Apparently it’s just too hard to slap a couple slices of pre-cooked bacon onto your sandwich. That beats last week’s winner, bacon flavored sunflower seeds:
The baconization of America has gone too far, people.
In closing: kindergarten; cholesterol.
Month: May 2012
A City of Tradition
Why yes, Chicago is a city of tradition. They turn the river green for St. Patrick’s day — and I don’t mean for organic fishing. They have arcane fire codes because of an ancient fire which destroyed most of the city (and freed up the coastal areas for redevelopment as parkland). Foods like pizza and hot dogs have their own Chicago traditions. There’s so much tradition that according to legend, the dead vote.
And there’s also a fine tradition of Chicago’s police department pre-acting and over-reacting.
Sure, they are expecting protests of the NATO summit. Sure, abandoned luggage has to be investigated these days instead of being taken to the lost and found. And sure, there are lots of targets, although I fail to see what bombing the mayor’s place would have proved (and even if it would have accomplished something, any idiot terrorist should have expected more security this week than next week).
Was it really necessary to arrest people for something that they might have been thinking about doing? How do you prove you weren’t thinking something? And really, to describe a Malotov as a “primitive bomb” means that all those IEDs in Iraq are sophisticated devices. Anybody with gasoline, an empty glass bottle, and an old rag can make one. Of course, the “bomb making” equipment may well turn out to be “beer making” equipment. I understand the confusion; both start with B.
And if they were going to take 30 hours to come up with a warrant, couldn’t they at least have found a judge to sign the damn thing? Were these unarmed people really so dangerous they had to be shackled to a bench for 18 hours? Really? Did they get their phone call? Did they have to dial with their noses?
All snark aside, CPD could learn a lot from Vegas Casino security.
In closing: Hawaii tells Arizona where to get off; is a short middle-aged white guy in a hoodie a thug too?; he knew what the job paid when he spent millions of dollars trying to get it; bananas > Gatorade; apparently some people think preventing rape of prisoners is a luxury; 44% of Facebook users never click on ads.
Kitchen Tasks that Sound Hard but Aren’t
When I got out of college, I wasn’t much of a cook. Most of what I made wasn’t awful, but much of it wasn’t good either. Still, I never bought those Hamburger Helper type products, and I have gradually stopped using most processed foods. Over the years, I’ve learned a lot. Here are some things that trust me, you really can do at home.
Whip Butter: Put some softened — not melted! — butter and some milk (or half-and-half) in the mixer. If it’s unsalted butter, add a teaspoon of salt. Start your mixer fairly while everything mixes up or you’ll spray milk everywhere. Keep turning it up gradually until it’s set to the highest setting. Keep going until that stuff is light and fluffy! Put it in a container in the fridge and enjoy for a week or two. Oh, whatever shall you enjoy that butter on? How about some homemade sourdough bread?
Sourdough Starter: Until recently, I kept a starter in the fridge. Let’s start with a film:
The short version is mix whole wheat flour with bottled or filtered water (chlorine in tap water kills microorganisms that would make you sick, but it will also kill yeasts). Put it out someplace covered with cheesecloth to keep bugs out. Once it’s going, you can use a folded paper towel and rubber band instead. Add some more water/flour mix every day until it gets foamy. Feed daily if you leave it out, weekly if you put it in the fridge.
Caesar Dressing: Ok, there are two intimidating parts to making this at home. First is called “coddling the egg.” Put a small pot of water on the stove. Use a pin to poke a small hole in the big end of the egg. Put it in boiling water for a minute. The other “hard” part is the emulsion. More on that in a minute. Toss a clove of garlic, a couple tablespoons of lemon juice, your choice of a total of 2 teaspoons of anchovy paste/Worchestershire/both (I use both), fresh ground pepper, and everything you can scrape out of 2 coddled eggs into a blender. Turn it on, and keep blending even after it looks blended. Now comes the “tricky” part: very slowly add a half cup of olive oil. Seriously, very slowly. That’s the key to the emulsion. Once you’re done, toss that stuff with some romaine hearts and parmesan and call it done.
Devein Shrimp: Ok, I admit this one is a little gross. Recently, my partner got “a great deal” on a box of frozen shrimp, and we discovered that they were whole. Get some water running because you’re going to need it. If they still have heads, you’ll need to twist their little heads off. Then follow these easy tips. By the time dinner is ready, you will have forgotten the shrimp heads.
