be studying whether or not things fall when you drop them.

In closing: Fox and Cablevision play chicken; etiquette schools; “honey, which can did you use?”; and “You’re much stronger than you think you are,” said Superman.

Make Me Mad

This morning I read a little item called “It’s time to stop blaming the lenders.” The essence can be told in less than one paragraph:

It’s okay that people made the mistake of borrowing more than they could afford. But is it really the lenders’ fault? Really? Maybe the banks didn’t deserve to be bailed out for their own poor judgment, but do the rest of us really deserve to bailed out for our own?

So let me make sure I’ve got this right. It’s our fault?

It’s Harry Homeowner’s fault that when he went to talk to Mary Mortgage-Broker, he actually believed her when she told him he could afford up to a $300,000 mortgage? It’s his fault that she lied to him, or pressured him into a pick-a-payment or adjustable rate mortgage he didn’t completely understand?

It’s Nicolle Bradbury‘s fault that she lost her job and — like so many other people — hasn’t been able to find another job that would allow her to continue making a modest $474 monthly payment?

It’s Joe Average’s fault that “everybody ought to own a house” propaganda combined with shoddy underwriting to create a housing bubble, even when the people who should have known it was a bubble said everything was fine?

It’s my fault that mortgage company executives were making insider trades?

It’s Darrell‘s fault that the mortgage company lost his paperwork not once, but five times?

It’s your fault that banks sold one another worthless securities based on your neighbors’ mortgages, and now sometimes can’t even figure out who owns what?

It’s our fault that banks hired scores of people with dubious qualifications to sign legal documents equivalent to swearing in a court of law, attesting that they knew things they couldn’t possibly know about our mortgages?

Is it also Nancy Jacobini‘s fault that her home didn’t look “lived in” enough for the goons hired by her mortgage company to change the locks? Is it her fault that he couldn’t be bothered to look in a window or knock on the door?

It’s Patrick Jeffs‘s fault that a mortgage company tried to take his home when he didn’t even have a mortgage with them?

This is nothing more than a pathetic attempt at victim blaming. It’s right up there with “she wore a short skirt so she deserved to be raped” and “he was walking at night; he should have known better.” The author should be ashamed of himself, but he honestly believes that it’s as simple as “no pay, no stay.”

In Closing: they want to build a steam powered computer; obesity is a threat to national security; venture capitalists are spending less money on new companies, which bodes ill for future job creation; average teen sends 3,339 text messages per month; girls can so do math; bad boys, bad boys, whacha gonna do?; health insurance reform isn’t over yet; overworked; and let me make sure I understand, the kids throw a wild party that got out of hand, and so you arrest the parents, leaving the kids to throw another party? Egads.

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Looks Like Rain

Most people don’t carry around an umbrella unless they think there’s a good chance of rain.

That being said:

The Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. board approved interim guidelines to help clarify its procedures for liquidating complex financial firms [edit: that is, “too big to fail” firms] when they collapse, including permitting better treatment for some creditors when it benefits the estate or broader economy.

However, in the event of an impending implosion, the statute authorizes the FDIC to use U.S. taxpayer dollars to make partial payments to “healthy” counter-parties of the failing firm so that they wouldn’t go down with it. Once economic disaster is averted, the law requires the government to recoup the costs of the bailout by selling the bank’s assets and by collecting fees from big financial institutions with $50 billion or more in assets.

So then, the question as I see it is simple: which big bank does the FDIC expect to collapse? My money is on the one that declared last week that they were halting all foreclosures in all 50 states.

In closing: Mankiw is an idiot; what made them think that was a good idea??; I would rather take my chances with the slot machines; in denial; she can raise money but can she stop being crazy?; epilogue to cholesterol story; “I don’t know if he’s qualified to be on the Federal Reserve Board. He’s only got a Nobel Prize in Economics“; This Angry Season; and recovery.

Do Not Panic

Yesterday, two elementary students were injured when a nutcase wearing black and spewing nonsense about the President opened fire with a gun.

Mark my words, by Monday some parent will be insisting that outdoor recess be abolished as “too dangerous.” The argument will be nothing more than “What if something like this happens again?? Better safe than sorry!”

But before we start herding all the children into the gymnasium, let’s look at some facts. According to these guys, there are over 38,000,000 elementary school students in the United States. The nice folks at the Census (plus my pocket calculator) say it’s only 37,811,132. For simplicity’s sake, let’s just say 38 million. This doesn’t include high school students.

Now then, how many students have been injured by guns at an elementary school? This is sufficiently rare that a Google search for “elementary school gun” turns up a collection of stories of kids expelled for having guns, toy guns, water guns, BB guns, stories of gun scares, etc.. Add the word “injured” and yesterday’s item fills most of the first page. If we go to Wikipedia’s page on “school shootings”, we find that in the last three years exactly 34 people have been killed in school shootings, including incidents on college campuses and high schools, including faculty and other adult victims. In fact, there have only been 27 school shooting incidents on elementary, middle, junior high, and grade school campuses in the United States ever, including yesterday.

So, we have a literal less than one in a million chance of being shot at school. You have more chance of dying today in a car wreck than being involved in a school shooting ever.

By way of contrast, an American child has a one in 3 chance of being overweight or obese, putting them at increased risk of diabetes, heart disease, sleep apnea, cancer, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and a host of other life shortening problems.

You want to play the “won’t somebody think of the children” card? Send them outside for recess. Let them go play.

In Closing: Could you pass the citizenship test?; People other than me are calling the foreclosure mess fraud (perhaps the BAMTOR Principle will crumble and people will go to prison?); if everybody eats there then how come I never see them?; disconnected; demented; decline of business casual (it’s all your fault!); and smell like a monster.

Wouldn’t that be nice?

Taken at Clark High School in Las Vegas.

In Closing: Foreclosure mess (update, Bank of America has halted all foreclosures nationwide); new 300 year old Vivaldi concerto; progressive agenda; we have to be better; I hope the FDIC bankrupts these [redacted]; always check your work; on Afghanistan; 30% of unemployed have been out of work for at least a year, and the number of jobs in the economy went down last month (no wonder bankruptcies are up); good idea; speaking of food stamps; “none of the above“; new style CPR; sometimes it’s how you say it; and cell phones don’t and can’t cause cancer (“physics shows that it is virtually impossible for cell phones to cause cancer”).

Oh and one more thing! Surf over to Vegas Video Network to see my new show later today!