Seasonings: I am mystified by those little packets of things like “taco seasoning” or “Italian seasoning” sold in every grocery store. Come on folks! I know it seems more expensive to buy things like garlic powder, chili powder, cumin, oregano, and basil, but a bottle of each will last quite a while through many meals. And you’ll probably get a lot less salt and preservatives too.
And don’t even get me started on canned soup as an “ingredient.” Expensive, loaded with crap you don’t need, and not nearly as good as making your own sauces.
In Closing: more Facebook; income inequality and job creation; honestly in the so-called pro-life movement; just change how we grade the test so more people pass; and crash.
Dark Shorties
Hey folks, I made it to the 16th posting every day either here or on my professional site without any shorties! Let’s see if I can make it a single shorties month.
Attack of the Zero Tolerance Policy: Man fired for picking up a gun he found at work and turning it in to police, despite the fact that the police said he’d done the right thing. Sounds like something I wrote once.
I hope nobody is surprised: The most popular times for American birthdays is just about 9 months after winter.
Don’t forget the War on Terror: Where are the missing terrorists? Why do the FBI have to keep making them up? And when did Rolling Stone become a go-to source for serious investigative journalism?? Back in the day it was a music rag!
Context is Everything: GM says it’s evaluating the effectiveness of its $10,000,000 worth of Facebook ads, just days before Facebook’s $105,000,000,000 Initial Public Offering (BTW folks, IPOs are a sucker’s game unless you’re a genuine insider).
Whatever Became of Iceland?: Turns out they had a peaceful revolution, debt writedowns, indictment of bankers, and a host of other reforms we can learn from.
Seemed like a stupid idea to me: FTC fines Sketchers $40,000,000 for advertising shoes as having magic weight loss properties. They always looked like a good way to lose my balance and fall to me.
Amazing what you can do when you are driven by a goal: Harvard MBA pays down $90,000 in student loan debt — in 7 months! Spoilers, it involved selling stuff he didn’t need, taking in boarders, frugality, and taking a second job.
Most balanced thing I’ve seen written on the subject: Internships. It’s sad that a college’s job has to include teaching “job readiness” skills like professional behavior.
And finally: fingernails.
A cool, cozy Nest
I planned on writing a review of this nifty little device Real Soon Now, so let me take advantage of the fact that Engadget gave it a nod. It’s been talked about on NPR, twice. Even C|Net loves it. Popular Mechanics isn’t sure. Our household was an early adopter of the Nest Learning Thermostat. In fact as I think about it, we may well have had one of the first batch to ship back in December. By way of disclosure, my partner personally knows some of the people that worked on it. No, that didn’t get us a discount. And while we’re on the topic, I’m not getting a dime for this review; it’s just my honest opinion.
I’ve had programmable thermostats in the past. Most of them are hard to program, requiring lots of button mashing with the manual in one hand. The last ones we had would sometimes inexplicably reset themselves to the factory settings. Manufacturer knows best!
Unboxing a Nest is a very Apple experience. The packaging is lovely, designed to unveil your brand new $250 thermostat in the prettiest way possible. It has been called “the iPod of Thermostats.” Alright, but that’s not the nifty part.
First and foremost, it learns from the way you live your life. It will figure out that you like it a little warmer on cold winter afternoons, or that you like it cooler at night — and adjust the temperature automatically. It will in a matter of weeks figure out whether you are out all day or whether you leave around noon. You can of course correct it if it’s wrong.
Second, it has built in energy saving features that will reduce your energy bills. Not only will it adjust itself to you, if you pay attention it will help you save even more. According to their latest press release, an average family can save $1000 a year. That’s 4 times what the device itself costs.
Very few people are mentioning that multiple Nests can communicate with one another. This is a huge plus for any household with multiple HVAC units! They will work together to keep the whole house one temperature. This is why I think the Nest is a must for any larger home.
More people have pointed out that your Nest will actually connect to WiFi. What does that mean to you? It means you can control your thermostat from anyplace that you have an internet connection, including your smart phone! Want to turn on the AC or the heat when you leave the office for the day? No problem. Sitting at the airport and wonder if you remembered to turn off the air conditioner? Just log in and do it remotely. This makes it a must-have item for anybody who travels often or anybody with a vacation home.
Finally, it’s simple to use. The controls are intuitive. The menus use plain English. I have no problem saying it’s a great product and a huge step forward in programmable thermostats.
This item is cross-posted at my other site.
In Closing: recessions will do that; judge recognizes “fair use” when he sees it; and value added services.
Music Monday: The Killers
Ok, look. She’s been dancing with you for 17 songs and she still won’t tell you her name? If an average song is 4 minutes, that’s over an hour. She’s too polite to say it, but she wants nothing to do with you! I don’t care if “anything goes in a place like this.” Pestering her about her effeminate boyfriend won’t help. Or are you calling her a lesbian because she’s not into you?
In Closing: Foxaganda; whose fault??; austerity could kill your baby; apparently terrorists and the experts who try to stop them don’t know history (what a disasster); who cares about probable cause; and profiling still doesn’t work.
Happy Mothers Day
Seriously, happy thoughts for all moms everywhere.
In Closing: Duhpartment of Research says training employees is important; negative net worth; Seriously? W called Alberto Gonzales “Fredo?; Duhpartment of Research also finds “you are what you read“; buried in student loans; and 86,000,000 uncounted unemployed.
What IS the Matter with Kansas?
So Kansas wants to make it perfectly legal for a doctor to lie to a dumb bitch pregnant woman. Let me provide my own commentary on the ACLU’s points:
It would provide legal protection to a doctor who discovers that a baby will be born with a devastating condition and deliberately withholds that information from his patient because he doesn’t want her to seek an abortion. That means a doctor could decide to lie about the results of a woman’s prenatal test so that she won’t have information that she needs to make the best decision for her circumstances.
In other words, a doctor can make a woman give birth to a baby with birth defects that she can’t provide for financially or emotionally. Sorry, the days of “put the abomination in an institution” are long over. I’ve already discussed that this is fraud.
The bill attempts to scare women by forcing doctors to tell patients about a supposed link between abortion and breast cancer — a risk that the National Cancer Institute, the American Cancer Society, and other medical experts roundly reject .
Doctors are not only allowed to lie to patients, they are forced to lie to patients.
This bill would also require public hospitals to turn away a woman who desperately needs an abortion to prevent serious harm to her health. The extremists pushing this bill would have a hospital tell a very sick woman that she should come back when her pregnancy is about to kill her, even if that risks her future fertility or causes organ failure.
I’m not sure what the definition of “public hospital” is here: hospitals owned by government entities (rather than corporations or charitable organizations) or just hospitals open to the public. Nevertheless, this is like telling someone with chest pains to come back when they are sure it’s a heart attack.
Now here’s the thing. Where are the doctors on this? Why aren’t doctors screaming that this law puts women in danger? Why aren’t doctors pointing out that this bill requires them to lie to patients? Why am I the one pointing out that even with this fig leaf of a bill it’s going to bite doctors on the ass to tell a patient that everything is fine when it isn’t?
AMA? AOA? ACOG? This is the second state that wants to say it’s acceptable to conceal important medical information. I don’t even know how many states require doctors to lie about breast cancer. At least one state requires expensive, medically unnecessary procedures before an abortion, and more states are considering it. Where’s your statement on this? How does this square with your legal and ethical requirements to do the right thing for patients?
How long before employers decide they just can’t do business in a state where their female employees face obstacles to sometimes (regrettably) medically necessary care, and where a routine pregnancy can mean losing employees who must become full time caregivers for a baby with severe birth defects?
In Closing: Ninja; that resume can go in the trash; on J.P. Morgan; how did we get to a lunch revolution?; and NAFTA vs. China.
Beauty is Everywhere
Coincidence
Does anybody else think it’s odd that not that long after a demonstration of how a Bad Guy could get stuff through one of those nudie-scanners, the CIA foils an airplane bomb plot using a “non metallic” bomb carried by a double agent?
Yeah, sounds like “more hyperbole… than reality” to me too.
Gotta hand it to the CIA for learning from the FBI playbook.
In Closing: but they’re organic blobs of sugar and wax!; Microbial Armageddon; be one of the lucky 10000 outside, please; more job killing in the name of free trade; warmest year on record; I wonder how long until the first death by “non-lethal” weapon; get rid of pink slime, and all of a sudden we’re whining about lost jobs. Maybe if they weren’t making something disgusting?